Inevitable Effects of Taking Your Child to Daycare

Daycare is a social environment, which is wonderful for children's development, but also has its share of pitfalls. Here are a few common occurrences with suggestions for how parents can handle the everyday issues that may arise.

Another child bit/hit/hurt my child

Young children sometimes express their frustration physically, whether with their hands or teeth, and depending on the age of the children it is not uncommon for parents to get a call about their child being mildly hurt by another.

If it is a one-time occurrence, console your child if she is upset and ignore it if she isn't so you don't re-open the emotional wound again. Either way, talk to the teacher to find out what happened. If it happens often, talk to the teacher and/or daycare administration about what is being done to limit physical harm to all of the children.

My child has picked up some bad habits

Recent studies such as the NICHD national child care study have indicated that children who attend high-quality daycare programs tend to develop better language and thinking skills than those who don't, but may also may exhibit more aggressive behaviors. This largely reflects the "monkey see, monkey do" mentality of young children and explains why some children in daycare may bring home habits their parents are not happy about.

Whether it is potty talk, taking toys from siblings, or wild behavior at the table, set firm house rules about what is and is not acceptable. Your child is testing you and his boundaries so be consistent about what he is allowed to do. Talk to your child's teacher and mention any concerns that you have and see if she has suggestions for how to handle things.

My child has yet another communicable disease

Whether it is a simple cold, the rotavirus, the coxsackie virus, or something else, your child is more likely to get sick when he is in daycare. But think of the time as an immune system building experience because every child is going to get sick at some point, and by the time daycare children get to kindergarten their immune systems tend to be stronger than those who were at home.

To help limit the chance of your child getting sick, work with him to instill good hand washing habits and teach him not to put toys in his mouth. Many daycare facilities have sick policies so check with yours about when it is or is not okay to send a borderline sick child.

Every morning drop off is a crying fit

When some children start daycare for the first time, or experience a change in their routine such as a new room, teacher, or sibling at home, the morning drop off can be a heart-wrenching experience for everyone. Your child's teacher is your ally in making the drop off go smoothly so talk with her to get suggestions.

Though it might be easier on you, don't "sneak out" when your child isn't looking because this increases her feeling of abandonment. Instead, leave the house a few minutes earlier and create a short drop off routine (read a story, sit together with a toy, etc.) and then tell her you love her and will see her in the evening. You can talk about it during the car ride, and remind her you will be back soon. Before leaving give your child to the teacher or bring her over to the other children in the class. Odds are great that her crying stops within a few minutes after you leave.

Every evening pick up is a struggle

Knowing your child doesn't want to leave daycare because he is having fun with toys and his friends can make day care pick up a drawn out experience. Most parents also are pressed for time in the evening so it can be frustrating having to coax your child out the door. It's not that he doesn't love you, but he can do interesting things at daycare and doesn't want to leave.

When you arrive say hello to your child and tell him exactly how long he has until it's time to go. Then sit back and observe how he interacts with his friends or teacher, and what he does. These few minutes are an opportunity to gain insight into his day and talk with his teacher about changes she notices. When it's time to go, don't have a negotiation but take his things, help him wash his hands, and walk out the door together, regardless of protests. Children thrive on routine and consistency and the leaving process should settle down after a few days.

Daycare is a necessary part of many children's lives and a positive experience for most families. Consistency and communication will help parents and children ease through any of the typical bumps along the way.