Infant Potty Training & Elimination Communication

As a mother of nine my mother always had a lot of wisdom to share and sometimes her offerings of advice were not willingly accepted. However over the years through hindsight I realized the knowledge she was willing to share with me was invaluable. One of these lessons came about in a casual conversation about diapers. At the time I was a new mother of a beautiful one month old baby girl. I was trying to decide whether cloth diapering was an option for me. So I asked my mother how many cloth diapers she had used with us as babies, how many loads of wash could I expect and if she ever used disposable diapers. She replied that in the beginning there would be numerous changes but if you toileted them earlier you can cut down the number drastically. "Well" I said "that is fine but what could I expect the first year" to which she replied "Well when are you planning to toilet train?"

Potty training to me was always a toddler issue and surely not something I had to concern myself with a one month old. Trying to be respectful I asked her how old did she usually start. The reply to me was shocking "as soon as they are able to hold their head up". As I looked at her in disbelief she added "and you were all out of diapers by age one". I took this all in wondering to myself how the heck is a two month old going to know how to go potty. When my daughter was four months old after giving it thought I decided it wouldn't hurt to try. So I asked my mom what is the best way to potty train at this age and she said pay attention the baby will give you cues and then you sit them on the potty. People refer to this as "ec" or elimination communication.

Many mothers are very diligent with this method. You leave the child diaper free and try to put them on the potty every two hours or so and constantly look for cues that they are ready to go. While bowel movement cues are easier to pick up on for example; passing gas, a furrowed brow, or squatting, the cues for urinating are not always that evident. I did not choose the diaper free method so I guess what I did was considered part time "ecing". I started by paying attention to patterns such as when I got ready for work each morning I noticed my daughter would wake up and urinate right away. As soon as I noticed her waking up in the morning I would put her right on the potty and while she urinated I made a pssss sound and then I would smile and praise her. I did this for a few weeks and if she happened to start a bowel movement I would make a grunting sound. Then gradually on the days I was home I would put her on the potty before naps or meals and would make the psss sound and sure enough she would urinate. If I picked up on the bowel movement cues I would take her right into the potty and make the grunting sounds and she would have a bowel movement. It was not long before I just instinctively knew when it would be the best time for her to use the potty.

Now whenever I shared with people that I was potty training my infant there were many different reactions. Some people thought it was funny or that I was crazy or being ridiculous while others had much stronger opinions and thought it was wrong to try to potty train them so young. There is a common belief that you are psychologically harming your child by putting them on the toilet that young. This is more of a western belief there are numerous countries that would consider waiting until the child is two or three to be very odd. When an infant cries you usually assume they are hungry or that they have a wet diaper, they cry because they are aware they are wet. Eventually as they are continually diapered they become more accustomed to have a wet bottom and not as aware when the have urinated. They are then kept in diapers until the age of two or three or until they begin to notice once againthat they are wet. I have witnessed many of my friends having issues with their child toilet training and they often set up reward systems to get their child on the toilet. Or in other circumstances their child is afraid of the toilet or afraid of having a bowel movement on the toilet. My daughter never had a reward system nor did she ever have any fear of the toilet she was just used to going on the toilet. By the time she was walking she would walk into the bathroom either patting her butt or patting her front side depending on what she had to do. I had her in cloth training pants before she was a year old and she only wore disposable diapers when were out in public in case of an accident. She never had even a hint of diaper rash and one of the best things, since the age of five months I had changed approximately five stinky diapers. The other thing I noticed is by about six or seven months she started staying dry through the night and now at almost three years of age has never wet the bed at night.

With my second daughter we started a little later at six months but now at the age of nine months, amazingly, when she has to have a bowel movement she crawls right into the bathroom. I take a very casual approach to all of this and never force my children to do anything nor am I upset if I don't pick up on any cues. I am however very happy I took my mom's advice not only for myself (saving me from all those stinky diapers and a lot of money on diapers) but also in the knowledge that it must be much more comfortable for my girls to relieve themselves in a toilet rather then in their diapers. I don't think that this is for everyone, it does take some time, diligence and lot patience but it did work for me and did not harm my children. We have become so advanced in the Western World that sometimes it is frowned upon to rely on "old fashioned" methods to accomplish something. Personally I prefer to be more open to thinking different things work for different children and it doesn't hurt to try.