Infertility: Going the IVF Route

I would often stay up late at night and wonder what was wrong with me. Why wasn't I getting pregnant. Why was this so hard. Everyone around me was getting pregnant left and right and I couldn't. My mom had both my sister and I without any problems. My sister just picked a time and date and got pregnant according to her schedule. Me, not so much. Talk about being frustrated. The more frustrated I became the harder is seemed.

Advice was given to me all the time. Don't stress. Relax. Go on a vacation. Get drunk. Oh ok, that's right...I forgot to get drunk in order to get pregnant. Not going to work for me. My poor husband had to listen me complain day in and day out. I was so hard on myself and he couldn't help me. He tried but nothing helped. I just couldn't get pregnant.

I have a history of Endometriosis and was put on birth control many moons ago after having a laporoscopy. I was filled with polyps and cysts. My ovaries were painful to the touch. When I met my husband I had a feeling we were going to have trouble getting pregnant so I threw away my birth control pills. I figured if it happened, great. After a few years of marriage I started getting concerned.

I wasn't getting pregnant, not that we were really trying but no "oops" were happening either. I found that to be strange. It was at this point my husband and I made the decision to start "trying"/ Here we go. This should be easy right? Both my mom and sister were as I like to call them "Fertile Mertile". So piece of cake for my family to get pregnant. Well, after a few months we noticed nothing happening. After a year we really started to worry.

I went to my Gynecologist at that time and he put me on a medication called Chlomid. He told me to come back when I was pregnant. That was it. I was to take this from days 5 - 9 of my menstrual cycle. This was supposed to help me become a little more fertile, kinda get things going. But after a few months on this medication nothing happened. You are only allowed to be on this for a certain amount of months and we were done.

No more chlomid. I decided not to go back to this particular doctor and went to see a fertility specialist. I heard the wait time to get an appointment was ridiculous so I figured I would call early and get in. To my surprise I got right in. Great!.. This is the beginning of my road to fertility. Well, not so much.

First you are sent for a million tests. They were uncomfortable and very invasive. When my results started to come in everything was coming back fine. My "tubes" were open and my polyps never returned. On my end I looked like I was good to go. So we turned the focus on my husband. We weren't really paying much attention to him getting tested because of my medical history I just assumed the problem was with me. My husband had to go for a very humiliating experience while giving his sperm sample. But he would do anything to help with the process of conceiving. To much of our surprise his test results came back normal too. So what was wrong with us? Were were not compatible as a couple and couldn't conceive? This was driving me crazy.

The next step was Artificial Insemination. This is when they take your husband sperm and physically place it in your uterus. Again I though great. This has to work. How can it not? Nope, didn't work. So we tried it again, nope it didn't work. When I called the doctor to talk about why this wasn't working the phone disconnected and I never heard from them. I kept trying to call but nothing. How rude. Here I was devastated and they didn't even care. I was just another number to them, I guess. I started to call around and got the number of a new fertility specialist. He was supposed to be the best.

When I called I realized that he must be the best because unlike the prior fertility doctor that I got in so quickly with (I now know why), this doctor was booked for 3 months. I had to wait until he had an opening 3 months later but I grabbed it. We waited this long already what's another 3 months. When it came for our appointment I was so excited but nervous at the same time. What if he starts all over again. I don't want to go through those tests again.

My husband would try to explain to me that it would be for the best to get retested. Maybe there was something that the first doctor didn't catch. So, I agreed. At our first appointment we went through all of our medical history in detail. Then the doctor asked a very important question, "Do you want to skip to IVF?" This stands for Invitro Fertilization. This procedure is very different than the artificial insemination. IVF is going to take over a month to go through. I jumped at the idea. I couldn't believe it. He wasn't even going to bother with the artificial insemination, how wonderful.

So we started our journey. The IVF journey. I had no idea what was in store for us. Thankfully to me I have the best husband in the world. He would go to every doctor's appointment with me and listen. I was so worked up I wasn't hearing half of what I was supposed to do. The nurses set up a calendar and recorded when I was supposed to call them and monitor my monthly cycle. I was given a phone number to call and a pin number to dial in to get my daily dose of medicine. I would have to go every morning to get my blood work done. Your dose of medication changes daily depending on the results of the blood work. I don't want to scare you but the medication is administered through a shot. Sometimes the shot had to be given in the thigh, sometimes the stomach, and the worst one the tush. OUCH! I couldn't sit for days. Oh I can't forget the itching,oh did they itch. What a process. But it was all going to be worth it in the end, I just knew it.

After about a month of shots and sonograms it was time for my eggs to be retrieved. At this point I had a certain amount of eggs that were ready to go. The nurse called me and scheduled my retrieval. Again I was back to taking certain medications for this to happen. I was so nervous. What if something goes wrong? I hope they get enough eggs was all I was thinking. They have to put you under twilight in order for them to do this. It didn't hurt at all. When I woke up they said everything went well. They were going to call me in a few days with the number of eggs that were retrieved. So we waited for the call.

When we got the call I was so happy. Over 20 were taken. Great. Now the next step. Fertilizing them. We had to wait to see how many would survive the fertilization process. In a few days we received another call. 11 fertilized. Ok, I guess. I was hoping for more. But it was good news. We scheduled the transfer right away. We decided to put back 2 eggs. Hopefully if they both took we could have twins. That would be wonderful. The transfer was so easy. I had to drink a lot of water that morning but that was it. It took about 10 minutes. No twilight this time. Again we waited for the phone call. But this time we had to wait 2 weeks before we would know if I was pregnant. The longest 2 weeks of our lives. Every twitch and tingle I would think ...yes!!! Again I was back on medication though. I took a specific medication called "progesterone". This was to help my uterine lining with implantation. I took this in the form of a shot in my tush. Ouch again. After 2 weeks we got the call. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! It WORKED and you are not going to believe this TWINS!!!!!!!!! I was in shock. I called my husband right away. We were overjoyed.

Now that the hardest part was done we were discharged from the fertility specialist and moved onto an OBGYN. The one we were going to see was highly recommended. We were going to be in good hands. We had our first appointment and the twins looked great. One heartbeat was stronger than the other but the doctor said it was normal. We believed him and went home. I told him about the progesterone shots I was on and he said that wouldn't be necessary anymore. I was nervous about stopping them but he said it was fine. At this point the placenta had taken over and I didn't need this extra medication. I listened to him and stopped all meds. To our dismay at our next appointment the doctor told us that one of the twins was gone. What? Gone? What does that mean? He called it "The Vanishing Twin". To this day I don't understand what happened. He told us it was normal and that the other twin was nice and strong. I asked him about the meds and he said not to take them. Of course I listened, he was the doctor.

Our next appointment was about to change our lives forever. We went for a routine sono and the nurse started having a panacked look on her face. She doesn't say anything but quickly rushes out of the room and gets the doctor. The doctor starts fussing with the sono machine and he says..."I am sorry but we lost the second twin." WHAT! Did I just hear you say what I think you said? Yes, it's true. Both of our precious babies were gone. I think at that moment in time I went into shock. I don't recall much after that other than having to sit with the receptionist to schedule a D&C. I couldn't believe this was happening. This had to be a nightmare and I was going to wake up any second. No, it wasn't a bad dream, it was reality.

The days that followed were a blur. I stayed in bed and cried what seemed to be forever. The shades were pulled down, I didn't answer the phone, and I definitely didn't go to work. No one was able to console me. I talked to no one. The only one I even let see me was my husband. This lasted for almost 2 weeks. I started getting out of my depression by going to work with my husband. He was the only I felt safe around, I don't know why. Eventually I worked up enough nerve to call the fertility specialist. To my surprise he had no idea what had happened. We quickly made an appointment to see him. My doctor was so mad at the OB for not contacting him. After all of the work we had gone through to get as far as we did he said there was no reason for us to have lost the twins, not even the first one.

After meeting with the fertility doctor we decided to go ahead with another IVF procedure. This time we were going to implant 3 embryos. We could end up with triplets! So once again we found ourselves with the shots, meds, etc. After another month of this we were ecstatic to find out we were pregnant again. This time with only one healthy strong baby. I was so relieved it was one because after what had happened with the twins I was weary of multiples. I am sure it had nothing to do with that but just the same, I was happy with one. This time we went to a different OBGYN. We we recommended to go see a "High Risk" OB. I felt comfortable with this decision.

As soon as we met our new doctor I knew we were in good hands. We told him all the twin loss and my meds. He said we are going to keep with the meds for 13 weeks to play it safe. Boy was I relieved. Our lives were finally starting to calm down. Things were good and we deserved it after everything we went through.

9 months later.......I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy ever. 7lbs 11 ozs of the brightest part of my life. Except my husband of course. How can I thank the fertility doctor and the OBGYN who helped us to conceive and deliver my perfect little boy. I look into his big blue eyes and can't believe it, still to this day. He is now 2 years old and I think back as I am writing this article...it was worth every shot. I still miss my twins though. They were my babies. I hold the grief in my heart but I know that they are looking over their little brother everyday.

Soon I will get up the strength to go through this process again for a little brother or sister for my son. But for the meantime, I enjoy every precious moment.