Infidelity

Recently I was terribly disappointed in a local South African artist who had a scandalous affair with a young woman. What really upset me was the fact that he was made out to be a victim of "weak inhibition". The tragic toll it took on his wife and children was less important while he was being branded another Kennedy-Clinton; unfaithful but with reason ...

I cannot think of the amount of pain he has caused his wife. I cannot grasp her confusion and grief. She is the one that is scarred. She is the one that has been humiliated and robbed of her dignity.

She is the one who put her career on hold to support his. She is the one that remained first-and-foremost the mother of his children; the loyal and devoted wife at his side. His hopes, dreams and expectations were hers.

Yet, she forgives him. She is prepared to make their marriage work. But nothing he says or does now will ever change the fact that she will inevitably bear moments of emotional guilt. No amount of agony or resentment will erase the years of betrayal. The intensity of pain he has caused will take many years for her to rebuild trust and respect in their relationship.

Does a leopard change his spots? Will he be able to give her tangible support? Will he be a meaningful source of comfort to her? Having shown his repentance, will he remain faithful?

Weak inhibition! Indeed! What does that say about the man? He decides to nurture another relationship on the side because the inclination of his heart is weak. Instead of focusing on the reality of his wife and marriage, he takes liberty as the impulse prompts. Has he no conscience? Or is it that his conscience is seared because of the promiscuous life he led before getting married. Perhaps he never had much respect for women. Or perhaps he idolizes himself to such an extent that his selfish and devious ways stun him emotionally.

I don't think people always realize the magnitude of the damage that is caused by being unfaithful. I often wonder why marriage vows aren't taken seriously. Marriage binds two people together "until death" parts them. Having vowed to do so, why do couples neglect working on their relationship after the honeymoon? Surely marriage needs maintenance!

For some people infidelity is a social pastime. Some believe they can carry on with an extramarital affair without it having to affect their marriage.

Many of his fans will find excuses for what he has done. Others will feel sorry for him. They will continue to support him and idolize him and he will continue to feed off of this attention. He keeps his blog updated with his egocentric attitude and worships the very ground he walks on with pride and confidence. There's nothing wrong with his self-esteem and he has his way with words. He seems so open and honest to the world ... yet, he deceives with such cunning. His infidelity is a way of life. What he has violated, he tries to make reasonable through defining our ignorance. Are we so blinded by idolatry that we cannot see the man for what he is? Never mind the fact that he has children born out of wedlock. Never mind the fact that he can make personal jokes about all his children. And to all the women he's loved before: he probably loved himself more.

A successful marriage is like any business venture. It takes commitment, time, energy and the necessary resources to make it work. Spending time together can make a marriage strong and happy. But in the world today, marriage is losing its role and position in society. More and more people choose to live together. It involves less commitment; less stress. And if the relationship doesn't work out, they can just walk away ... no 'strings attached'. Right!

In the end, I suppose what we should realize is that fame and fortune cannot guarantee happiness and satisfaction. It's sad that some people actually believe it does.