Information to Tell the Babysitter

You've checked the references, interviewed the babysitter, and you like what you see. You've picked her up, introduced her to the kids, and given her a tour of the house. The emergency contacts and a number where you can be reached are posted on the fridge, you've laid out the jammies, and let her know what time the kids go to bed. Now what? Is there anything else you can discuss to make the evening go smoothly and ensure that she'll want to come back?

Of course there is! If you've never babysat yourself, you might not realize how nerve-wracking it can be to be left alone in a strange house with strange kids for the first time. All those little family rules and practices that seem like second nature to you might be completely foreign to your babysitter. Taking just half an hour to give the new sitter some basic information about your kids, your rules, and your house before you leave her alone for the first time can ensure a much smoother babysitting experience, for the sitter and the kids.

Below, you'll find some tips and questions to help you consider what information your babysitter needs for her and the kids to have a great time together!

1. Let the sitter and the kids get to know each other a little before you leave.
This is just a basic tip I want to get out of the way before we move on. Basically, if you're inviting a babysitter into your home for the first time, be sure to leave plenty of time for her to orient herself to the home and your kids. A lot of parents will focus most of the time with the sitter before they leave on giving her instructions and showing her around the house. If your kids are outgoing and eager to spend time with someone new, this may be fine. But if the kids are shy or wary of new people, it would be best to give them a little time to get used to their new sitter while they know you're still there. Sitting down and playing a hand of Go Fish with the sitter and the kids, or even letting them play together in another room while you're still getting ready, can go a long way toward forming a calm and trusting relationship between babysitter and kid.

2. Are there any complicated electronic devices in the home the babysitter may need to operate?
Do you have multiple remote controls for the TV/DVD/VCR? Do you have a cable box? Do you have an electronic security system? An older or newer model microwave she may not be familiar with? An electric bottle warmer? A diaper genie? Try to think of what devices the babysitter may need to operate while you're gone, and whether or not it's likely she knows how to operate them. If you're not sure, ask her! If Timmy can't go to bed without watching his Elmo video, you'll want to make sure the babysitter knows how to play it for him!

3. Do the kids have a scheduled meal or snack, or can they request one if they're hungry?
Do you discourage between-meal snacking, or can the kids have a bowl of cereal if they're hungry? Are cookies only for afternoon snack, or can the kids have one after dinner? Do you restrict the amount of juice they drink, or can they have as much as they want?

If you expect the babysitter to provide a meal or snack for the kids, let her know what acceptable options are, or leave one out for her. If you don't want the kids to eat anything after dinner, let her know. Kids are great at finagling an extra treat out of unsuspecting sitters, so if you have firm rules about what the kids can eat and when, be sure to let your sitter know!

4. What about the babysitter? What can she eat?
Is she going to eat a meal with the kids? If so, is she going to eat the same thing the kids are eating? What if she doesn't like it? Are the fridge and the cupboards fair game, or are those chips for a party you're hosting the next night?

If the babysitter is going to be around for more than a few hours, chances are she's going to get hungry. You should let her know what her options are when the munchies hit her. Some sitters are more than willing to dive in to your fridge, so if something is off-limits, be sure to tell her. Others will be too timid to touch anything without express permission, so let them know explicitly what she can have. It's nice to leave special snacks for the sitter - a bowl of microwave popcorn and a can of soda can be very comforting to a sitter nervous about spending her evening in a strange house alone!

5. What do your kids like to do?
Some kids are very outgoing and can't wait to spend the evening with a new playmate! They'll have no trouble coming up with loads of activities to keep themselves and the babysitter busy. Other kids are too shy, or too young, to express their preferences. Give the sitter a few ideas of favorite games and activities your children like to play. Leave out the Candyland board game you got sick of a month ago, but your kids can't get enough of. Set up a (not-too-messy) craft project for them to do together. If you think your kids may take a long time to warm up to the new babysitter, leave out some favorite videos for them to watch together.

Speaking of videos - you need to let the babysitter know if it's ok for the kids to spend the entire evening in front of the tv, or if you would prefer they not watch at all. A good babysitter will be just as excited to play with your kids as she will be to earn some cash, but if she doesn't know where to start or how to break the ice with the kids, it's very tempting to just turn on the television. This is where giving her ideas for games and activities to do with the kids comes in handy. Just kindly let her know what your preferences are. Say something like, "I would prefer that the television stay off until the kids go to bed, so here are some ideas for things to do until then."

6. Is there a special trick/method for comforting your child?
Whether it's separation anxiety, hurt feelings, or a banged elbow, your kids may get upset while you're gone. Try to think if there's any advice you can give the babysitter for when this happens. Is there a favorite stuffed animal or blanket? A favorite song? Does distraction work, or should she ride it out? Does the child like to be picked up or held, or would he/she prefer to be left alone? Also, if your child frequently takes a while to calm his/herself (more than a few minutes), be sure to tell the sitter. You know it's normal for your toddler to cry for ten minutes after a minor hurt, but your babysitter doesn't, and she may worry that something more serious is wrong!

7. Where can they play?
If it's a nice day and still light out, can they go outside to play? Do the kids need to wear sunscreen? Can the nine year-old play outside by himself while the sitter is inside with the baby, or should everyone stay together? Is there anywhere in the house or outside that is off-limits?

It's important to let the babysitter know where she and the kids can play, and where they can't. Your child may be itching to get into your bedroom and the sitter may have no idea that isn't allowed. Same thing with the computer - are the kids allowed to use it? What are the rules? It may not occur to you that your child will want to play somewhere or with something that they know isn't allowed, but kids are famous for testing the limits of new caretakers! Be sure your babysitter knows where the kids are allowed to play, and under what conditions.

8. What about discipline?
What do you do when your kids are misbehaving, and what can your babysitter do? Do you use time-outs? How long are they, and what behaviors usually warrant them? Is sending the kids to bed early an option? Will there be consequences for the kids when you get home that she can remind them of?

9. When should she call you?
Some emergencies are self-explanatory, and most babysitters know they should call you if the child is sick or has an accident. But what else should she call you for? Do you want her to call you if your child is still upset an hour after you leave? Can she call if she has a little question, or would you prefer she only call for emergencies? If the child is misbehaving, do you want her to call you and let you know?

10. What time does she need to be home? What will you do if you're running late?
You've told the babysitter you'll be home by 11. What does the babysitter need for you to do if you're running late? Many babysitters have parents who worry, and who need to know if their child will be coming home late. They may have a curfew they're not allowed to break. Maybe they're counting on a parent or other family member to drive or walk them home. Ask the babysitter what time she needs to be home, if it's OK if you end up staying out later than you thought you would, and how much notice she's going to need if you do.

This is by no means an all-inclusive list of everything your babysitter might want to know, and not everything I've provided may be useful to you and your family. If you take the time to think about your kids, your house, and what items are likely to apply to your particular situation, you should have no trouble coming up with your own personal list of Essential Babysitter Information.

No one knows your kids better than you, so take some time to think about what you would like the person caring for your children while you're gone to know. Whether you only call her for a night out a few times a year, or you set up a weekly babysitting job, your babysitter and your kids can develop a fun and trusting relationship with each other; it just takes time. By giving her the information she needs to be successful with you and your kids right off the bat, you can help get that relationship off on a smooth start.