In-Laws and How Their Meddling Causes Problems

No one is going to dispute the fact that overly-caring parents and in-laws would cause married couples problems. The only thing in question is how troublesome things are going to be. I am fortunate enough to have parents that have respected the fact that I am not a child anymore and that I have my own life to live. They have never meddled in my marriage. Come to think of it, my mother and I are getting along better now than we ever did when I was still single. Both she and my Dad listen to me share my rants every now and then and would offer helpful advice. They listen more and have stopped nagging.

But it's the exact opposite with my in-laws. My husband is an only son and his mother acts as if he were still a boy. I was young, naive and in love: bad combination. I should I have made it clear from the very beginning that we live in a separate house. But I didn't even think about it then. My husband told me we were to live with my in-laws in the beginning and I just simply agreed. I mean, how bad can it be, right? I was optimistic about the future and was very happy. I am with the one I love and together we can face and conquer anything. Reality check: not exactly everything. Particularly not his parents meddlesome attitude.

I spent three years of the marriage having a difficult time coping and understanding why I must do things the way my mother-in-law does them. I mean, there is more than one way to skin a cat, but unless I do it her way, I'm not doing it right. Sigh.

My in-laws think that it is their duty to comment on each and every little thing that I do. Negative or not, it isn't warranted. I don't know how their mind works but since I'm not them, I won't ever see things the way they do. It used to drive me nuts to say the very least. Rationalizing didn't help either. I tried being in their shoes and they still didn't make sense. Looking back, I think I might have underestimated the cultural differences.

Whatever their motives, parents' constant meddling would not help in any way. It only causes resentment and much unhappiness on the receiving end of the meddling behavior. I still wonder if they ever feel the need to look at things from a perspective other than their own. If they ever realize how stifling it is to have your every move monitored. It's like being tipped on the scales and constantly being found wanting.

Now we live in a place of our own. This didn't change their meddling ways but it has at least save me the frustration and stress of having to deal with them on a daily basis. Meddling in-laws are a bane to marriage bliss. It is better to keep one's distance. I do things my way now. Thank goodness for that.