Inner Healing for Dummies: Finding Mental and Emotional Wholeness

I am not a trained psychologist or counselor. I have had some therapy, though, and I've learned that a lot of the process I went through makes a lot of sense, and I believe it can help others in their journey of finding healing for those mental and emotional wounds.

Jesus says the truth will set us free...

I have found that sometimes in my life, I get in these situations where I have internal issues. I feel inadequate, or I get depressed, or I find myself reacting to everything in anger, lashing out at those I love... or even wrestling with extreme fear or worry issues. Sometimes I find myself dealing with addictive behaviors.

These issues are surface issues. If the problem is a tree, each of these things are leaves and branches, and they reach down to a trunk and a root. Often we deal with some of these internal issues be treating them with medication, which I am not against. Sometimes people need medication to control the symptoms until they can deal with the problems. But I am a firm believer that most mental illness (which we all go through from time to time) comes from root issues.

For example... Let's say John is wrestling with an alcohol addiction. Certainly, we can't throw away John's choices to drink too much as part of the problem. But most of the time, John has an uncontrollable urge to drink. He wants to drown his problems away. He feels HORRIBLE inside, and he wants to feel better.

Rather than look at the alcohol problem as the most important thing in his life, maybe the real question is "What does John feel bad all the time?" He can try to modify his behavior, and stop going to the bar. But he will still feel bad, and he'll probably find another vice to fill the void.

When I find myself in these situations, I try to ask a few questions:

1. When is the first time I remember feeling this way?

- It's good to journal your experience, and try to remember in detail the first time you remember feeling that anger, fear, or grief.

- For example, John looks back on the first time he remembers feeling alone. He remembers that he missed his bus when he was in grade school. He was very afraid while he say and waited for someone to get him. When his dad came to pick him up, instead of comforting his fear, dad criticized him.

2. What lie did I believe about myself or the world around me as a result of that experience?

- John started to believe that he was worthless, and that he was more of an inconvenience than an important part of his family.

3. What is the truth in the situation?

- John's dad did love him. He was not perfect, but he did love his son. And John is not worthless, he's valuable, and important to the people around him.

4. Did John make any VOWS that need to be broken?

- John vowed that he would NEVER let anybody down again. He hated that feeling when his dad had to come get him. So he made a vow. The problem is, no one can keep a vow like that. So everytime he lets someone down, he is breaking a vow.

- John needs to take the time to BREAK that vow, and come to a more realistic understanding of himself.