Insane Mothers! The Type of Moms That I Never Want to Be...

I work with a lot of children. As an academic coach, and former childcare assistant, I've worked with a diverse demographic of children from ages five to eighteen. As a college level tutor, I've seen undergrad and grad students as well. Because of this, I also have met a vast number of parents, primarily mothers. I've come to realize that these mothers have widely varying parenting styles. I've also come to realize that I admire some of these mothers for how they have raised or are currently raising their children; in others, I pray that if I ever have children, that I'm not like them. I've therefore compiled a list of of the qualities found in mothers that I sometimes find myself hoping I don't become.

The Mothers I Don't Want to Be:

The Child Worshipper

This mom is her child's biggest fan, but not in a good way. Like an underage groupie at a KISS concert, this mom worships her children and the ground they walk on. She believes her son Johnny, a mediocre football player whose primary responsibility is warming the bench, is going to be a pro athlete one day. Not only does she believe it, she forces everyone around her to hear how "remarkable" he is. According to her, all the girls adore Johnny and can't get enough of him, which is strange since you have heard several girls gossiping about how irritating. You can recognize this mom from these symptoms:

1) Belittles any other child or person who might overshadow her own offspring.

2) Exaggerates child's accomplishments.

3) Refuses to recognize possible weaknesses in child; the child - according to her - is good at everything.

• 4) Main conversation revolves around child; people's eyes will start to wander as they lose interest, but this mom is too dense to recognize it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for mothers praising their children and recognizing their accomplishments. What I don't approve of - and what drives people crazy - is a mother who talks incessantly of her child, how amazing he/she is, and in the process is demeaning to other children she presumes to be a "threat" or "competition" to her own child.

What people wish they could say to her: Stop talking about your child all the time; most people don't care.

The Busy Bee

This mom wants her child to be happy and successful and will stop at nothing to see it happen, even if it means sticking her nose where it doesn't belong and acting unethically. There is no limit to how low she will stoop. Early on, she will do the child's homework for him or her so that he/she won't get bad grades. If a child has a disagreement with a friend, she will speak to that friend on her child's behalf, even if the child is sixteen and would prefer to handle it themselves. Even as the child matures and enters into the college world, she will continue to hover to make sure they are doing things "correctly." You can recognize this mom from these symptoms:

1) Even if her child is old enough to speak for themselves, she will continue to speak for them in conversation. Questions directed to child or young adult will be answered instead by the mother.

2) Will redo child's work or interfere frequently to make sure they are doing it right.

3) Makes decisions for the child or young adult and takes offense if child wishes to decide for himself.

While it's great to have an involved mother, there's such a thing as being too involved. Children need to learn to think critically and make their own decisions, but that can't be accomplished if they are never taught this skill and decisions, regardless of how small, are always made for them.

What people wish they could say to her: Let your child think for herself!

The Mental Patient

This mom considers her child to be a full-time therapist. She talks to her child about subjects mature in content and expects child to offer suggestions on how to "fix" things. In this case, the mother and child seemingly switch places and the child takes on a mothering role. The mother will reveal things to her offspring that should not be known to them (i.e., why it is their father's fault that they got a divorce, why she can't meet guys, etc.) You can recognize this mom from these symptoms:

1) Is juvenile in behavior.

2) May not have any mature friends.

3) Treats child as a best friend instead of as a child in need of a mother.

It's fine if you want to have a close relationship with your child, but there needs to be boundaries. Your eleven year old child should not have to fulfill the role of a psychologist and it is not his/her responsibility to fix your problems.

What people wish they could say to her: Stop relying on your child to fix the messes you got yourself into.

The Over Dependent

This mom depends on her children far too much. Instead of relying on her spouse (or a friend, if she is a single mother) she expects her children to drop their other commitments and help her in a moment's notice. Many times, she "needs" her children to help her in the most simple, mundane tasks. Some of the tasks she sets of them are downright ridiculous to the sane person. I've personally seen one mother sitting on the couch, watching TV, yell loudly for her daughter that she needed her. When her daughter came in from the other room, it turned out the "duty" she needed her to perform was that the mother was thirsty and her water glass was on the coffee table and therefore out of reach. This mother was not sick or ailing in any way, she simply felt that her daughter should be the one to take care of it. You can recognize this type of mom from these symptoms:

1) Forces child to fulfill role that is not theirs.

2) Acts hurt and takes it personally if child is not available to take care of them.

3) Feels scared and afraid much of the time and is over-cautious.

There is nothing inappropriate with expecting your child to help you. With that said, it's important not to get carried away.

What people wish they could say to her: Be more independent and stop expecting your child to "guard" you.

The Overwhelming Protector

This mom worries constantly and will do anything to prevent her child from getting hurt, both physically and mentally. She may not allow her children to participate in sports. She may not allow them to partake in activities she deems as "dangerous" such as climbing trees, riding a bike, or playing on the monkey bars at a park. She may also forbid activities like sleepovers or may pull her child out of school on a whim to "protect" them. Even when a child is mature enough and wants to experience a wider variety of activities, most things are off limits for this mom. You can recognize this type of mom from these symptoms:

1) Overreacts when a child is hurt. (A mild scrape causes near panic.)

2) Constantly frets over what child might do

3) Always worrying about what "might happen."

It is only natural that mothers should want to protect their children, but sometimes they go a little haywire. If you won't allow your child to walk to the mailbox and he or she is sixteen years old, you might be qualify as being a tad overprotective.

What people wish they could say to her: Give your poor kid some time away from your incessant worrying!

As you may have noticed, most of these annoying traits are actually good qualities run amok. It just goes to show that too much of anything is not a good thing.