Insanity Beckons Me

I gave you the poems four months ago,
and you gave me lies.
I gave you the letter two months ago,
and you tried to hide.
You never truly acknowledged
the words I've tried to say.
But you tease me and torment me
with this game you play.

Why did my dreams and visions
lead me straight to you?
Why they led me to this dead-end,
I haven't got a clue.
I followed where they led --
and my life was going well.
But all of it drew me straight to you --
then it all went straight to hell.

Were the dreams and visions wrong?
you're the one I was sent to find.
Yet everything is showing me
I must leave you behind.
No more can I handle;
no more can I take.
I realize telling you anything
was just a big mistake.

I can't figure out the purpose;
is there a lesson I'm to learn?
Were you just another step,
leading me to the next turn?
What's supposed to happen next?
do I leave or stay?
Am I supposed to keep holding on,
when you keep pushing me away?

So far, you've had two chances,
to step up and take what's yours.
I'm growing weary of the waiting --
and, still, I am unsure.
I try my best to forget you;
to think of other things.
Then suddenly you walk through the door,
and my heart begins to sing.

Logic says I should walk away,
while I still can say I'm sane.
But logic flies away from me,
the moment you speak my name.
I push the thoughts of you aside
and let logic take its claim.
Then I pass you on the road,
and my heart's back in the game.

You remind me of those male strippers,
tempting the women, for that rush.
Always teasing, but never pleasing --
staying just beyond their touch.
Enjoying the boost to their male pride,
but it's just a fantasy.
Knowing someone else will get them off,
and take care of that need.

You play up the fantasy,
boosting your own pride.
But, when faced with the reality,
you run away and hide.
You act as if one touch from me
would tear your world apart.
Yet, when I speak of another man,
you act as if it breaks your heart.

I live to see your smile --
I get lost in your eyes.
Seeing you walk through that door
fills me up with butterflies.
Now, I'm torn in two,
for I know that I should flee.
But everything in me wants to stay --
insanity beckons me.