Inside the Heart by Rosanne Catalano

Sprinting onto the schoolyard for recess, I spotted a girl with curly, brown hair sitting alone; she looked sad. So I wondered why, walked over to where she was on the swings and plopped down opposite her. Smiling, I said "Hi, my name's Rosanne. What's your's?"

"Yvonne." She replied. "Thanks. Nobody else is sitting next to me..."

It was the beginning of a friendship we both cherished throughout that school year. Unfortunately, and heartbreakingly, it was a short-lived one. But not due to anything either Yvonne or I did to ruin it.

My best friend and I were from different backgrounds...

I was the daughter of middle-class parents living in a rich neighborhood in Long Island. Yvonne was the daughter of a poor single mom who was a live-in maid for one of our neighbors. Yvonne and her mom shared their attached quarters with the homeowners, who lived about a block or two from my parents. Every time I went over to Yvonne's house, I was told by the homeowners "Go around back."

'Why are Yvonne and her mom living in the back of their house?' my innocent mind questioned. I did not understand why our neighbors would not let me in their front door.

So I would go around back and when Yvonne answered her front door, with a big smile on her face, I would forget my confusion at the homeowners attitude because I was eager to hang out with my best-friend, my first one. I had never had a best friend before except for my sister, who is family. Although Yvonne and I were not in any of the same classes, we got together after school by either going to her house or she coming to mine.

One day while we were at her house playing with our Barbie and Ken dolls in Yvonne's bedroom, she suddenly looked up at me and said, "Roe, I'm surprised you're hanging with me ... and you like me..."

I asked her why she would say that! Her response was, "because I'm black ... you're white and..."

I had not even thought about the fact my best friend had different colored skin than I; I did not care. So I replied, "yep I know you're black and I'm white ... but I don't see the color of your skin, I see what's inside your heart and that you're my best friend. I don't care what other people say about us being friends and never have. I hope you don't either ... can we play with Barbie and Ken now?"

"Okay." Yvonne replied. "But..."

She continued moving her Ken doll around, looked up at me again then said, "but I have to tell you ... don't get me wrong when I say this ... but you're color blind even though you're my best friend. Haven't you noticed the way others in the neighborhood look at us when we're walking on the street? I'm not talking about at school - I know you've noticed the other kids' strange looks and don't care - I'm talking in this neighborhood..."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked, puzzled.

"Uh ... my mom has been talking to me ... her employers have been getting grief from the neighbors ... because they see a little white girl ... you ... going in the back door of this house and they disapprove strongly. So ... I was trying to discourage us from being friends except in school. I'm so sorry these people feel this way ... my mom and I don't feel the same but..."

I was so hurt by what she was telling me. However I knew it was not meant in a bad way, and that Yvonne still wanted to be my friend at school. But I began to grow angry at the neighbors; that they were so judgmental for what I thought was no good reason. Still, I told Yvonne, "It's okay. I think I understand ... I'm going home now, but I'll see you in school."

"You'll definitely see me in school ..." Yvonne said, as she got up and hugged me. "Friends forever. I promise."

"That is a promise." I told her as we began walking toward her front door. We said goodbye and we'd see one another at school the next day.

The next day she was not in school, nor the day after that. So I became very worried and went to her house after school one day.

The homeowner answered my ring with an annoyed look and said curtly, "Yvonne and her mother have moved."

I asked her where they moved to, and she said, "I don't know. Rasheda said she and her daughter had to leave immediately. So they packed up their belongings and left - not even taking their furniture!"

Strangely, I got a bad feeling this homeowner was lying to me. Now I was even more confused. But what could I do? I was only 9 years old and knew there was a lot about life I didn't understand yet.

Then a thought occurred to me, 'Maybe Yvonne and her mom just moved out of the house because her mom got another job in the same school district, and I'll still be able to see my friend in school?!? Yep, that had to be what happened - her mom got a different housekeeping job but stayed in our district so Yvonne can finish the school year! This makes more sense. So I'll just see her at school instead of hanging out with her at her house...'

Each day I went to school hoping to see Yvonne's beautiful face again, but I did not.

One day a girl in my neighborhood, whom I knew a little because she rode the same school bus as me, told me what I came to believe was truer than what the homeowner had said -- and that was that Yvonne's mom had been fired from her job as maid to those homeowners because the other rich people in our neighborhood didn't like a white girl hanging with a black girl because they thought it looked bad for the entire community. Could I believe the girl on my school bus? I wasn't sure. But I knew one thing, and that is that I now could only see the ugly face of racism on those that would deny the friendship of two innocent little girls who were best friends.

My best friend and her mom had moved away, yet Yvonne has never left my heart.

copyright (c.) 2008 Rosanne Catalano.