Inside the Mind of a Murderer

The life of a writer normally includes some sort of day job, at least in the beginning of a writing career. For some, its restaurant work, waiting tables or washing dishes. For others, it may mean a factory, a grocery store, a gas station or some other menial and most likely, physical job. But for me, that would have been a little too tedious and boring. I've always opted to live on the edge and so it was only natural for me to look for a job on the edge...a prison.

Now many would never consider a prison because they feel it is a dangerous environment and they would be right, it is. But, for a writer, a prison is something more. It is an enormous world of inspiration. Drama surrounds you daily. Intrigue, mystery and suspense abound. Everyday is unique, bringing with it fear, surprise and more ideas for books and movies than one could write in a lifetime.

Not only does this environment inspire me, but it adds a depth of reality that only one on one contact with the dark side of society can do. My close contact with this sector gives me the opportunity to delve into the unknown...into the minds of killers, rapists and other criminals.

Just the other day, I was working with an inmate who killed two people in cold blood. One, he killed after he robbed her and the other, he raped before he took her life. We talked for four hours. This man has two life sentences and has already been locked up for over twenty-five years. He has nothing but time, so he does not mind answering my hundreds of sometimes morbid questions. Just meeting him caused my curious mind to start spewing forth questions at such a rate I had to take a break and write some of them down. The following is a few minutes of the talk I had with this murderer and an example of just another day performing my day job.

Why did you kill the first woman? "I needed money. I took it, then I was afraid she'd tell."

How did you kill her?"I shot her in the head."

Did you shoot her as you were leaving the scene?"No, I took the money from her purse that she handed me. I put the money in my pocket, then pulled out my gun."

What did you do next?" I held her hands behind her back with my one hand. She was kind of small. She cried, so I kissed her. I thought it would make her feel better. Then I sat the put the gun to her head and pulled the trigger."

Was that the first time you ever killed anyone?"Yes, I'd never hurt anyone before that." What did you feel after you pulled the trigger?"Incredible...I felt powerful...and excited!"

Excited?"Yes, like sexually aroused."

When did you kill your second victim?"About two hours later. I was so aroused I thought about masturbating, but I wanted a woman. I called this girl I used to date, but she hung up on me. I went to a grocery store parking lot and sat there in my car watching people for a while."

Didn't people look at you suspiciously since you were just hanging out in the parking lot?"No, I looked like someone's husband waiting for his wife. Anyway, a lady came out and was pushing a shopping cart toward me. I was parked in the far corner of the lot. There was one other car parked next to me and that was her car. I got out and helped her load her groceries. I grabbed her, threw her in my car and sped off. She tried to escape until she saw my gun. Then she just cooperated. I took her to some woods. I had sex with her twice. The second time took a while. I had my gun lying on the ground right above her head. When I was ready to climax, I grabbed my gun and shot her. It was so intense."

What did you feel then? "Satisfied..."

I must admit that I felt completely unnerved after talking to this man. His account reflects the level of sickness from which he suffers, but you can believe that the next murderer in one of my stories will have an added chilling dimension of reality that only someone with my day job could recreate.