Insight into the Stereotypical Behaviour of Women in the Victorian Era

In nineteenth century England, girls of the upper and middle classes were raised for the purpose of one goal: to marry. Marriage at the time was often viewed as a business prospect. Women brought dowries and household labour to the table, while the men naturally provided financial security. The ladies largely outnumbered the men, and those who could not win a husband had very few respectable ways of supporting themselves. For this reason girls were trained to be desirable to a society of men who saw women as high priestess of the home, "with her piety, forbearance, and kindliness of love." A wife was to be the manager of the home and the amusement for the gentlemen. They were not encouraged to be intellectual, or even thoughtful. They were encouraged to be ornamental.

Although Victorian girls of the upper classes were indeed educated, the subjects they were taught reflected the societal view. Girls learned to sing, play the piano, and dance. They were taught etiquette and French, poetry and painting, and, of course, the ever-present needlework. A good marriage prospect also became skilled in all aspects of keeping house and fully understood the duties of a wife.

Once a girl was fully educated in this manner, she was able to enter society to search for her future husband. This was called "coming out" and frequently occurred during the London Season: the time of year, lasting several months, when the nobility left their country homes to attend the whirlwind of balls, exhibitions, parties, and other festivities in London. During the first few years after coming out, a girl was attached to her mother. She made calls with her mother, used her mother's visiting cards, and was carefully chaperoned, usually by her mother, until her engagement. If a girl's mother had died, the mother's duties would fall to another older female relative, such as an aunt.

Appearance and desirability were much more important than any other qualities a lady could possess. A writer for a Victorian column, Facts from Fashion Land, wrote: "[T]his is a world in which people generally judge by appearances, and are right nine times out of ten so to do, much more consideration falls to the lot of her who looks to be a 'somebody,' than to her excellent but dowdy sister." Appearance was the constant rule, which led to many strange conclusions and inventions. For example, it was claimed that all forms of excess, including exercise, were injurious to a woman's complexion. There was a fashion for young women to hold their lips lightly apart, for a wandering, wistful expression. There was even a surgical procedure for creating dimples in the cheeks of those unfortunate souls who were not blessed with the "angel's kiss."

It is no wonder, then, with such superficial accomplishments, that the girls should themselves seem shallow. A woman's life consisted of social engagements, household management, child rearing (though this was often carried out by nurses and governesses), and religion. She was expected to be domestic, unworldly, innocent, and helpless; she was dubbed the "angel in the house." These angel wives lived up to the expectations and became passive, un-intellectual dolls that should be amused and caressed, but never looked up to.

The shallowness of Victorian women, however, may itself have been solely for appearances. It was considered bad form for women to talk deeply, sensibly, or earnestly. In a Victorian article called The Weakness of Women, the author said, "The consequence is that we are obliged to be frivolous, and for fear of any reproach of strong-mindedness, are compelled to hide our deeper, stronger, and, I daresay, better feelings." This begs the question of whether the ideal Victorian lady actually existed, or if she shut herself up in a box in order to appear to be the ideal. Living in the era of the feminist movement, it is hard to imagine women conforming in such a way. But in Victorian England, the simple truth was girls wanted, and needed, husbands, and with 600,000 more females than males, competition could be rough. To win a husband, a girl had to be what the gentlemen wanted. And the gentlemen did not want thinking, independent creatures. They wanted pretty, perfect things that could run the home and bear their children.

Source of all quotes:

Eley, Geoffrey. The Ruined Maid: Modes and manners of Victorian Women. Hertfordshire: The Priory Press. 1970.