Insights from a Metro and MARC Train Commuter in Washington, DC

Riding the Metro and MARC train can be a frustrating and challenging experience. The author has attempted to make some sense of it all in this series of classic commuter tales.

Late Trains - the Commuters Nightmare

Many things are forgivable of Metro bus drivers. We forgive hard bumps. We forgive jerky stops. We forgive missed streets and fast turns. We even forgive them when they are late. But there is an unforgivable sin. Not forgiven in this life or the next is arriving and leaving early.

The bus that arrives and leaves early is food for cussing and swearing and all sorts of behavior that your normal, steadfast bus rider would never display. Being early on a morning run is particularly unforgivable. Some of us need that last two minutes just to get to the stop.

One friend had a Metro bus leave early two days in a row, leaving her as she was running to catch it. This businesswoman, wife, mother, logical and courteous human being, stomped her foot and displayed the best temper tantrum I've ever witnessed in an adult. "Look at me," she said, "I'm so angry I have tears in my eyes. This is twice he's done this to me! Two days in a row I'm left as I'm running for the bus. I'm going to call Metro, this is unforgivable.!" (See, didn't I say just that word?)
She carried on for a couple more minutes, until reason and rational thinking once again took over and she was able to regain her calm. I don't know that she did anything about it, but we don't have that bus driver any more.

Commuter Relationships

Some people feel out of place on a Metro bus. I don't think it's anything we do or don't do that makes them feel ill at ease, but it's as if royalty were traveling the train and felt very uncomfortable with the peasants. Every so often you see them. They sit very primly, eyes glancing sideways in a "What have I gotten myself into?" look. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with wealth or elegance. We have some very elegantly put together Metro riders who seem quite comfortable and fit in well with the rest of us. It's more of an attitude.

I don't know how to help them. I feel sorry for people who are uncomfortable around others. So I leave them alone. I do wonder about them, are they in therapy to get over a phobia - you know, like the people who can't leave their homes, or claustrophobics who can't handle elevators? Maybe these are people who are afraid of crowds or of the Metro itself. Perhaps we should speak to them with a bit of kindness so they can see we're really not so scary. Heh Heh Heh. Ok, maybe not.

Hats on, Hats off

Hats off to Metro riders. Or rather, hats on. Winter chill factors bring out the most astounding array of head coverings. You see every kind of chapeau from teeny little boxes that couldn't possibly keep the cold out of anything, to huge wrap around scarves that encircle the head several times and then tuck down into the coat for securing. Lots of men seem to be favoring the hats I associate with golfers, the Big Apple or 8 quarter caps. I was told that these hats are wider than normal and stay on better in wind as well as shield eyes from the sun. Impressive.

I've seen big fuzzy Russian hats, fake fur edged hats, real fur caps, pilot hats with the tie up or down ear protectors, tam o'shanters, fuzzy ear muffs - some shaped like animals - very elegant ladies' hats attached to wrap around scarves for "total head protection" and fuzzy knitted granny bonnets.

Knits seems to be favored by a large percentage of Metro riders. Knitted scarves and knitted caps are inexpensive, travel well, squash nicely into purses or briefcases, and create no great mental stress if lost. We Metro veterans graciously accept the loss of a cap or scarf unless it happens to be a pure Scottish wool Urquehart plaid (ancient pattern) scarf like the one I lost one day on the bus. I loved that scarf, and still miss it. The bus driver cruelly swears he's seen it being worn by an unsavory looking person who doesn't take care of it.

The Nose Knows

Noses are fascinating. I watched peoples' noses today on the train. It's not easy to be a nose voyeur and not get caught at it - staring I mean. It was amazing. Some noses are little and stubby; you wonder if they have to breathe through their mouths to get enough air. Others are huge. One I saw today that resembled a wind tunnel. One inhale, and there goes...never mind.
Some are all shiny, some are matte, some are perky - you know, cute. Some are long and thin, others have obviously spent much time "under the influence."

Some people's noses proclaim their nationality or ethnic background. I checked my nose out in the window while we were underground. It looks like a ski slope, long and thin with a "whoosh" on the end. Nose watching is an interesting way to pass a Metro morning.

I saw no one without a nose. In that we were all united. "Noses of the world, unite!" What a disgusting thought.

How to Handle a Bomb Threat at Work
Bombs? Do we worry about bombs, we D.C. area bus and train riders? Sure we do. Everyone who works in the Metro area has been concerned about security against terrorism since 9-11. A friend showed us a briefing paper from her building about what to do in case of a bomb threat. (The extra comments are mine.)

"Upon receiving a bomb threat by telephone, remain calm, (who me, get upset?) Keep the person talking, and try to ascertain the following:

- The time that the bomb will explode (answers to this one determine if I will stay on the line and ask the rest of these questions.)

- The location of the bomb. (Ok, I'll go out the other door.)

- The type of bomb. (Great from the bomb disposal guy's point of view, but I'd have to take notes - "Did you say it had three sticks of dynamite, or was that plastic explosive? - say again please, I missed the type of detonator.")

- The reason for placing the bomb. (Now sir, why was that you said you put a bomb in our basement?)

- A description of the bomb (Is it bigger than a breadbox?)

- The age and sex of the caller. (I can't see myself even asking.)

- The name of the caller (And who shall I say called?)

- Any vocal qualities, such as accents (Thanks for calling, are you from around here?)

If you receive a bomb threat during normal working hours Iimmediately (who would wait around?) call the property manager, and the police. (In that order?) Should you receive a bomb threat after hours, call our emergency answering service - Leave your company's name, your name, the time of the call and any information you've obtained from the caller. - ("Please leave your name and a brief message at the sound of the tone." "I'm sorry to bother you, but we've had a bomb threat here...")
They then tell us how to evacuate the building, two by two down the stairs - with no talking, please. I don't know what we're to do if the bomb is planted in the stairwell. The last sentence is a good one. "Remember, if you receive a bomb threat, it must be reported immediately, no matter how insignificant it may seem." (Are there insignificant bombs? Give me a break.)

The truth of the matter is that terrorist bomb threats are very real and we are all more vigilant at work and on the Metro and MARC trains than we were in our innocence before 9-11.