Insomnia: How I Make Use of my Inability to Sleep

I have insomnia. Of course this is self-diagnosed, but what condition isn't these days? Honestly, I don't mind not sleeping. It gives me a chance to think and write and dream. Yes, dream. Dreams don't come only in sleep. Some of the best dreams come after you haven't slept for three days, when you're literally a walking zombie. A friend will walk up to you and start a conversation, ask how you're doing, say you look tired, maybe even share a tidbit of gossip. And then they're gone. In fact, they were never there. But they were there.... they were standing right there! Sometimes dreams feel more real than reality.

Back to my insomnia. It is a bit of an annoyance. I have a roommate and it's a disturbance to her when I sit up at all hours of the night typing on my computer. I'm not rude. I don't have the light on or any music and I don't watch loud violent movies into the night. But I am a rather loud and fast typer. And I can type for hours when the mood strikes me so.

Night time is really when I write best. That's actually quite an inconvenience and perhaps a reason I have insomnia. Just as I'm drifting off to sleep, a great idea will come to me. As any writer can tell you, the mind works very well right before sleep, when you're too tired to limit or repress what comes to mind. And as any writer will tell you.... if you go to sleep without writing down these thoughts... they disappear by morning. So, I rise, despite my exhaustion and pull out my laptop or a scrap of paper and start to write. Unfortunately, once I get started, I rarely stop unless absolutely necessary. I've been known to miss two days worth of meals and not visit the bathroom for hours and hours on end.

But, that's what writings about. For me, it doensn't matter that I don't sleep or don't eat. My insomnia keeps me up so I write. Or is it that my writing keeps me up so I have insomnia?

Which came first? The chicken or the egg?