Intentions Instead of Affirmations

When people talk about thinking positive thoughts and using affirmations the words "fake it till you make it" are often used. At times that works and there are times when it sometimes seems to fall short. For some people, when they think about things like, "fake it till you make it" can be a huge stumbling block that is not easily overcome.

What can one do when one says, "I like myself" and then can only helplessly roll one's eyes and laugh? When one is so convinced that there is no way the affirmation could be true that trying to use an affirmation causes more pain, (like fingernails on a chalkboard) and an instantaneous hatred spews forth, using intention statements may be helpful.

No matter how many times the words, "I am a slim, healthy, 138 pounds" are used: to some people that's not something they really can buy into. Months later that same fingernails on a chalkboard feeling may still be there.

If this is happening to you, it may be helpful to choose to alter the words to something that is more true for you. It can also help if they are more action oriented, something that is a step forward but not so big of a step that believing it becomes a problem.

An intention statement is a statement that talks about what one wants to do, or intend to do. It can have a goal for the day or a goal farther away. One is trying to shift thoughts to a different place.

Today I am going to work on becoming more healthy.

I would like to weigh 138 pounds.

I am more healthy today than I was yesterday.

I want to walk around the block today.

Instead of saying, "I like myself" and immediately saying something like, "Yeah right, I am so full of it" or becoming more frustrated that the whole affirmation thing isn't working for you, try using intention statements:

I want to like myself

I am able to accept myself more today than yesterday.

I can work on becoming someone that I like better.

I want to enjoy being who I am

The goal is to try to get one's mind to see possibilities. To help it move on enough to where some forward thinking motion can happen. It is uncomfortable when one is stuck and unable to move on.

Another option may be to carefully use humor. One person stated they said a few things that were positive and then added the words like they are/were used in the Saturday Night Live sketches, "and gosh darn it I like myself." This not only helped her accept the words being said, but the humor and positive thoughts that the memory brought up helped her mood improve.