Intercultural Relationships: Moving Overseas for Love

Five years ago, I moved overseas to Peru to be with the man I love. I knew that being in an intercultural relationship wouldn't always be easy, and that living in a different culture would be a challenge. If you're thinking of moving overseas for love, here are some tips to being happy and successful in your new life.

Moving Overseas for Love - Communication

When I moved overseas, it was difficult for me to integrate into my new home country because I didn't speak the language well. I knew some Spanish, but not enough to feel comfortable on my own. Because of that, I was often isolated in my home, and my partner was left saddled with a lot of household responsibilities that I couldn't handle. It took more than a year before I was comfortable enough with Spanish to get out and do things on my own. I advise anyone moving overseas to study the language of their new country, and become as fluent as possible. The faster you can integrate, the better it will be for you and for your relationship.

Moving Overseas for Love - Suspicion

Because I came from a wealthier nation, my husband's family was very suspicious of me. They weren't sure what it was that I was getting out of this. Additionally, your relationship will bring changes in your partner's way of thinking and doing things - and his family may not always appreciate the changes! Break through this barrier by doing things to fit in with your partner's family - share birthdays and holidays, go shopping with his mother, anything that shows you want to belong with them. And remember that people love to give advice, so use that to your advantage in building relationships - ask for advice and let them know you're trying to fit in.

Moving Overseas for Love - Isolation

It is difficult to adjust to living in a place where everything is different from what you are used to. Fourth of July fireworks and Memorial Day cook-outs don't exist in other countries, and it can be very lonely sitting in your new home knowing that your friends 'back home' are having a great time without you. It's important that you start building new customs and traditions with your partner. Try combining traditions at Christmas, or other shared holidays. Also, most countries have an expat community of some sort - look for other people from your home country to get together with and chat. I volunteered to moderate an expat forum, and those contacts have helped me keep from feeling isolated. And don't forget - let your partner know when you're feeling lonely or isolated; sometimes a night out together at a movie or dancing will be what it takes to lift your spirits.

Moving overseas for love is a risky move - it may not always work out the way you plan. Make sure you have a back up plan for moving back home if things fall apart. But if you are able to accept change and be flexible, intercultural relationships really can work. It takes perseverance and an adventurous attitude. Be willing to change, and don't expect others to change for you. Remember that communication with your partner is the key to success.