Internet Dating - My First Time

How many of us have said about Internet dating "I will never do that!" Well, I was one of them. We are constantly inundated with invitations to join E-Harmony or Match.com and promised we will find the mate of our dreams if we will just answer pages of questions compiled by licensed psychologists. The answers to these key questions are then magically transformed into a personality profile that can match us up with many potential mates, one of which is surely going to be the one we have been looking for all our lives.

Whatever happens, we are assured a degree of anonymity that will protect us from all the perverts, predators and psycho.'s out there who could be ready to pounce and commit horrible crimes against us. Don't get me wrong, I believe in exercising an intelligent amount of caution, but don't let fear spoil your fun. Be brave, have a go, give it a whirl. I am a new convert - it really is fun! You can use a nom de plume, create an alter ego and the world is your oyster.

There are several good free internet dating sites out there where you can experiment with no financial outlay, like www.Plentyoffish.com. Many of these sites are well designed and user friendly. The site www.peoplefishing.com even offers a free book entitled "Internet Dating - A Personal Survival Guide" when you sign up. According to some research, 49% of people today find that special someone online.Even if you do not want to meet that special someone, there are some interesting fellow human beings out there who just need to connect or want to make a new friend. When you move to a new area and do not know anyone it can be a great way to build a group of new friends and even business contacts. There are a lot of decent, well intentioned, but lonely people out there looking for a chance to share their hopes and dreams and get together without limiting themselves to the crap shoot of the bar scene.

Internet dating is kind of like having a pen-pals on speed! You can get Instant Messaging, see who is online now, who viewed your profile, who picked you as a favorite and who just joined that could be a possible new match for you. You can collect your own favorites and create a photo.gallery to enjoy revisiting. I even checked out the competition to see what they looked like and how they presented themselves. It is important to post at least one good recent photograph of yourself, preferably a smiling face and a tasteful, PG-13 type, full-length portrait for maximum response. Personally, I do not have time to check out those members who cannot be bothered to post a photograph or who think they are making a point by omitting one.

Some people are very creative with their photos, their headlines, and their "about me" and "looking for" content. For example, men: BadJedi, "I'll get you my Pretties", Barkingsnake "Hey Bob is that your keys?" LostSoul "Can you drive my getaway car?" GrowOldWithYou? "Not Yet, Let's Meet First", Single Dad seeks Distraction "stedy job, housebrokken, can't spel" , 1LostCowboy "I need help!!" And the women: SensualAlone "Looking for Companionship", KissieFace "Looking for Knight in Shining Armor", NeverTooMuchFun "Are you looking for me?".

Internet dating surfing is the new techno sport. It can be addicting. I am enjoying it immensely, and it keeps me away from the mindlessness of the tube. The real live interactive reality of Internet dating, rather than reality TV, can be the ultimate entertainment. You are the director, the actor and the audience. It is your show.
You could have a lot of fun, make a friend, and yes, maybe even meet that special someone!

For the people you are not attracted to and for those that become too needy or obnoxious, there is always the delete button, or the block user button. That may seem harsh, but, if you accumulate too many admirers, it can be confusing. If people send me nice messages, compliments or virtual gifts, I always reply and thank them, whether or not I am interested in further communication. It shows kindness and appreciation for the time they have taken to contact you, and if you are not interested, you can still find something nice to say about them, let them down gently and give them words of encouragement in your reply. You can make someone's day with a few kind words.

On a planet so big where the "net" has made it so small, it is amazing how lonely it can be. Sometimes the biggest cities can be the loneliest places. We have long ago lost most of our neighborhoods, our communities, and our extended families to the high tech, fast paced existence of the treadmill cycle of work and survival. When we get home from work or school, most of us eat, crash in front of the TV, and repeat it all over again the next day. But the human animal was created a herd creature, and meant to be part of a tribe. We need each other for so many different reasons, so sharing ideas and giving support are an important way to contribute to the human community as well as to our own well being, even if we have to resort to doing it through the Internet to begin with.

Of course, the idea is to finally connect in person somewhere neutral like Starbucks for a cup of coffee and a chat, or a walk on the beach where the beauty of nature can be relaxing and inspire an interesting conversation. There is no substitute for physical contact, but the Internet can be a really good introduction to that new friend, business contact or future soul mate.

Personally, I am totally new at this. I did minimal research and just went for it, sort of like going to a movie without reading the reviews. Within the first week of joining a popular Internet dating site, I have met many interesting people, and one special man with whom I am corresponding every day. It amazes me how much we have in common and what a joy it is to receive his e-mails and to send my replies to him. The sharing of ideas, interests and life history is a new voyage of discovery for both of us. Whatever the outcome of our connection, we are enjoying the process. Our next step is to talk on the telephone and then hopefully to meet in person. I have no expectations and I am enjoying the experience wherever it leads. At the very least, I may have made a new long-term friend.

Please feel free to contact me with feedback and any stories you would like to share...and, above all, have fun!