Internet Dating: I Found a Keeper and You Can Too

Finding yourself divorced and alone at 44 can be really depressing. I had always loved being married, being part of a couple, having that special someone to cuddle with, share secrets with, have sex with! The divorce was inevitable but a future as a single person was not going to be if I could change it.

I knew of some friends who had tried online dating services, so I decided to give it a try. I'm not usually an adventurous person, but I decided to take the plunge anyway. There are many online dating services out there today. Dating services for gays, dating services for catholics, for Mormons, dating services for people who love dogs. The list goes on and on. I chose the generic route and picked Match.com.

After completing my profile, which took a long time with all the "Oh, that doesn't sound right" editing I did, I finally was ready to submit it. Now to choose a picture. I hate pictures of myself and don't allow many taken. I don't think graying hair and a few wrinkles make good photography. I finally settled on one of those glamour shots that I had made in the mall.

Then came the hard part. I wondered how long it would take to get a letter from someone who was interested. It's reassuring to know that no one gets your personal information unless you give it to them. Most e-mail is handled through whatever service you sign with, and forwarded on to you. It didn't take long. It seems, Ladies, that there are more men out there looking than women. The first day I had several letters, a few of which were definite "no's" but a few looked promising. I exchanged letters, ruled out a few more from the correspondence we shared, and finally was ready to go out on the "dreaded blind dates."

The first man I decided to meet at a coffee shop. This was an ideal setting because you get to size up that person, talk to them a bit, but still not have to stay except for coffee. I agonized over what to wear, and after three or four times of going back in to change, I finally arrived at the restaurant. This man said he was 5'8", which was fine with me since I'm 5'5", but when I arrived, I found even in my flat shoes I towered over him. I guess he had exaggerated a bit. I wonder if he thought I'd not find out? I don't know what his reasoning was. Despite his "shortcomings" (excuse the pun), we had a very nice time chatting, and even though I left there not really interested, I was pleased my first experience was a pleasant one.

The next man I decided to go out with had not posted a picture. He said he didn't have one, which I understood given my camera shyness. When he arrived, he had long blonde hair down to his waist. I guess long hair on men is fine for some people, but I wasn't planning to be his next flower child.

The good news is the third time was a charm. He was a very nice gentleman who came to the coffee shop with roses (nice touch). He had lost his wife to breast cancer a few years before and now found himself as a single parent. He said he loved his wife and loved being married, and was looking for a serious relationship. We talked through coffee, then lunch, all afternoon, ordered dinner, and were still there when the restaurant decided to close.

To make a long story a bit shorter, we ended up married a year later. And he's definitely a keeper. You can find someone, too.
Just remember a few guidelines:

1) Don't give out your address or phone number to anyone you haven't had time to know well.
2) Meet in a public place and don't get into his car until you've had at least a few of these "public" dates. Meet him each time at the location.
3) Use caution. If it seems something just isn't right, follow your intuition and leave.
4) Be honest. If he is a nice guy but just not your type, say so. Don't give out fake numbers or false hope. No one deserves that.
Now go out there and find your Mr. Right!