Interview with a British Ex-Pat on Cultural Differences Between the UK and the USA

This is an interview that I did for a travel magazine in the UK but which was never published, and is based on my living in the USA for 15 years, from 1994 to 2009.

The interview highlights a number of the experiences of a British Ex-Patriot having moved to the USA, and there are far more cultural differences between the two countries than you would imagine.

It is definitely a lot more than just driving on the other side of the road. The differences between life in these two countries is vastly different, in both the social and work environments.

I can't say that everyone who moves to the USA will experience the same differences that I did, since each region of the USA has it's own peculiarities, with big city life being very different to that of Small Town USA, and living on the East Coast being different to living in the Midwest, Deep South or West Coast.

Did you notice any significant cultural differences in the American workplace (in terms of attitudes to work more than specifics such as the holiday entitlement)?

I have to admit that I was horribly stunned when I went to get my first job in the USA, in particular with the lack of vacation time that they give.

I was in a very unique position I think, in that I had gone there while still working for a software house that was based in London, but to deal with clients who were based in Central/South America and the Caribbean. Due to a loophole, the US Embassy in London agreed that it would be ok for me to be based in the USA, while working for a UK company, provided my clients were all outside the USA and that I was not paid in the USA. It's an unusual position to be in, and for 5 years I worked from home, being based in Indiana. I was paid in London still, and transferred money across to the USA every month. It was 2 years before I got my Green Card, so I didn't go through the usual channels.

Getting a job in the USA is very formalized compared with the UK from my experience. Once you have seen the departmental manager on your interview, it is then customary to sit with HR who explain the benefits etc.

In the UK, the management of the department that you are going to be working in plays the main role in the employment process, with Human Resources usually handling the paperwork such as contracts and payroll.

In the USA however, Human Resources plays a key role in the interview process, and in some companies a prospective employee cannot even get their resume submitted to the Departmental manager until Human Resources have processed and approved the application.

Human Resources in the USA acts as a "Big Brother" watching over employees, and the rules of employment are far stricter than in the UK from my experience.

There is a big feeling regarding lack of job security, particularly now with the recession, and different states have different policies with regard to employment contracts. In Florida, for example, a company is not required to provide an employee with a contract. Employees can be terminated at will, provided the reason is not illegal. Unlike the UK, where you are usually given and required to give a month or more notice when changing jobs, in the USA you can be notified that your position no longer exists, are required to pack up your things and straight out of the door. The company is required to only pay you compensation at their discretion.

Generally, the working day is very similar to that in the UK, however since the USA is far stricter (to my knowledge) with regard to things like sexual or racial harassment and other areas like this, people usually tone down the nature of their conversations in the work place.

Have you noticed that Americans have different etiquette and approaches to socializing (and what are the most popular haunts - as pubs tend to be in the UK)?

Having been in the USA for 15 years it's hard to remember some of the changes now, but I do know that on returning to the UK a lot of things have changed here.

People do or don't socialize after work about the same as here. It really depends on the company that you work for and where people live etc. Since like in the UK the drinking and driving laws are now much stricter, you don't see so many people drinking heavily after work on a regular basis.

The equivalent to the local Pub is the Neighborhood Bar. It's similar, except that the Pub traditionally used to be the social center of an area, whereas the main reason for going to the Neighborhood Bar is to drink heavily and to party.

Most if not all Bars and many restaurants have multiple televisions, since Americans are addicted to sports. It's not unusual to see more than a dozen televisions in a Sports Bar, showing maybe 3 or 4 different games. I suppose it's not that different to the UK these days, since a number of pubs show football games (soccer), and the concept of the American style Sports bar is becoming more popular.

When I moved over to the USA, the Beer situation was rather like in the early 70's in the UK, with just a few national breweries serving the whole country (Budweiser, Miller, Michelob) and mostly serving Lite Beer, which to us Brits just tastes like water. It's nasty when it's still cold, and worse once it gets warm. However, as happened in the UK, there are now many smaller breweries as well as local Brewpubs, that have a lot of decent beers, like Ales, Bitters, and Lagers, and although most "Rednecks" or Blue Collar workers still drink Budweiser, you will more often than not see people drinking "real beer". In the mid 90's it was uncommon to see much English beer over there, however as well as Guinness (which is the Dublin not London brewed variety), you can often now find various other English beers, including Newcastle Brown Ale on draught.

Is it easier to make close friends in the UK or US?

I did find at work in some companies that people often kept their personal lives to themselves, so you didn't really see a lot of friendships made outside of the work place. However in other companies the opposite was true.

With most people being hooked on or involved in sports, as well as many going to places like the gym etc, there are plenty of opportunities to make friends of all kinds.

One thing that I did notice is that in stores, walking down the road, or just standing at the bus stop, people in the USA are a lot more inclined to talk to you, even if it's just to pass the time of day or to say "Hello" as you pass in the street. On arriving back here and taking walks around the local area, almost everyone that you pass in the street averts their eyes from you and ignores you. It's very cold compared to what I have got used to, and I have every intention of passing the friendliness around if I can.

Since people are more open to starting a conversation with you in the USA, I would have to say that it is easier to make friends over there.

However... in the same way that most office discussions in the UK center around football, over there they center around American Football (both NFL and College), Basketball and Baseball. If you don't have an interest in these, it's harder to fit in.

What are the biggest differences between Americans and Brits in terms of their attitudes to life (are they healthier, more open-minded, bigger spenders, and so on)?

I am not sure whether it was my coming from a family that didn't like to throw money around or not, but I did notice that in the USA people tend to spend more, especially on sports.

There seem to be three types of people in the USA. Firstly, those who are on a health fad when it comes to food, avoiding all the additives (which are far more than Europe), eating and living healthy. Then there are those who work out regularly, either in the gym or participating in sports, but who eat and drink out a lot and eat unhealthily. Finally the majority of Americans, who do little exercise, spent too much time eating processed or fast food, which is full of fat, sodium and additives, and are often overweight.

The scary thing is that having always felt overweight in the UK, I felt more "normal" in the USA. Returning home I no longer feel overweight, since so many English people are now addicted to the wrong types of food.

Many people don't seem to worry so much about spending money, in fact when it comes to sports, it's totally different to the UK. A football game for example, is preceded by a tailgate party, traditionally where people park at the ground hours before a game, drop the tailgates of their pickup trucks, fire up the grill and drink. Over the years this has sometimes turned into seasoned tailgating, with parties of maybe 50 people traveling halfway across the country to meet up, could involve spending hundreds of dollars on airfares, hotels, car rentals, RV (Motor Home) rentals, plus alcohol, team clothing etc. Not to mention game tickets, which can alone cost hundreds of dollars for a top team.

Looking back, do you think you had to re-learn the way you did particular things in order to 'fit in'? (this could be an approach to work in order to get ahead; Americans may swear more than Brits and so you yourself could fall into the habit more in the US; and any other ways you noticed yourself 'change')

I did have to re-learn some things, and language in particular was one of them. Everyone knows that in the USA they say Elevator instead of Lift, and Hood instead of Bonnet for the car, but there are many other words that I came across that are not so obvious. For example the skirting board is baseboard, you walk on the sidewalk and drive on the pavement. Taps are called faucets too. You have to learn not to say anything every time you come across a mis-spelled word, or something else that is different over there. You need to remember it's the restroom not the loo. So many new words to learn.

One thing I found hard was that when people asked for my birthday, I had to think twice before saying 10 11 instead of 11 10. Even after 15 years I still had to stop and think before I said anything. Now of course I have to think carefully about the date back here in the UK, since 15 years is enough to condition you so that coming home you are always going to be partly a foreigner.

Swearing and prudity when it comes to nudity and language are huge differences in the USA compared to the UK. They have shows like Jerry Springer that are in bad taste, with lots of bad language and people occasionally taking their clothes off, but aside from cable TV stations like HBO, all bad words are bleeped or silenced on the television, and radio too. One of the worst words you can use over there is "shit". It's not a bad word here, but over there it's banned from both television and radio. Even songs like Pink Floyd's "Money" that has a line "don't give me that goody good bullshit" are changed to "bull" followed by a moment of silence. The slightest hint of a women's cleavage on television is often blurred out, as is a man's bottom crack. The whole Janet Jackson palaver at the Superbowl where she momentarily flashed a boob would be nothing over here, yet over there the case went on for months, resulting in massive fines for the television stations. Things like this took a great deal of getting used to.

What were the biggest differences you noticed between your life in America and the UK, and was life in New Zealand different again?

(I spent 9 months in New Zealand in 1987/88 a few years prior to moving to the USA)

Among the things that I noticed in the USA most is that people tend to eat out more often. It's cheaper than eating out here, and there are many restaurants to choose from. Many Americans prefer national chains to family owned 1-off restaurants, and of course every restaurant claims that their food is authentic. It doesn't matter whether it's Italian or Chinese, it's all authentic in their eyes, whereas most of the dishes you would never find over here. Food is by comparison with the UK very bland, however that should exclude Mexican food of course.

In New Zealand it was much more expensive to eat out. Of course I lived there between 1987/88 so a lot of things have changed I am sure, but the cost of living was a lot higher then than the UK. Taking the children to eat at McDonald's for example was a real treat in New Zealand. The population then was only 3 million, it's now 4 million I believe, due in many ways to the relaxing of the immigration laws. There are now far more Asians than there were back then.

Life in New Zealand for many people is an outdoor life. I loved the fact that depending on the weather, you could either go surfing on the west coast or sailing, fishing or scuba diving on the east coast. Brilliant for anyone who loves the outdoor life, New Zealand has something for everyone.

Sadly, although the USA has something for everyone and there is so much to see, I keep reverting back to the lack of time off for most people in the USA, resulting in their inability to explore the wonders of their own country, let alone others.

What advice would you give anyone expecting to fit seamlessly and quickly into life in America?

I would definitely recommend talking with other ex-patriots who have been and maybe come back. There is a lot of information on the Internet as well if you know where to look. I definitely wouldn't go there expecting things to be pretty much the same as in the UK.

Americans are staunchly patriotic, and believe that they are the best country in the world. Coming from England, where certainly years ago we were taught "Rule Britannia" and about the British Empire, you have to just accept their attitude if you are to get on. At least with Barack Obama as President the relationships between the USA and the rest of the world will hopefully improve, whereas for years before there was a certain arrogance that resulted (in my opinion) in the USA being disliked by other countries, aside from political issues.

There is also still some dislike of the English, dating back to Revolutionary times. It's hard to put your finger on it, but in some ways the English are less favored than the Scottish or Irish.

Do you think you were prepared as well as you could have been to make an easy transition into US life? How might you have prepared better?

In many ways I assumed that life in the USA was going to be very similar to that in England, with much of the population being from the UK originally. I was very surprised to find out that aside from the large Hispanic population, which comes from more than a dozen different countries, there are large numbers of people from most countries in Europe as well.

There are far more differences in the culture than you would ever imagine, in fact I have a pet theory that someone in America said "you know what, we are just going to be different to the rest of the world, and the rest of the world is just going to have to accept it!"

Driving on the other side of the road is common in many other countries, but the USA has a different voltage, different television system, and many other things we know about. But did you know that the radio station frequencies are odd 10ths of a MHz? They flick lights switches up not down to turn them on. You often have to turn keys the opposite way in a lock. There are just so many differences, it does make you wonder...

I think the language and the whole American culture really do take a lot of preparing for. You don't pick up on everything as a tourist. I am not sure how easy it would be to be better prepared. Maybe I ought to write a book!

Did you feel homesick more than you thought you would, and when did it hit you most in the first few years you were in America?

I did feel homesick, definitely. What I missed most in the early years were the silly things, like English beer (although I don't really drink much). I missed the country pubs with beer gardens by the canal. Pork pies, steak and kidney pies, Meat potatoes vegetables and gravy. Really the silly everyday things.

I found English stores over there and bought English foods (at a price!), but found I didn't really use them and they just sat in the larder. The same way as a bottle of Retsina doesn't taste the same when drunk at home as it does at a beach-side taverna in Greece, things like Marmite or Salad Cream just seem out of place in the USA.

I think it was the realization that some things are better int he USA than in England that really lowered the feelings of being homesick.

Things like Banks and Post Offices just having open counters with friendly staff, the ability to buy a really nice car with all the trimmings and to not worry about the price of petrol. Affording to eat out regularly, fewer traffic jams, the ease of parking everywhere... all these things helped me to integrate more into the society there and to appreciate all the good things that the USA does have to offer.

Of course the television news covers only politics, sports and scandals, little else in the USA. There is almost no world news, and that made me feel very homesick. I learned to rely on the Internet for my news, and of course now you can get most of the local newspapers from around the world on the Internet, so you never need to be out of touch with local events.

In what ways did you go about integrating into American life, and do you think you successfully fitted into American society?

I know some English people that moved to Florida, spent 3 years there, absolutely hated it, and moved back home. Nowhere will ever take the place of home, and there is no such place as paradise. Everywhere has it's good points as well as it's bad ones.

I think that I did integrate pretty well into the American society in the end, but it took close to 10 years I think for me to start to think more like an American and to not think like and Englishman.

Of course having returned home in mid summer, just before football season started in the USA, I was frustrated at missing some of the big College Football games. Fortunately though, the Internet yet again has come to my rescue, and I have been able to watch just about anything over here, one way or the other.

The main thing to be prepared for in my opinion is CHANGE.

Life in the USA is different, and if you expect to live there and do the same things as you did in the UK, you will be sadly disappointed.

If you want to survive and be happy in the USA, embrace the new lifestyle, and be prepared to enjoy new experiences. Only by being open minded and not letting those areas that don't seem to be as good as back home grind on you, will you have a wonderful time in the USA.

See Also:

Cultural Differences Between The UK And The USA

The UK Versus USA Culture Shock

How Secure Is Your Job In 2009

Adjusting To Being Unemployed In The USA