Interview with Cindy Jackson, Author of the High Desert State Prison Newsletter

Author of a prison newsletter, Cindy speaks about California State prisons. How she is an advocate for inmates, and about her son, who is serving life in prison. She told me "The California system will try to break you, it wears people out, makes things the most confusing and hard to accomplish and tiresome as possible, in hopes you just go away. But it's the family bond that holds us together, and God is the glue."

Cindy, could you give us a bio of both yourself and your son?

My name is Cindy Jackson. I am 50 years old; I live in Stockton, CA, and work at University of The Pacific. My interests first begins with my spiritual journey, my husband and 5 children, my oldest son's legal work, the school I'm enrolled in, prison reform work, the Prison Families Newsletter for High Desert, reading, my pets, and woodworking. I am also active in my church, and just came back from a 9 day trip to Mississippi where we worked under the Presbyterian Disaster Assistance program, on a home devastated by Hurricane Katrina.

My son's name is Clay, and he lives in High Desert State Prison. He is 30 years old. He has earned his Paralegal, and is now enrolled in Coast Line College. He is earning his AA degree. His interest includes his school and legal case, reading, music, and he writes. Before he went to prison, he loved camping, skiing, hiking, biking, skating, and he loves animals.

What was your son convicted of and what was his sentence?

My son was convicted of murder. His sentence is life without parole.

What problems does your son face in prison, and is he abused in any way?

Wow, this is not an easy question to answer. What doesn't my son face can be an equally appropriate question. I believe people in prison face the dark side of humanity, in almost every aspect. Concerning abuses....prison is a system of abuse, verbal, mental, and physical. Given the fact the officers that are guarding the inmates only have to have a high school diploma to qualify, with no sociology or physiology background, and given little to no training in the affects and behaviors of the human mind, then put him or her in a prison that is grossly over crowded....is a recipe for abuse.

I know my son tries to shield me from a lot of the truth and pain than is already involved in prison life, but I am not an idiot. I know the reality of life in prison is unlike any we 'free' people can ever imagine. The prison and inmate politics clash and contradict each other, yet every inmate must follow both, if he wants to live. The saying of 'damned if you do, damned if you don't', is a fact in prison.

I once visited my son unexpectedly. He was on lockdown, which happens more often than not at High Desert. When they brought him out to the little glass room where he was to sit for our visit, I didn't recognize him. I was stunned, and looked at this man in front of me, I noticed a small tattoo on his hand, and knew he was my son. His face was swollen beyond recognition, and he couldn't move his mouth very well. He had glasses on to cover his bloodied eyes, and hair hanging down to try and hide the swelling. I try to never brake down in front of my son, and stay strong. Neither of us can chance breaking down. We have to stay strong for each other. But when I saw my son, I lost it. I have never felt what I was feeling at that moment. And all he could do and say was 'mom... it's ok mom'. I could hardly understand my boy. How could that have happened, he was locked down! I asked him if it was his cellie, he shook his head, and I asked what happened. He couldn't talk well enough to answer. He was on lockdown, so the guards had someone do that to him, took him to someone to do that, or did it themselves. Because I went to visit unexpectedly, out of my normal routine, I believe this had something to do with the timing of the incident. High Desert is very isolated, not may people come to visit in the first place. If the responsible parties know when you come to visit, they would also know when it would be safe for something to happen.

I don't know if being involved in prison reform and the Inmate Family Council had anything to do with what happened, but I do know it is vitally important for family members to visit as sporadic and often as possible.

Other things my son faces and others in prison would be the necessity to follow inmate politics as well as the prison politics. The main objective for an inmate I would wager to say is to do well, be good, in order to get out as soon as possible. But in order to get out alive, one must also follow the often contradicting inmate politics. An inmate will, most definitely be faced with these types of challenges and choices his entire sentence, day after day. It is not negotiable for them.

Other serious concerns are in the medical and dental areas. At High Desert, on some yards, it is a 2 year wait for a dentist appointment. Getting medication that is not expired, or even the correct type is sometimes impossible. In my son's case, I had the unfortunate experience of trying to get follow up visits for a medical problem. There are no electronic medical records in the state prisons, it is all on paper. When an inmate sees a nurse, (High Desert has only 2 doctors for nearly 5,000 inmates, which is a problem in itself), the record of the visit is put in what they call Floating Files, which is a stack of papers yet to be filed in the inmate's file. The time I was having such a hard time getting my son's medical problem looked into, they had 8 feet of files yet to be filed. They were grossly behind in filing their paperwork. So an inmate has next to no chance at his 'condition' being followed up on correctly as his files are piled on someone's desk. Our next IFC meeting we are addressing the 'floating file' problem, as the head nurse assured us she has a 'master plan' on getting caught up. This problem they have with files leaves me to wonder how inmates with severe problems even survive their sentence.

Do you get to visit with him often?

I go up to High Desert every other month and combine the IFC meetings on Fridays to my weekend visits with Clay. HD does not have Friday visiting. I try to go up in between when I can, but with my responsibilities vs. income, lack of money seems to stop me from most added visits, but I really try to go in between, to keep my routine a little different.

I understand you are on the "Inmate family council," could you tell us about that?

I applied 3+ years ago, and was accepted into the Inmate Family Council. I have served for the entire time with no missed meetings. There aren't many people trying to be on the council, so I am able to serve more than the 2 year term. We meet every other month on the second Friday at 1:30pm. We meet with the Warden, Associate Warden, Associate Warden's secretary, and appropriate staff to address the issues that are on the agenda. When our council is fully staffed with approved volunteers, we are 3 strong per yard, one of the members being an alternate. The yards consist of A,B,C,D,E, and Z. We could have a total of 18 people, but it is very difficult to get members, and right now we have 3 members, 2 for C-yard, and 1 for B-yard. I sit on B-yard. Two weeks before the meeting, our chair sends in our agenda items, which gives the prison a chance to prepare for the meeting. We meet in one of the prison's conference rooms a half hour before the meeting is to start, so the council can discuss anything in person before the prison staff come in. We begin promptly at 1:30, and the prison is pretty adamant about the meeting stopping at 3:30. If we go over, we have to ask for extra time and usually they will give us a few minutes. But they will not, under any circumstances, go over their quitting time, which I believe is 4pm. But the meeting is usually about 1 ½ to 2 hours long.

What is your role with the Family Council, and what is it you do?

Some of the issues we've worked on include inmates with no blankets, missing property, mail issues such as banned magazines or missing letters, stamps falling out of envelopes, programs being cancelled, getting volunteer spiritual leaders in the prison to help, endless visiting problems, and even more endless lockdown problems. And one of the biggest problems is in medical. We received a letter from a very concerned person about an inmate that needed medical help. According to the person when they took the inmate to Reno for an appointment, (after endless letters requesting help), he was made to crawl to the van because their was no wheelchair available, with no assistance. And there was a huge problem with family members not being able to get medical information concerning their loved one. We were successful in getting the prison to create an phone extension directly to the medical department, with a 24 hour call back turnaround time. That was a huge accomplishment for the IFC. And quarterly packages are always a problem. Because of the long lockdowns, we have to fight for them to be delivered all the time. Lockdowns have lasted over two years for some yards and races.

You author a newsletter for the High Desert State Prison, how did this come about?

When my son went to prison I began to write for my own self therapy. The more I wrote, the more I wanted to write. My first IFC meeting I hadn't planned to ask, but asked if the prison had a newsletter. They said no, and I asked if I could write one, and they said yes. Provided I put a disclaimer saying it was not a publication of High Desert State Prison and they must approve each newsletter before I distribute it. So three years ago I began writing the newsletter calling it Prison Families. I create a new one for distribution every IFC meeting, so a new issue comes out every other month. The prison lets me put a stack in the visiting processing room, the Friends Outside trailer, and I give the prison enough copies to be posted in each of the visiting rooms. I also send the newsletters to some inmates. I print up from about 120 to 170 each publication.

What is the newsletter all about, and how often is it published?

The newsletter has evolved some over the years. At first the publications were more therapy type articles and how families cope with prison life inside and outside. I wrote articles on different ideas for holiday gifts for their loved on inside, travel ideas, how to keep your loved one connected with his siblings, parents, spouse... things of this nature. I also included an origami craft idea that inmates can make, like chess pieces, paper doll for their child when they visit, or paper box or cup.

But now the newsletter is a bit different. I took out the craft, added a summery of the IFC meetings, FYI area for addresses of legal people and state reps, a poetry corner for inmates, and case briefs that I feel are important for someone that might be working on their case. I planned on adding a section for success stories from the educational department, but they are yet to send me anything to publish. I have asked countless times, they said they would, but have not. I still have a travel corner, which gives ideas of what can be done in Susanville.

At first the IFC, (which had more people when I started writing the newsletter), wanted me to not have a Christian influence in it. But I am the only one creating it, printing it, no one pays for it but me, so I try and give the newsletter a spiritual twist. I don't come out and say, Christianity is the only way, but I do let the newsletter reflect my deep respect for God, and sometimes write if the person reading the newsletter is spiritual, then praying sure does not hurt anyone. If I write anything at all concerning spirituality, I usually say for the reader to follow their faith and trust their creator. But as for myself, God is the only way I've made it this far in life, and I will not, in any circumstances, say He doesn't have an influence in my life or what I write. I try to let the family member and inmate know not to give up, ever. And to always try, for there is always hope.

Who can get this newsletter, and where?

Anyone can have the newsletter, but because of cost and it is completely produced by me, I will send people one if they ask me to. I can not afford to keep a list of people to send it to. I'd love to, but can not. I tried to email them out, but the file is too large, and the receiver is usually unable to receive it. In the future I'd like to save it as a PDF, but haven't done so yet. The newsletter is also free to ever wants it.

What are your feelings about prison reform, and what issues stand out the most?

We must push for prison reform. As for High Desert, they are so isolated I've tried to get different groups involved, such as the NAACP, but have not been successful as of yet, I am at this time, waiting for that particular group to respond to me further. We have talked and done some preliminary work, so it is possible to have some interaction soon. But overall prison reform must happen, or the numbers will continue to grow with recidivism rates growing as well. There are no working programs to reform our inmates. The court mandated classes, such as anger management and the drug rehab courses, are a joke. Some classes are performed by pushing a TV up to a cell door for the inmate to watch a segment on something. This qualifies as an action in their reform measures. It is a joke to say the least. I personally hope the Feds take over the system and get some judges to oversee the goings-on, and take back control of our CDCR, (California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitations), as the CCPOA, (California Corrections Peace Officer Association), has run-amuck.

The issues I see that are a concern:

1.The CCPOA is much too strong, and only concerned with self-serving.

2.The punishments do not fit the crimes.

3.The medical system is still in the ice-age.

4.Inmates are dieing for non-serious problems such as infections, wrong prescriptions, expired medicines, under qualified or ill qualified staff, and lack of medical care period.

5.NO programming.

6.No true reform training.

7.When an inmate is approved by the parole board, the state will just deny him.

8.The inmates are fed on pennies a day, (well under $1), while the high-school graduate CO earns $70,000 a year base pay and well over $100,000 for overtime.

There are many, many more, but these stand out as some of the most important ones in my mind. With #1 being the biggest problem we have.

Do you have any possible solutions for these problems?

First, we need to watch the watchers, and take back control from the CCPOA. Second, we need to begin to truly reforming our inmates, so they can re-enter society as a productive citizen, not a hardened and seasoned criminal. Third, we need to begin handing out sentences that fit the crime. California is the ONLY state in this great nation that will take a misdemeanor and upgrade it to a felony. We have inmates serving life for stealing food, trying to cash a bad check, and trespassing.

And lastly, we need to quit being so self centered as a society and do the right thing by assuring everyone, inmate as well, their human rights. Civil rights were taken from the inmate, not human rights. Yet it is done every single day....and the average citizen does not care. And I'll end with this: 'That which ye do unto the least of mine ye do unto me'. (Matthew 25:40)

How has your sons incarceration affected your life?

My life was turned upside down when this all happened with my son. Ask any mother who has lost a son to prison and they will tell you the same, everything changes. Your priorities are different, your goals in life are different, you no longer work a job to accrue time for vacations, you do it to take the time off needed for court dates, research, and visits. You find ways of funding the endless attorney fees, and court costs. Nothing is the same. You begin a new life, one of frustration, fear, and helplessness. You find out what is really and truly important in life, and who truly your friends are. You realize when you hear people whine and complain about their kids doing this and that, you just want to grab them and tell them to treasure the time they have with them, to fight and do what ever they need to teach them to stay out of trouble; and where they might lay their passion in life.

And after your child enters prison, you go to bed every night and wake with the same feeling, will he die today, or will he be safe. And after a couple years have passed, you begin to drain and drop lower into a depression of helplessness. You just feel you can no longer hang in there. And at the dept of your pain, you reach out, (at least for me), I reached for God, and He is the only way I have made it this far. He takes me through this madness with out me loosing my mind. It is too difficult to go through this with out God. I have to trust He will take care of my boy, protect him. Bring us through this. With each answer of no I receive from legal assistance, I just knock on another door. That's the one thing I've learned from the system, to never give up. The California system will try to break you, it wears people out, makes things the most confusing and hard to accomplish and tiresome as possible, in hopes you just go away. But it's the family bond that holds us together, and God is the glue. How has my life changed? The answer is completely and totally.

At this time, if you would like to add anything to this interview, please do so.

I'd like to add that after my son was arrested, I found out just how little I could do to help because we are a financially poor family. But an Innocence Project in Hawaii took my son's case two years ago, and they found proof of my son's non involvement in the crime he was convicted of, and his innocence. His appeal is awaiting the Federal Courts decision as I type.

And last, the system is set up to serve the rich, and to wear everyone else out. My determination and spirituality is what takes me from day to day. Without God, I would have ended the pain and suffering long ago. But I will not give up. If there is a breath in me, I will have hope, and faith that one day things as they are now, will be as they should be. And if my son ever walks, I will continue to fight for human rights. I know this, or I wouldn't be studying law.

I pray for all inmates, and the victims of crime, their families, and the families of inmates. We are all victims.

I'd like to thank Cindy at this time for this detailed interview that has brought much light on the California prison system. It is people like her who fight to make a change in prison issues that need desperatly to be addressed.