Interview with a Condemned Man: Carlton A. Turner

Carlton A. Turner sits in his death row cell, waiting to be executed. He has an execution date of July 10, 2008. Back in September of 2007 Turner "cheated" the executioner and was granted a stay of execution just hours before his scheduled execution. The Supreme Court was then ruling whether lethal injection was cruel and unusual. Since the ruling came back 7-2, that it was not, Texas has lined up over a dozen executions. Here is my interview with Carlton, as he speaks about his thoughts on prison and the death penalty, and his life and death.

Carlton, can you tell us about your conviction and how long you have been on death row? Are you guilty?

I have been convicted of Capital murder for the killing of 2 people in the process of robbery, of this charge I am not guilty. The first death came from a volatile situation which could have went either way in the end. Both were aggressors and defenders. I had the upper hand of the situation and happened to live. Either way, someone was to die at that moment. The second death was from psychological conditioning and stress. To put it simple, I blacked out as a controller of my actions. I knew what I was doing, but was not in control of my body until it was over. The taking of money was an afterthought. I knew this was the end so it did not matter whether money was stolen or not. The owners were no longer alive, so there was no sense in letting the state take it in the end. As harsh as it sounds, but my mentality at the time told me they wouldn't need it now and I needed a bit at the moment. It's not like I put it towards any long term investments and tried to get away with it. So, I am not guilty of Capital murder, but I am guilty of murder and robbery as an afterthought. If you still want to call that Capital murder, then that's just fine. It's all about perception. It doesn't change the fact that I have killed people.

What has the years on death row been like?

The years on death row have been like one long day. Not too much changes at all. Each day is very similar to the next. I like saying that I have only lived two days. The day I arrived and the day I died. Everything else in between has just been redundant. Suspended animation. Nothing much to speak of other than the projects I've completed in spite of the circumstances.

Is there anything you wish to say about the victims of your crime?

The only thing I'd like to say about the victims is that I never really sought to smear the integrity of their name. My parents were good people with faults like anybody else. I cannot blame them for not being suited to raising me, because I am a bit complicated as a human being. Yet, outside of my relationship with them, they were very good people in so many ways. Models of the boring American Dream. Vanilla all the way!

On September of 2007 you came just hours away from being executed, but was granted a stay of execution because the Supreme Court was ruling whether or not lethal injection was cruel and unusual. What were your thoughts at the time?

My only thoughts at the time of getting a stay of execution last September 27, was that all glory goes to God. That's pretty much it, since my human virtues and ego was killed before I was in the death chamber. I put the world behind me, so I didn't have anything I looked forward to in the future. I just wanted to move on. Yet, I do not mind being alive for the time I have left.

How were you treated by the prison staff the days before your scheduled execution, and the hours before?

Prison staff has not been a factor with me in a long time. I treat them with courtesy and I expect no special treatment back, but there have been times when human understanding has led to compromise due to the extreme nature of my situation. No luxuries, but there have been efforts to make my time a little less stressful. I can't speak for other men, since they have not done many of the things that I have done in the past which contributed to my way of interacting with prison officials. There have been times of incooperation and pure rebellion. It is better to have peace than go through all of that kind of stuff again. All I ask is that I'm not harassed.

You could say you cheated the executioner that day you got a stay, do you think it was for a spiritual reason as well?

Sure, there is a spiritual reason for everything in this world. Though, at times and levels, it has nothing to do with me. Sometimes we are used as examples of faith. Yet, during this time I have learned a lot about love itself and it has made me a better person.

Do you expect an execution date now that the court has ruled lethal injection is not cruel and unusual?

I currently have a date of execution for July 10, 2008.

Do you feel lethal injection is cruel and unusual?

I do not feel that the lethal injection is cruel and unusual when it comes to the actual physical aspect, if it is applied as they say it is supposed to. Painless, however the cruel and unusual punishment is apparent in the psychological pain that I have to go through and most importantly, the people that love me. I have watched the effects it has had on the people I love and I guarantee you that long after I am dead, they will hurt more than you can imagine. It's not fair, because they had nothing to do with my actions and now they will experience this pain which can be unbearable. I think these people are the most overlooked victims in the whole process. nobody speaks for them. Most people have a "deal with it "attitude. This is just insensitive and inhumane. All the death penalty is doing is continuing the circle of death and making more victims, it solves nothing!

On a web sitethat has dedicated a page to you, your interests are listed as, "Aesthetics,Philosophy,Theology,Occultism, Anthropology, Industrial Heavy Metal, Goth, Anne Rice, Dan Brown, Egyptology, Theosophy, Art, and Revolution Rhetoric." Does your interest in these particular subjects effect your thinking on life and death?

Yes, everything of my interests has a lot to do with life and death. They are studies which seek to uncover the mysteries of life and death. I have always seen death as a part of life which will bring our existence into fruition. we never are truly complete until death, because everything in our life can change within an instance. We constantly build character until death. Constantly learn and modify ourselves according to what we see fit. we adapt. These subjects all deal with death, burial, and resurrection at points. They can bring deeper understanding to life. They are tools to build with purposes to overcome the threat of stagnation.

What do you think happens when someone dies?

I have no thoughts on what happens to people when they die. I do my best not to presume things which I have no experience of. How can any of us know for sure? Nothing in life is ever as it presents itself. So, what makes death any different? who says that we even get the answers to our questions after death. Some people want to know everything, but if we have the postulate that God is infinite, then none can know everything unless they are at one with Godhood. Apotheosis.

Are you afraid to die, and now that you have been given an execution date, what are your thoughts on that?

I am not afraid of death. Why should we be afraid of something that everyone has to face. sure, we can be anxious, but it is no more anxiety than when we graduate from any school and face a new year at an unfamiliar school? I don't think of execution much. no more than other people think of their own demise. Who says that I might not have a heart attack before then?

What accomplishments have you made since being incarcerated?

Since I have been here, I have accomplished only a little bit. I have participated in community activism, published a poetry book, done several pieces of art. Really not much to speak of. I've never been much of a self promoter, so it would be great if I had some sort of promoter to hype that image up. I've done a few things though. just nothing I'm prone to brag about in any way. I try to help others as much as possible, so many of my accomplishments lay in this realm.

What important things should the public be made aware of as far as Capital punishment is concerned.

The most important thing that people should know about capital punishment is that it does not solve anything. It is expensive and unnecessary. it hurts more than it heals. It's not justice, and largely corrupt. There is no positive virtue in this conflict. the only thing it drives it on is the bloodlust of society. Every killer has an objective which seems righteous. Each killer thinks that people deserve to die for some sort of slight against them. This is the same purpose behind state sanctioned murder. It doesn't make it any better than what I've done. regardless of any intentions, killing humans is wrong. Point blank. The state is teaching that it is justifiable to kill people for slights. Killing to teach that it is wrong to kill. All one has to do is consider the death penalty with a rational mind to see that it is flawed and inhumane. Yet, most people are caught in the politics and sensationalism of it all.

Just was the Romans and the gladiators and lions den. It's all bloodlust. humanity hates this part of itself, so as a symbol of killing it, it kills those who represent this trait. Yet, it only further continues the cycle. a snake eating it's own tail. Personally, if they weren't calling it justice, I'd have no problem with it. Just as long as they were telling the truth that people are being killed unnecessary. America has this very badly. I just wonder how many Iraqis have been murdered for America's self-righteous cause. How many Somalia's were killed in Mogadishu. We're giving up on humanity when we kill people.

How do you want to be remembered?

I do not want to be remembered. I would like to die peacefully and alone. I lived my life alone, so I would like to die this way. I have not really done anything with redeeming values and I have never felt welcome in this earth, so I am not wanting to be remembered. I want to die like the rest of the outcast before me, they are my kin, so I stand in solidarity with them.

At this time, if there is anything you wish to say please do so.

Thank you for your time and interests. I apologize for not being a much more dynamic person, but most of my value is of personal character I have gathered my treasures where they cannot be spoiled by the deeds of mankind. Death offers me a promising potential of positive progress in the things that I have come to learn and value. I'm sorry that I could not be more of a positive influence and or effect in society. I'll leave that up to the Dalai lama.

source of website
http://carltonturner.deathrow-usa.com/