Interview with Elise, a Person Suffering from Bipolar Disorder

Elise has been a long time friend of mine. I knew she suffered from a condition called bi-polar disorder. I never really spoke with her about it but I decided to ask her if she minded being interviewed about it. She was very agreeable and handed me the paper and pen right away. Shocked that my offer to interview her had been taken up so quickly, I paused and found myself at a loss for words. Elise started...

"How about starting off with what bipolar is?" I laughed and said "Shouldn't I be the one asking the questions here?"

Elise, in your own words that anyone can understand, what exactly is bipolar disorder? Bipolar Disorder used to be called Manic Depression. In some ways the old term is easier to understand because it involves Mania and Depression but it is a little simplistic. Bipolar refers to two poles or opposites of mood and the disorder is basically a malfunction in the person's brain where they experience extreme mood swings. We all experience different moods in that we all feel excitement and confidence and giddiness and we can also feel really blue and down. In someone with Bipolar Disorder this goes to further extremes - rather than just getting blue, their mood plummets to horrifying depression that actually ends in suicide for 1 in 5 sufferers and the "high" moods escalate to mania or hypomania which is basically an extreme form of the upper happy moods and can involved dangerous behavior like gambling, promiscuity, spending huge amounts of money. It is an irrationally high mood where thinking becomes distorted.

That's a very general definition but obviously every sufferer experiences the disorder differently. I was surprised that my "mania" actually was not a happy experience. I thought it would be like flying and painting the world in bright colors but it actually is quite uncomfortable for me because my thoughts race so fast I feel almost in physical pain and I get very irritable.

How long have you suffered? I have been diagnosed for five years but I first began treatment for depression when I was 21, 14 years ago. It usually takes about 10 years to be diagnosed because the disorder is so complicated. I can also pinpoint times in my teens when I suffered from depression.

Elise seemed very relaxed sharing her innermost feelings and thoughts so I continued to probe her.

Do you feel there are any misconceptions about bipolar disorder? Absolutely. I think people confuse it with Schizophrenia and confuse Schizophrenia with what used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder. People also assume you are intellectually handicapped and can't take care of yourself. There's also the idea that people with Bipolar Disorder are dangerous. Every time you hear of a murder or a school gunman going on a rampage people start throwing around the idea they are mentally ill or have Bipolar Disorder. The truth is people with Bipolar Disorder are much more likely to be a danger to themselves through suicide.

Growing up did either of your parents suffer from this disorder? If so, did you understand what was going on? My mum has bipolar disorder and her mother, who is deceased, also had it. They suffered a lot more from it because treatments were more barbaric in their generations and less was known. I wasn't told until I was 12 that my mum's hospitalizations were for "mental breakdowns" and not for a heart condition. But I think I have always had a kind of intuition about my mum's illness although we did fight a lot when I was a moody teen which was before she was diagnosed. I feel very protective of my mum because she has had such a hard life and she isn't as confident as me.

Elise paused, and then shared...

A lot of people are surprised to find that Bipolar Disorder is mainly hereditary. Researchers are studying the gene that it appears on which is good in some ways but scary in others. I guess I worry that if they find the gene that people will start terminating pregnancies based on pre-natal testing, the same way they do with Downs Syndrome.

Do you fear your child may suffer from depression or from your disorder? Always, everyday. I nearly didn't have children because of it but I guess I decided that I am ultimately glad I was born so why would I make a decision for my child to not experience life? Sometimes I look at my mum's face when I am sick and see the guilt and pain and I worry. I also see some things in my daughter and worry. But I pray treatment will be even better if she ever needs it.

Do you worry people will think or treat you differently when and if they find out you suffer from such bouts of depression? Yes I do. Stigma is still very bad, especially in the workplace. Basically, despite laws against it, if you disclose your illness 9/10 times you won't get the job. Employers make concessions for disabilities like wheelchairs etc but are very reluctant to accommodate people with a mental illness. I also am picky about which friends I tell because people do treat you differently. I don't want people treating me like I can't do things or make a contribution.

Do you have any uplifting advice or words for readers who may be suffering from bipolar? You are not alone! There are millions of us living successful lives. I have a happy marriage and a gorgeous child. More and more is being found out about treatments so there is no need to suffer alone and without good medical treatment. There are thousands of gifted and talented sufferers in the world. Hold your head high and don't be ashamed. Take care of yourself and enjoy life one day at a time because it is possible to live a fulfilling life. I also comfort myself with my faith and the fact that God does not make mistakes. He made me unique and beautiful just the way I am.

And, Elise is just that! Beautiful in so very many ways.

I'd like to thank Elise for sharing her time and experience with all of us. I hope you the reader learned something bipolar, because education is the first step to understanding.