Interview to Find Out About the Real John Myers, Yahoo Contributor

John Myers's library of articles on his profile page is probably one of the most diverse of anyone. Subject material includes everything from his personal life to great roller coasters to music. His knowledge of contemporary music is abundantly clear, and John's articles often include music from decades past. Thank goodness, or I wouldn't know anybody he's talking about. John agreed to sit on the hot seat for me, and I think his readers will be enlightened by some of the things he shared.

Okay, John, first question. We know you're a school teacher, and as a teacher you have the secret to one of those great mysteries of life. What really goes on in the teacher's lounge at school?

Hmmm, I could really get into trouble with this one. Let's just say that whatever happens in the teacher's lounge stays in the teacher's lounge.

I hate that, John. I've been waiting 50 years to get an answer to that one. Okay, we'll try another one. A reliable source told me that you had a secret ambition to be a Chippendale dancer? Any truth to that, John? If I could get you an audition, exactly what dance would you do to impress the judges?

Who told you that? I want names! All kidding aside, yes, there was a time when I aspired to be a Chippendale. I even auditioned once, but they said I didn't look good in a bowtie, and they didn't appreciate the chicken dance.

If I had another chance to audition, I definitely wouldn't do the chicken dance again. Too complicated and it doesn't really show off anything. I think that maybe next time I'd probably do a little break dancing, cause even at my age, I've still got the moves!

I'll see what I can do for you. If you were an animal, John, would you rather be a openly-dangerous porcupine where you can see the quills or a sneaky skunk who'll catch you off-guard when you turn your back?

This one's a no brainer! Since I'm one of those quiet, unassuming types, I'd definitely be the skunk. I've been told that I can be sneaky at times. Um, excuse me Pattie, but what's that behind you?

Okay, cute boy, no funny stuff. Is that you rubbing my leg, John? No, it's just fuzzy house shoe. In reading your articles on your profile page, I see that you have a variety of interests, but music is obviously one of your loves. You've also written some articles of a very personal nature expressing your emotions. I'm a lover of music, too. Using that emotional and superior musical knowledge, tell me what song reminds you of you. And then tell me which one do you think reminds you or me.

I like this question! Hmm..let me think -- I've got it, "Kind and Generous" by Natalie Merchant. It's a song about being grateful for the things and the people you have in life and every time I hear it I imagine it as if she's singing directly to me:

"You've been so kind and generous.
I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I'm in debt to you
For your selflessness, my admiration
And for everything you've done
You know I'm bound...
I'm bound to thank you for it"

Not that I'm bragging or anything. I'm way too kind, oftentimes to my own detriment.

Now as for you, that one's a little harder. Since you're from the South, I think I want to pick something that has to do with the South -- "Sweet Home Alabama?" -- no, that's not where you're -- I've got it!

"Don't tell me not to live,
Just sit and putter,
Life's candy and the sun's
A ball of butter.
Don't bring around a cloud
To rain on my parade."

Can you tell I like quoting lyrics? "Don't Rain on My Parade!" That's the one. Though I don't know you very well, other than from what you write, to me you're an optimist, a funny one at that, but yeah, an optimist! Whew, that part was tough!

That's pretty good choices, John. After I asked that, I was kind of worried you might have some title with a witch in it. Now, John, since you're a school teacher, we know you have seen some kids do some crazy things over the years. Tell us the craziest thing you ever did in school, whether you got in trouble or not. But I'll warn you that I don't think there's a statute of limitations on school antics.

You see, I was all ready to tell you a story that immediately came to mind when I read the question, but then I saw that last sentence. Oh well, since my mom already nailed me for this one, what do I have to lose? Now looking back, this one is quite ironic, since I am a gay man, but back when I was in the third grade I used to love monster movies. You know, Dracula, Frankenstein and the Wolfman -- anyhow, I used to buy this magazine sometimes when I'd take a walk down to the stationary store near my house. It was called "Famous Monsters of Filmland."

Well, this one particular issue had a photo in it from an old Andy Warhol version of "Dracula", and the photo was of a female vampire and her booby was showing. Of course that's not why I bought the magazine, but it was the reason for me bringing it to school. I'd just moved to Long Island in the middle of the school year and was looking to score some friends. There I was, showing off the booby to my classmates when all of a sudden, Mrs. Lundy's shadow cast its dark image over my desk. Needless to say it was the first (and only) time my mom was ever called in to school because of me.

Oh, John, that is a hoot! I wish I'd thought of that when I was going to a new school.

I would like to thank John for sharing with us, and I recommend the following articles of his:

A Panic in Paradise
www.associatedcontent.com/article/6025004/a_panic_attack_in_paradise_pg2.html

Out of the Mouths of Babes, Part 9: Student of the Month
www.associatedcontent.com/article/7821848/out_of_the_mouths_of_babes_part_9_student.html

Here's to Good Friends
www.associatedcontent.com/article/5651266/heres_to_good_friends.html

John Myers Profile Page

contributor.yahoo.com/user/91700/john_myers.html