Interview with Nadja Halilbegovich, Author of My Childhood Under Fire: A Sarajevo Diary

Nadja Halilbegovich was 12 when war broke out in Sarajevo. She shared her anger, confusion, and dreams in the pages of her diary. She shares her words now in My Childhood Under Fire: A Sarajevo Diary in the hopes of giving a voice to the children of conflict around the world. All Info About Teen Reading had a chance to talk with this inspiring young author.

A diary is usually a very personal thing. Why did you decide to publish yours, first in Europe and then in the United States?
I started sharing parts of my diary on the National Radio as a way to express myself. I wanted a way to connect with my fellow citizens and also bring forth a child's voice and perspective. The dream of publishing my diary came naturally as the next step of sharing and connecting with people outside of my country. When I came to the U.S. I realized that people genuinely wanted to learn more about the war in Bosnia and my story, so the dream of being published in North America became more intense. I feel so blessed and happy to have this dream realized.

Could you briefly fill us in on your life since the events of the book?
I escaped the war at the age of 16 through an underground tunnel. I came to the United States and lived with a wonderful American family. I was so hungry for knowledge so I worked very hard to learn English and I finished three grades in two years. I went to university majoring in Vocal Performance and Theater. I began speaking at various conferences and gatherings across Europe and the U.S. and upon graduating, I embarked on a nine-month speaking tour that reached more than 70,000 young people with the message of peace and tolerance.

Are there any lingering effects of your injury?
I have several small scars and sometimes I get small pains in my legs. The most lingering effect remains the painful memory of this traumatic experience.

How have your wartime experiences affected you and how do you think they influence your future?
The war has affected every aspect of my being very deeply. I was twelve when it all began and I feel that my childhood was cut short, especially after I was wounded at thirteen. The war had a cruel way of stripping children of their innocence and carefree spirit. Today, I am reminded daily of my war experience and the lessons I've learned not only because I share my story through public speaking, but because I know that children in many parts of our world are still going through the same or worse experiences than myself. Also, I try to remind myself on a daily basis of the blessings I have now in my life, such as freedom, peace, water, food and the right to dream, learn and live. I think it's very important for me as a survivor of the war not to ever lose my gratitude for those blessings.

Do you return to Sarajevo often to visit your family? What was it like to return for the first time?
I would love to visit my parents and Sarajevo more often, but I usually get to go once in two years or so. The first time I went back was in the summer of 1996 and it was both wonderful and painful. Of course, it was wonderful to be back home, see my parents, family and friends, but much of the city was in ruins and the lasting consequences of the three and a half years of destruction were very disheartening. The factories, businesses, schools and every part of the city life had to be rebuilt and nourished back to what it was before the war. Over the past decade, I've learned that it takes a long time to rebuild a war torn country. It is much easier to destroy than to create.

From your perspective, how has the city recovered from the war?
I think Sarajevo is still recovering and it will continue to recover for many years to come. The progress is very slow. It's not just about the buildings, the factories and businesses. It's about the people's minds and spirits that have been through so much. This takes a long time and it depends on each individual.

Do you think you'll ever return to Sarajevo permanently?
I will always be most deeply connected to my city. It is my birthplace, my well of inspiration, the home of my dearest parents and the keeper of some of my happiest as well as saddest memories. However, at this point in my life, I am not planning on living in Sarajevo permanently.

How did you make the transition from war in Sarajevo to a peaceful life after your escape?
The transition was easy and wonderful! It is so easy to get used to a good and comfortable life after so many deprivations. My host family tells me that I simply couldn't get enough of cheese and pizza for the first while that I lived with them. I think it's funny. I guess I really missed those things during the war. It was wonderful to be able to go to school, learn English, walk in the grass and not fear that a bomb or mine might explode. The hard part was getting used to living without my parents and worrying about their safety back in Sarajevo.

What was the hardest part of coming to the United States?
Leaving my family and not knowing whether I would ever see them again! I wrote them countless letters which my host father faxed to my mom at work.

What was the most surprising thing about the United States?
As a teenager, I only knew America through the glamour of Hollywood movies. When I was greeted by dozens of warm and caring American people at the airport and later at my new school and community, I came to a wonderful realization that our differences of culture, language or social status pale in comparison to our mutual humanity and capacity for goodness.

What gives you strength?
My deep belief that peace is possible gives me a lot of strength and hope. I believe that peacemaking is a long process which we have to work on as individuals as well as communities. It will take a lot of time and effort, but I believe that in the purest corners of everyone's heart lies the desire for peace, for the world where we are acknowledged, accepted, loved, safe and prosperous.

What are your hopes for the future?
I hope to continue speaking and sharing my story and message. I hope that many children, teenagers and adults will read my book and be inspired to become peacemakers in their everyday life. I hope to grow as a person, speaker, performer, author and activist.

Do you have any future writing plans?
I definitely hope to author other books. For now, I am deeply committed to my current book My Childhood Under Fire in the hopes that the readers will find it insightful and inspiring.