Intimacy in Long Term Relationships: An Interview with Women 30-40

Interview with Women 30-40 "about intmcy in long term rel."

I recently conducted an interview with women who are in long term relationships.
What frustrates them the most, and what exactly are their wants, and needs,
do they communicate those needs to their partner?
And if not-why?
(almost every woman said -"it's useless,
you tell him, and he won't do it anyway")
read on...

Me: How long have you been with your partner?

Woman1 (34) : about 3 years now.

Me: Are you happy?

Woman1: I guess.

Me: What makes you say that? What is the secret dis-satisfaction that makes you feel this way?

Woman1: Well, I tried to tell him what I like (well actually I miss it, I long for him to hold me and love me the way he used to) he used to make love to my whole body, he would shower my every curve with kisses, my legs, my arms, the small of my back, my neck, it made me feel beautiful, like he adores me, every inch of me, now all he does, is goes straight for the brsts and then the obvious spot, and then you know what... lol.

Me: How many times have you tried to communicate this to him? You did say you tried...

Woman1: Well, a couple of times, but it's no use, he never does it anyway.

Kind of makes me feel like he doesn't care about pleasing me any more...

like he doesn't care about me, at least not the way he used to.

Woman2 (36): He cares sweety, he just got lazy, they all do after a while, in the beginning they want to impress you, once you are theirs... say bye bye to romance and any extras during love making... all they want is for you to be their maid and ready and available when they want it. So they know you have to get lubricated before so they go for the quickest the most obvious spots so they can do it faster and go to sleep. LOL, you can't change that sweety, what gets me is that they want children but they forget that womens hips expand during pregnancy to support the baby, it's not something you can reverse... once you give birth it also takes a few months to get back to your original weight and your skin to tone and shrink... then they want you when you are tired and have not slept a diecent amount of time in months, and have no desire to be flipped over and taken at all. Maybe if they did a little more to put you in the mood... bring you a flower, leave the baby with grandma and take you out to dinner, dance with you by the fire place, kiss you all over... but naaaah, it's just too much trouble...

Me: Wow Ladies, you almost make me think it's not worth getting involved with anyone past the time of infatuation...lol

Woman1: I almost feel the same way most of the time.

Woman2: I feel neglected too a lot of times, it's like they get bored, what about us? Even if we tell them what we need, what we want... it's like talking to a wall. Mine used to take me out to dinner, bring me flowers "just because" He actually never kissed me all over like she said... but it was good in other ways, our intimacy was very open and wild and passionate. Now I can wear something sexy when I am in the mood, I even tried to do a striptease for him and he just kept on reading his paper like I wasn't there.

Woman1: Well what about you? Are you in a relationship? You married?

Me: Yes, I am currently in a relationship, it's quite new though, so it's still wonderful... but listening to you girls makes me feel scared that what ever we got going will dissipate with time.

I believe however that I can tell my partner about my needs and how I feel about it, I know he will listen... no matter how long we are together...

Woman2: Keep on thinking this way hunny... Maybe yours is different, but I doubt it... they all get lazy. You'll see with time.

You're still a freshie a yougen...lol, you probably haven't been married yet...

Me: I am not all that young, I was married, for 11 years, that is a story not for tonight... lol. The man I am with... He is a dream, sweet, and kind, and considerate...

Woman2: They all are in the beginning... don't mean to scare you, but you have to be a little more realistic, man are a whole different animal than us girls... They don't think with their hearts...

Well I still think My Walter is The One, and we'll see in a couple of years...lol.

Woman1&2: Maybe we can meet up again and see what each one of us is feeling then... lol

(I disguised the names of the women I was speaking with, I have no room to post all the replies of the women I spoke to, but gentleman you get the idea)

Take better care of the lady in your life, and don't ignore her hints and what she says to you. If she says it, it's important. Don't risk loosing her to man who will do what she needs, who Will make her feel wanted adored and beautidful again. Love is all about how your mate makes you feel about your self. If you neglect that fact... you will never have a healthy happy relationship.

Even if you are cheap...lol, ecards are free, a hug a kiss is free, send her a love poem while you are at work, call her, tell her you are thinking about her and that you love her. We Never Stop wanting to be loved and needed, adored by our lover... why wait till it's too late, do something to revive your relationship right now.

Even if she got chunkier... take her dancing, for walks, don't try to "guilt her" into loosing weight, it doesn't work, you just make her rezzzent you, (you would too, if someone made you feel unatractive) if she turned cold, it's probably because you rejected her, or ignored her needs at some point and did it more than once. A woman never changes towards her man if he treats her nice and cares about her needs, if something is wrong, get to the bottom of it.

But calmly and nicely, this is the woman you love, (or did once) try to be the prince charming you once were... it won't be easy, she already gave up on you giving her what she needs... show her your love is still there., You just got sidetracked for a while... right? wink, wink.