Intimacy Problems in Relationships
In order to enjoy all facets of a relationship -be they sexual, emotional, mental, or just physical - you must be able to accept intimacy with that person. This means trusting your partner to take care of you and to never hurt you purposefully. It also means comfort with sharing personal information, and with being both alone and out in public.
Intimacy is not just a sexual issue, although physical intimacy is certainly a factor. In a relationship, there are all different kinds of intimacy, and they all build on one another. For example, if you can't trust your partner to be faithful, then it is doubtful that you will fully enjoy sex with him or her. Similarly, if you don't believe your partner truly loves you, then how can you ever fully trust that person?
A romantic relationship means relying on another human being for emotional and psychological support. It means giving yourself to that person, no matter how corny it sounds, and accepting whatever he or she offers in return.
Many times, intimacy problems are identified only in the bedroom. Intimacy issues with sex are often the most noticeable because we place a high priority on sex. If we are unable to express ourselves sexually in a relationship, then we lose a quality that has been deemed quite important, which might result in the deterioration of the relationship.
If you know that you have intimacy problems, here are a few things you can do to help relieve your fears:
1. Evaluate Your Relationship
There has to be a reason why you have intimacy problems, and you must first decide whether you have general or specific intimacy issues. Do your problems reside with your current partner, or have you felt the same way in every relationship?
2. Talk with Your Partner
If you can't discuss intimacy problems with your partner, then you have no business being in a relationship. A healthy, committed relationship must be built on trust in the other person, so try to explain your feelings to him or her. Maybe your partner can offer some interesting tidbit of insight, or maybe you'll feel better just having voiced your concerns.
3. See a Therapist
This doesn't mean that you are crazy, but that you need an outsider's perspective on intimacy. There are therapists who have dealt with intimacy problems throughout their entire careers, and you might benefit from third-party advice to which you have no emotional connection.
Published by Steve Thompson
Steve is a full-time freelance writer. In addition to the more than 3,000 articles he's written for AC, he has also written articles and other materials for more than 100 happy clients. He enjoys writing abo... View profile
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5 Comments
Post a CommentMy wife and I don't have any intimacy problems. We don't have intimacy or sex or love. Married 43 years and 30 years without anything. Not a bad arrangment, at least for me, I like it that way. Wife on the other hand would have some comment. We live comfortably she has the upstairs and I have the down stairs we have two of everything. That way she can do her thing and I can do mine.
Steve,
Thank you for this direct, concise article that breaks down steps for the reader. It is very insightful and I appreciated the opportunity to reference this as a link in my own writing. Please feel free to see where this has been referenced at: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5422744/can_we_talk_relationships_intimacy.html?cat=41
Thanks again for great work and please continue! Blessings on your journey!
The National Women of Colors Cancer Foundation formation was due in large to me revealing some of my own intimacies and mental health issues resulting from not only having breast cancer, but also the trauma of adjusting to the "cures," and my body's new configuration. Because I went public, many other females and some males begin talking to me in private, about their emotional distress.
Most people refused to discuss their condition due to the stigma and trust factor pertaining to depression and intimacy after breast cancer or cancer. The National Women of Colors Cancer Foundation formation was due in large to me revealing some of my own intimacies and mental health issues resulting from not only having breast cancer, but also the trauma of adjusting to the "cures," and her body's new configuration.
I am a -- year old breast cancer survivor still with several emotional things happening to me that no one really tried to identify or understand. The medical community that had served me well with traditional physical care did not offer any emotional support for my well being as a woman, whose body and mind was in transition.
Very insightful piece..