Intoxicated Again: How to Deal with the Substance Abuser in Your Life

A door slowly creaks open in the middle of the night, and a stumbling figure makes their way across the room slowly towards a waiting family. Their family sits silently, trying to determine exactly what their night will hold before a word is ever spoken. Thoughts tear through their mind at a lightning pace, wondering what their next move, if any, should be. Wondering what exactly it would take to set off a night of horror, or to simply maintain the peace. With no way of knowing what direction they need to take, they simply fumble through, waiting for whatever is to come.

Does this scenario sound familiar? If you like millions of Americans are forced to deal with someone addicted to drugs or alcohol then you cannot help but recognize that scene. Never knowing what to expect when they become intoxicated, or how to react when they are is a problem for families affected by drug and alcohol abuse everywhere. There is really no easy way to define how any person should react, and no one can truthfully judge the situation unless they are standing in it.

For most people that have never lived through a situation such as this there are only two alternatives to the problem, stay or leave. However, for many people neither of these alternatives truly works. For instance, what about the families with an alcoholic father or mother, who while they occasionally go to extremes with their drinking are never violent or disruptive? What about the drug abuser who uses, but never comes home until they are clean again? There are a million variables in substance abuse of any kind, and sometimes suggestions for getting out are not what people seek, but rather suggestions for dealing with the situation at hand the best that they can.

The first suggestion would have to be to try and determine what mood they are in before you react. Figure out if they are already in a bad mood, or if they are in a pleasant mood. Does their mood change quickly when they are intoxicated? If so, watch for signs that give you warning of when their mood is going to shift. Learn to read the person who has the problem, by doing this you will be better equipped to control the situation regardless of their state of mind.

Once you have determined what state of mind they are in, act accordingly. If they begin to act aggressively, remember the safety of you and any family members is your top priority. Try to appease them, remember they are not thinking in their full capacity so any compromise that does not jeopardize the safety of anyone involved may be beneficial. Will they quietly watch the game if you put the children to bed? Would they be willing to go lie down if you went with them? Can you get them something to eat? An intoxicated person is normally easily distracted; work this to your full advantage.

Once you have seen how the night will progress, try and live through it as normally as possible. If you have chosen to stay in this situation for whatever reason, you will have to deal with it. However, please do not forget, you never have to stay. If the situation becomes violent or dangerous for you or anyone else involved, get out as quickly as possible and get help. If the night does not completely degenerate, salvage as much as you can of it, take a hot bath once you have them in bed. Read a good book, or find something else that you enjoy doing that you can do.