Intro to My Three New Post-Stroke Aphasia Articles

Over a year ago, I had an unexpected but serious health issue. I had a carotid artery dissection, bled out by 99%, had several aneurysms, and suffered from a stroke as a result. If I would have bled out by 100%, I would have died. There was also a 50% chance I could have died during my surgery, but I was lucky enough to stay alive, keep my personality, keep my thoughts and feelings, keep my passion for writing.

Some of my brain was disabled due to my health issue and despite ongoing therapy, I still have difficulty with lots of easy little words, spelling, math, remembering, and memorizing. One of my continued side effects is called Aphasia. The stroke also seemed to result in me losing my husband and now having lots of mixed-feelings about relationships.

I have already written several post-stroke articles and part of me feels uncomfortable about repeatedly sharing similar subject matter. I find myself worrying that my articles might be starting to seem repetitive. I find myself wondering if other people might be tired of hearing about it, rolling their eyes, thinking maybe I should just shut up already, spare them, and move on.

After all, that's what my ex-husband wanted me to do just a few short weeks after my health issue happened. Quit talking about my poetry and my stroke; he couldn't stand it anymore; he needed to move on, move on, move on.

But how can I just ignore things that still seriously affect my brain? Should I just keep it all to myself? I often do, but sometimes I feel compelled to share my thoughts and feelings with others. I know that is ultimately up to me (I also know that I am not forcing anyone to read these writings), but I still sometimes wonder if I might be boring people and/or turning them off.

Also, I have always been passionate about poetry and I sometimes wonder if I might be turning of fellow poets, since I now seem to spend quite a bit of time writing about health issues and related lifestyle difficulties rather than writing oodles of my odd poetry.

I recently expressed some of those concerns of mine with a fellow poet friend and she informed me, "There are people out there who have gone through similar things, and they will find comfort in you sharing your experiences. If you feel the need to do it, then do it. It is a good thing, both for yourself & for other people. If some people don't get it, then fine, they don't have to read it!...Even if ONE person is comforted by it & gets something out of it, you're doing a great thing. It is a very human impulse to want to share--a healthy one. You need to get that stuff out & people need to know it doesn't just magically go away after a month or two." (Thank you very much for that wonderful remark K. I needed to hear it and it really helped me move forward with my articles. X.O.)

I do indeed still adore poetry, but other kinds of writing also help me in some ways, so I will continue to help that part of my brain (even if another part of my brain is worrying "is this too much information? not enough information? is it overly personal? not personal enough?" and more). Even if certain parts of my content do begin to seem a bit repetitive, it is not like I'm making any of it up or exaggerating. Heck, maybe I'll write a whole novel length book about this part of my life at some point in time.

For now, I will be posting three new articles, one at a time. I've been working on all three of them for quite a while now, thinking I was going to turn them into one long piece, but then realized that one eight page, 4000+ word article would probably be too overwhelming for most people, even if they ARE interested in the content. This way, if you are interested in one, two, or all three of these pieces, you may devour them in bite size morsels.

I did experience some ongoing mixed feelings about piece 2, which is related to my ex-husband. Part of me felt quite badly about focusing on the negative aspects of a relationship that also had positive, fun, enjoyable parts. Unfortunately though, the negative parts outweighed the positive after my stroke - and much as I wish that would not have been the case (and much as part of me still feels sadly about it), I am certainly not going to be exaggerating the matter. In fact, it will just be a very pared down version of the way he acted. He repeatedly blurted out the word divorce, repeatedly mentioned that he needed to move on, and repeatedly said that he was tired of me focusing on the past.

My stroke recovery is still a part of my present life though. It will be for quite some time. I continue to struggle with how best to deal with that.

The section names of the three upcoming morsels appear below.

1. Challenging Words & Images

2. Love Replaced With Doubt & Debt

3. Another Poet with Aphasia

Stay tuned for the bites semi- soon.

In the meantime, you may also feel free to partake of these previous writings of mine:

Juliet's very first small article about her Stroke - "Post-Stroke Survival and Sad Little Blues" - http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2807396/poststroke_survival_and_sad_little.html?cat=70

Juliet's second article about her Stroke and also about her Poetry - "Full Length Dissection" - http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5602556/full_length_dissection.html?cat=70

Juliet's third article about her Stroke and Poetry, posted on her own blog & linked to by Big Tent Poetry - "Doll Injection Mold Disaster" - http://bigtentpoetry.org/2010/08/sideshow-finding-the-words/

Juliet's fourth article about her Stroke and her Divorce - "A Round Thing that Starts with the Wrong Letter" - http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/6187208/a_round_thing_that_starts_with_the_pg5.html?cat=5

Juliet's new POST - STROKE poetry chapbook - http://www.etsy.com/listing/68443790/post-stroke-by-juliet-cook