Introversion, Shyness, and Social Anxiety: What's The Difference?

According to some statistics, up to 30% of us enjoying spending time alone doing things like reading and pondering the universe, using our alone time to re-charge. That is, one in three people is an introvert. Not everyone who spends most of their time alone is an introvert, though. It's important to know that anxiety you may feel in social situations is not necessarily "just the way you are" or something you have to put up with.

To make matters worse, the words "introvert" and "shy" are frequently (and inaccurately) used as synonyms. So, in the interest of un-muddying the waters a bit, here's a little guide for the socially perplexed.

Who is an introvert?
In Psychological Types, written in 1921, Carl Jung introduced the concepts of extroversion and introversion. The essence is fairly easy to sum up. W. Boyd Spenter at the Eastern Illinois University Psychology Department has a particularly pithy definition of introverts: "Introverts try to harmonize inner conflicts into a whole self. Extroverts try to harmonize self with social realities." Introversion is drawing your energy from within, extroversion is drawing your energy from outside yourself, from interactions with others.

Introverts aren't anti-social nor do they necessarily dislike people. Gandhi, for instance, was an introvert, but he was deeply concerned about social welfare issues.

Introverts are just choosy about whom they spend time with and tend to avoid people they find boring or people they can't connect with on an intellectual level (hence the distaste for small talk).

Jung explained human behavior as a combination of four psychic functions: thinking, feeling, intuition, and sensing. These functions were what
Isabel Briggs Myers and her mother, Katherine Cook Briggs based the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) on. This test is where we get terms like "ISTP," "INFJ" and the rest. If you think you might be an introvert and want to learn more about your type, take a look at the (rather flattering) descriptions at www.typelogic.com. They've got links to tests, too, in case you're not sure which type you are.

Shyness
Shyness, on the other hand, is a completely different sort of reaction to social situation. Shyness.com gives the following definition of shyness:

"Shyness may be defined experientially as discomfort and/or inhibition in interpersonal situations that interferes with pursuing one's interpersonal or professional goals." It also states that shyness "may vary from mild social awkwardness to totally inhibiting social phobia. Shyness may be chronic and dispositional, serving as a personality trait that is central in one's self definition. Situational shyness involves experiencing the symptoms of shyness in specific social performance situations but not incorporating it into one's self-concept."

Shyness, then, is a pretty uncomfortable condition that limits your ability to do the things you want to do. Shy people may want to be more sociable, but find it painful to do so because they often feel they're not doing in "right." Introverts can be sociable, but get tired out from it.

Social Anxiety or Social Phobia
So, from that definition of shyness, it would seem social anxiety is an extreme form of shyness. There are varying opinions on this, though, although the two are similar and both clearly very different from being a contented introvert. The social-anxiety-network.com site gives this definition of social anxiety:

"Social anxiety is the fear of social situations and the interaction with other people that can automatically bring on feelings of self-consciousness, judgment, evaluation, and inferiority. Put another way, social anxiety is the fear and anxiety of being judged and evaluated negatively by other people, leading to feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, humiliation, and depression."

The Difference
The difference lies in whether you're happy being a loner and you avoid "too much" contact with people because it drains your energy (that's introversion) or you're lonely, but you avoid socializing because you're afraid of being judged by other people (that's something else).

Take going to a party as an example. An extrovert can go to a party and come home feeling invigorated. An introvert might go to a party and have a great time, but afterwards need some quiet alone to relax and recharge. A shy person might go, but feel uncomfortable and not able to enjoy themselves very much. Someone with social anxiety, however, may not even be able to bring themselves to walk through the door to get into the party.

In short, if you're a contented introvert, carry on. If, however, your reactions to social situations are making you miserable or you feel they're keeping you from leading of full life, it may be worth stopping by a site like the Social Anxiety Network to find ways to improve things.