Invincible: A Film Review

I think I'd rather wear Shaquille O'Neal's used jockstrap over my head than watch one more uplifting, "inspired by a true story" movie about an ordinary but tough-as-nails athlete beating the odds and winning a) the girl, b) a championship, or c) lots of money. Ugh. No mas, no mas. Unfortunately, because it's my job, I found Invincible in my mailbox today, a film directed by Ericson Core and starring Mark Wahlberg.

Wahlberg plays Vince Papale, an ex-bartender who joins the Philadelphia Eagles when the down-and-out team holds an open tryout. Reading the back of the DVD, it informs me that Papale is a "scappy underdog who helped his team rediscover its winning spirit, and in the process rallied a city when it needed it most."

Yeah, right. Here we go again. Ugh.

Sure, Core tries valiantly to put lipstick on this pigskin schmaltz but he can't beat the dim, formulaic script. Not that it really matters anyway. Miracle, Rudy, The Natural,We Are Marshall and other films in this genre are testosterone-fueled soap operas for the ESPN-addicted armchair quarterbacks out there who always want more of these romanticized male fantasies. And Invincible is just the latest old idea dressed up in new cleats.

Although, I have to admit, Mark Wahlberg is a hell of a salesman. The other supporting actors in Invincible do the best they can with the dull stereotypes they're stuck with and Greg Kinnear as Eagles coach Dick Vermeil, the guy who put "burnout" into the dictionary, is painfully miscast (the stupid haircut doesn't help). But Wahlberg's charm and ferocity belongs in a better movie.

In the tradition of poetic, barely-civilized barbarians such as Cagney, Mitchum, McQueen and Connery, Wahlberg is one of those actors who's just as rugged behind the camera as he is in front of it. So what this means is he's able to invest his Vince Papale character with a solid bedrock of strength and integrity that a fraud like Tom Cruise can't. When Wahlberg walks into the Philadelphia Eagles' locker room for the first time, you know his balls are big enough to do it.

Mark Wahlberg's progression from a thug living in the streets of East Boston, to Marky Mark, to a gifted actor is amazing, and Invincible is lucky to have him.

Still, as much as I admire his performance, I don't like what Wahlberg is selling.

I already know that sports is a billion-dollar industry in this country. But what disturbs me is how sports is elevated to a mythical status that is doesn't deserve, and I think this hurts us. How many times have you heard stories about Math teachers using out-of-date textbooks because the school decides to buy the football team new uniforms? Or cities that bankrupt themselves so a new baseball stadium can be built downtown?

Don't get me wrong, I do think that what happened to Papale worked out very well for both him and the Eagles.

I'm just not sure that it made much of a difference for everybody else living in the city of Philadelphia. I mean, for once, I'd like to hear about a city that's proud of how many schools, libraries, museums and hospitals it has instead of how bad-ass the football team is. Wouldn't you?