Iowa's Homeless Youth: It's Time to Rethink the State's Values

The Des Moines Register's recent article on Iowa's homeless youth should have been a wake-up call; but most likely it was not heeded. In stating the statistics, one of the most distressing points is that a large percentage of youth deemed homeless by Iowa's criteria need not be, for many are not out of their homes-of-origin due to such factors as abuse, parental unfitness, or parental absence, but rather because of the local emphasis on "personal choice."

Here, many teens simply "choose" to leave home, and, by the state's definition of homelessness, "choose" to stay with friends, "choose" to attempt self-support even when lack of education and maturity set the stage for disaster, "choose" to set themselves up to be victimized by untrustworthy older people, "choose" to fill youth shelters and roam the streets. ( It bears noting that the youth shelters aid individuals up to twenty-five years of age-- common sense should make it clear that if youngsters have had a solid foundation in their formative years, they would not be in the position of needing this type of assistance at twenty-five years old.)

Those who are giving Iowa's youth the message that this okay are in the wrong; not only is it wrong to give kids the idea that everything in life is about "do as you want" with no limits, but such a message is destructive to people who attempt to build family bonds and a true foundation for their lives.

Not long ago I'd remarked to a middle-aged acquaintance that my parents did not raise their kids to become drug addicts or criminals; the response was "They must have been so Controlling !" Well, if teaching one's sons and daughters that behavior such as committing crimes, promiscuity, drug use, etc., is "control..."-- I ended up writing a letter to my mother thanking her and my late father for having provided such a foundation during my growing-up years. To refer to parenting as "control" is nothing but an excuse to promote lawlessness and socially-unacceptable lifestyles.

In this locale, that word is tossed around quite frequently-- to adhere to any standards of basic morality, to have a concept of Right vs. Wrong, to acknowledge that real life does indeed consist of laws and rules and boundaries, is admonished as "control," which in this locale is thought to be a very bad word.

The problem presents itself most strongly when outside influences become stronger than the influence of teenagers' own families, whether in the form of older individuals who play upon teens' normal wish for freedom and independence, or peers who do not have a firm grasp on their own lives, or schools which uphold high school students moving in with their boyfriends or girlfriends and juggling jobs with schoolwork, completing their educations paling in priority next to attempting to live in the adult world for which they are not yet prepared. Neither the message "do whatever you want" nor shifting the focus from students being at home to being "elsewhere" is acceptable-- it not only invites disastrous consequences, but telling kids that life revolves around doing whatever one wants does not provide a base for standards such as integrity and personal accountability

Iowa bills itself as "A Great Place To Raise A Family." No, it's not. A free-for-all of chaos, where both the bonds and responsibilities of parents to their kids and kids to their parents, where both individuals and family units are seen as disposable and interchangeable, is not the ideal which Iowa presents itself to be.

The Register's article should have caused parents and teens alike to reassess their views on what is an is not acceptable; apparently it seems to have had little effect. Unfortunately, neither did the untimely death of a local teenager who was brutally murdered by a group of young adults whom he considered to be his "friends." A bright, good-hearted little guy, beaten and stabbed to death in a cemetery. This boy's death was unnecessary; it was preventable. Yet I've been told no one wants anyone to "shove Biblical Morality down the throat of Iowa"-- and that for kids to complete the last stage of preparation for the real world within the framework of their own families is counterproductive to "doing as you choose." Perhaps Iowa should begin to rethink its values-- or, better yet, gain some.