iPod Etiquette for the Urban Dweller: Two Easy Rules

"iKnow You Know Better."

J. Bartleby
People, we need to discuss iPod etiquette for a few minutes.

Ahead of me in queue at the drug store today was a cubicle-style thirtysomething drone sporting a blue dress shirt, iron-free pants, and white ear buds connected to the iPod nano attached to his belt. Whatever he was listening to - old Dave Matthews would be my guess - he left both ear buds in his ears while engaging in a complete retail transaction. I watched as the clerk greeted him and he said nothing in reply, just swiping his debit card, taking his bag, and not even nodding.

About ten minutes later, I copped a seat on a downtown train next to a girl engrossed in her iPod. She graciously decided that I, and the other nearby passengers, should be treated to the extra sounds that spilled forth from her loud iPod: an unrecognizable rap song, something by the Killers, and finally a dreadfully annoying track called "London Bridge." I assure you that, had the real bridge been nearby, I would've contemplated snatching her iPod and tossing it into the Thames.

These indiscretions are daily occurrences here in Chicago, where, as in other cities, people drown themselves in technology like the iPod as a way of avoiding human interaction and building a self-prescribed bubble. While the sheer population density can cause an urban dweller to seek makeshift solitude in public spaces, the breaches of good behavior above are a sad sign.

A little iPod etiquette would go a long way if only city folk followed these two easy rules:

iPod Etiquette for the Urban Dweller: Rule 1
When you are about to interact with someone, even for the ten seconds it takes to buy a soda, take the ear buds out of your ears. It's not enough to turn the sound down or just nod at someone dismissively. Another human being is engaging you, and even if it's just a trite "hello," they deserve some kind of clear acknowledgment. Treating a cashier (or a bus driver, library assistant, video clerk, gym attendant, etc.) like they don't exist is pretty rude, particularly when they are providing you with a service. Every iPod has a pause button, and all ear buds can easily be reinserted immediately after a transaction. Besides the iPod etiquette issue, there's also the possibility that the person may need to tell you something important, like "Girls Gone Wild 69 1/2" is due back by Friday at midnight."

iPod Etiquette for the Urban Dweller: Rule 2
Be aware of the volume of your iPod, particularly when on public transportation, in a store, or anywhere else where others might have to deal with your "earspill." This is especially a problem on trains and buses, because iPod users often turn up their music to drown out the intermittent noise, like screeching subway car wheels. Whatever the reason you have the volume turned up, be sure it's not audible to those around you. Being conscious of your impact on other people constitutes good manners in public spaces, and making sure that your music doesn't bother your fellow citizens is on par with making sure you shower. If you're unsure about the noise level, do an iPod etiquette check by removing the ear buds and covering them gently with your thumbs. You should barely be able to hear the music.

Most (through probably not all) of the iPod rudeness comes from failure to abide by these rules. So, take out the ear buds when you interact with people, and turn down the volume when you're near people. Those are my two main rules of iPod etiquette for the urban dweller. If you have other suggestions, please add a comment.

Published by J. Bartleby

I've been writing, in one form or another, for years. I'm a thirtysomething liberal in the Midwest.   View profile

  • City dwellers take too much refuge in their personal technology.
  • Respect people and take out your ear buds when you're interacting.
  • Watch your earspill when near others.
iPods have made music so portable and personal that people sometimes forget to be considerate.

65 Comments

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  • shane durbec 1/15/2009

    Good points. I listen to my ipod at night while writing when no one is around!

  • Aaron Smith 9/23/2008

    I have personally seen this kind of etiquette at its worst while I was in Chicago on the El as well. Annoying to say the least.

  • C.B. Jones 8/7/2008

    This applies to everyone with an MP3 player. I wish they made ear buds that focused the sound into one direction.

  • me3 6/14/2008

    I'm just glad that this advice apparently only covers Apple's iPods and nothing else.

  • Aidan (P.S.) 3/6/2008

    Oh yes- and I find the noise of babies and children in public quite offensive and far less avoidable than ipod spillover. I hate the sound of crunching (its like nails on a chalkboard for me), pitchy voices, and crackling bags and paper. But etiquette doesn't dictate not eating chips out of a crinkly bag while your offspring sings to itself in the seat beside you.

    Yes, maybe I go too far. Curse my lacking social skills. Probably ipods to blame, I s'pose.

  • Aidan 3/6/2008

    For some it is a way of avoiding social interaction. I have a terrible phobia of people, and even approaching a register to buy something gives me that state of panic. Some of us are introverts and will always be so; it isn't fair to judge us by the standard of the extroverts. That said, I'll pull out one earbud to interact with a cashier, or, if I'm especially anxious that day or I'm really enjoying the song (pausing can really break my reverie) I am sure to smile, and say thank you, even if I can't hear. It is quite comforting to me to have my own personal "soundtrack" at times.

    And I walk into people without my ipod, and gods am I ever apologetic and embarrassed but that surely doesn't help me do it less. Its just one of those daydreaming introvert qualities.

    I find eye contact intimate and overpersonal . . . but I can't complain about that etiquette, even though in many non-Western societies eye contact is indeed considered either aggressive or personal. Its a matter of

  • Spider Lady 2/4/2008

    Spider Lady say she no want to hear Gamers Rap... she say run them over in your car! Let Darwin sort them out. If they are twoo stupid to cross the street do we really want them breeding? If they drive with the ear plugs in they head they deserve get run over by train, let Darwin sort them out! They little white ear plugs make them suseptable to getting them ripped off... They should have spend money on education instead...

  • Amber Seber 12/13/2007

    Great advice! My husband has an iPod addiction, too and he doesn't seem to understand when it is and isn't appropriate to listen to it. My pet peeves are that he takes it to work and that he is constandly fidgeting with it while driving. It's worse than a cell phone! At least with a cell you can look at the road.

  • Ren 10/10/2007

    Wouldn't this all go away if you get your own iPod?

  • Allison Michelle 10/9/2007

    Cows have feelings too...

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