Is Your Aging Parent Eligible for the Veterans Aid and Attendance Pension Benefit?

As independent as an aging parent wishes to remain throughout his or her senior years, it is nearly inevitable an event will occur that abruptly changes everything. Whether it is a fall, a stroke or a number of smaller issues that finally compound, it is realistic to imagine hearing the doctor say one day your elderly loved one is no longer able to care for him or herself.

The relatively unpublicized Veterans Aid & Attendance Special Pension may offset the costs of assisted living care for some elderly family members. Active duty veterans, as well as their spouses, surviving spouses, and / or parents may be eligible for this benefit. Since determinations are made on a case-by-case application basis, planning an application process approach is helpful.

It happened to be at the time we were struggling to grasp what my mother's recent loss of independence meant to us, that an NBC Nightly News story offered a beacon of light: (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17301823/#storyContinued ). I highly recommend the webpage for its video and encouraging information. It was this story which first alerted me to the possibility of my mother's eligibility for this pension. My father was already deceased, but he'd served as a Marine during World War II and had been Honorably Discharged - this mattered.

There is nothing quick about working through the Veterans Aid & Attendance Special Pension process (anticipate 18 months), so proactively research your elder's situation in advance. You'll do yourself an enormous favor by making contacts with knowledgeable professionals and collecting the documents you'll need to complete the application before something happens.

Consider the VeteranAid.org site essential reading. View "Eligibility" (http://www.veteranaid.org/eligibility.php ), and "How to Apply" (http://www.veteranaid.org/apply.php ) to determine whether pursuing this benefit is right for your situation. The website is extensive, clear, and honest about obstacles one may encounter along the way. The point in alerting one to application process frustrations is not to undermine motivation, but more to remind applicants and caregivers that they're not alone. Sometimes just knowing discouragement is both common and surmountable helps you persist.

Luckily, I'd already developed relationships with my mom's health care providers and felt comfortable discussing the Veterans Aid & Attendance benefit with them when it was time. Network your way through all the health professionals already involved in your parent's care. Actively seek out the advice of nonprofit geriatric organizations and their social workers, specialists who can help you navigate the system.

Also, ask social workers for the names of V.A. contacts they know have assisted other clients successfully apply for their benefit. When I did this, I was referred to excellent V.A. support staff, but I understand it's not always this easy - V.A. workers with such experience varies. Ideally, you want to find someone who can personally guide you though the Veterans Aid & Attendance application, to ensure you do it right the first time. Government forms can be confusing and, if you submit one with errors, you'll stall the process. This may force you to resubmit information again, months later, basically sending you back to Square One.

Equally important is having on hand the Veteran's Discharge & Separation documents. They contain vital info needed to complete the Aid & Attendance Pension application. While some seniors maintain good document files, others do not, or they may not recall where they've ferreted away reference documents infrequently pulled for use. Acquaint yourself with your loved ones filing system before an urgent situation arises.

If it becomes necessary to request military records, tack a few more months on processing time. This is a necessary first step, but one which can be taken immediately. Again, visit VeteranAid.org. Its precise and useful guidance to obtain Discharge / Separation Papers (DD-214), for example, even provides the exact government form links to follow: "If you need to request military records, you can either fill out Standard Form 180... or you can visit http://www.archives.gov/st-louis/military-personnel/standard-form-180.html. Full instructions on how to request military records are listed on that site."

In general, control every potential frustration you can, before it swells. When your aging parent becomes dependent upon your decision-making, especially regarding health and financial matters, it weighs heavily on your heart and mind. Adapting to your role reversal and learning to care for your mom or dad in a way that changes your relationship forever can be a sad and disorienting time.

In other words, as you take care of others, take care of yourself, too. Learning your way through the system all alone is counterproductive, so identify knowledgeable guides early on who can teach you how to be efficient and conserve your emotional energy. Develop a support network and utilize available resources as you need them. In our case, the Veterans Aid & Attendance Pension just happened to be a resource which uplifted us and may also uplift you - or someone you know.