Is Barack Obama the Devil?

Now before you insult me by calling me an idiot who knows nothing about religion or worse, by calling me a Republican, I'll just say this: You're right!

But at least I made an effort to change these flaws. I can't say much about the Republican party's stranglehold on me, but I have upgraded my knowledge of basic religion by studying a few religious studies class at a university because I wanted to broaden my mind and the university required that I take such course in order to graduate. One of the great benefits of a college or university education is that it opens the minds of students to brand new concepts. In addition to religion (something my family never discussed), life at a university caused me to notice plenty of new things I never paid attention to before like Western philosophy, macroeconomics, and girls cycling around campus with the back of their thong panties sticking out.

One religious studies class that piqued my curiosity dealt with Satan. Earlier religious studies classes taught me that most of the different religions have basic themes: An omnipotent being is in control, be a good person to get on His or Her good side, and occasionally it's necessary to go to war against other people who believe in a different omnipotent being. It felt repetitive after the second class. So with an opportunity to study Satan, the antithesis of the omnipotent being from the other religious studies classes, my roommate and I figured we should take the class and see what the big deal about him was.

The professor summarized for us students that Satan was a force that bargained with his potential victims for their souls. After wooing and tempting his victims, the victims' souls would spend the rest of eternity being tormented as The Devil's plaything. Contrary to the cliche imagery of Satan having horns, flames, a tail, and a goatee, the professor provided us with a more subdued and human appearance. He is the fatherly figure. He is the man who keeps the door open for you as you enter your apartment building carrying a full load of groceries. He is a kind old man walking his dog during the night and actually cleans up after his dog. Based on these humble looks, you would not recognize The Devil even when you are looking directly at his eyes as you ask him for a small favor that he'll easily oblige for a small trifle in return.

The main tool that The Devil uses to tempt the average weak-willed victim is the promise of change or wish fulfillment. Think about the people in literature who turn to the Devil and their requests to him. I wish I had a car. I wish I had that job. I wish I had her. I want a change in my life. I wish things were different. What if this happened instead of that? Recall all the people who turn to The Devil for a favor in books and movies such as Paradise Lost, Bedazzled, Needful Things, Faust, the people gunning for Arnold Schwarzenegger in End of Days, and The Devil's Advocate. Who among these characters has ever asked The Devil for things to remain the same?

I wish I could be taking this class during the 2008 election. I'm certain the professor would have a lot to comment. We have Barack Obama versus John McCain aiming for the most powerful job in America. John McCain looks like he made a deal with The Devil to stay alive long enough to run for President. Obama looks calm and humble like a cat who ate the canary. McCain wants to maintain and repair the current American situation. Things are bad, but he wants to stay the course to fix America. It's not a popular campaign among this irksome time. Obama is promising change. He'll change our war strategy. He'll reform health care. He'll change our economic situation. He'll change our ways of transportation and energy usage. He'll change your dollar into four quarters.

The promise of change sounds great for the average citizen. As I misquote the professor, "During times of hardship, it's easier for people to turn to some thing to change it than do it themselves. Usually that thing is The Devil." Could Obama actually be The Devil walking among us? If so, what does he want in exchange for our votes and what would he do if he gains the job as President of the United States? Sadly, I can't answer that question because I kind of dozed off during the second half of that class.

I just hope the Republican Party doesn't plan to use this article for an attack ad. Then again, if they're already playing the messiah complex card, it's a matter of time before they go the opposite direction.