Is Being Single a Vocation?

Before I became a Catholic I went to churches where singles were really just waiting around to get married and have children. If you weren't dating or trying to make yourself better so that you could attract the right mate, then you were really alone. There was really no place for you, even in the singles ministry.

When I came to the Catholic church I learned that the church recognizes 3 vocations, or calls to life: single, married, and religious.

What does that mean for me? At the very least it means that my suspicions about being single for a reason were validated and that I no longer feel pressure to conform to anyone's idea of how my life should be.

So what exactly does the single vocation entail?

Being single in the church means that you can remain as a lay person and minister in the world in that way, or as a single person you join a religious community. Regardless of which path you choose, we are all called to chastity.

When I used to try and explain that I was meant to be single, people just thought it was because I was not old enough to really know what I wanted. But at 30 years old, I am pretty certain that this is the right path for me, whether or not it involves consecrated religious life.

I think the reason many people don't understand the single vocation is because that is not what society tells us to do. Society says that we are all supposed to get married and have children. Married people are happier. Married people make more money.

If that's all true, than why would anyone want to be single? It sounds like such a hard road to travel while people tell you that you are going to be a spinster with a house full of cats.

We all have relationships to deal with in our lives. The only relationship I do not have to deal with is a romantic relationship. But that is okay because it leaves me open to do God's work that I may not be able to do with a spouse and children. And I love children, but I am no mother.

Does choosing a single vocation mean that I hate men or just can't cut it with a significant other? Absolutely not. Coming to a decision about a vocation is about being the best you that God created you to be. So don't force yourself to get married and have children if that is not what is truly in your heart. And the reverse is true.

The sad thing is that we do not do such a great job of highlighting the single vocation outside of religious communities. Perhaps if the church body knew more and understood, then people would feel more free to live the life they were meant to live.

For more information on Catholic vocations, check out these resources:

Vocation.com

Roman Catholic Vocations Blog

Vision

Catholic Online, Vocations