Is Your Boyfriend Capable of Abuse? Know the Signs

Some women don't want to face the fact that the man they are dating is anything but perfect. They will defend him and make excuses for practically anything he does. If they aren't in denial, they may believe they can "change" him into the person they want him to be. This is very far fetched since people only change if they want to. If he does actually change, it probably had nothing to do with you. On average more than 3 women are murdered by their husband or boyfriend everyday. Most women disregard stories like this because THEY would never put up with a man like that. Believe me when I say this, these murdered women, are the women who thought that way. They didn't bother to learn the early signs of an abusive and unhealthy relationship. They didn't want to see it, and by the time they did it was way to late to escape. Being in an abusive relationship is a terrifying feeling and knowing how to avoid it is something all women should know.

Whether it's emotional or physical abuse it's not healthy. Learning to spot the warning signs as early as possible could be life saving. With abusive men it seems like a pattern so much so that you would think they actually hunt certain women and plan the whole relationship out. In a way they do, but they don't know they are doing it.

1. He's nice to you, but rude to other people. Early on the relationship may seem normal. When you first start dating, he is in that "puppy love" faze too. He probably treats you great and because of this you are blinded by the beginning stages of a relationship you aren't actually seeing him for what he is. A big thing to watch for, especially in the early stages of your relationship, is how he acts towards other people. I know you've heard the saying that how he treats his mom is how he'll treat you. Believe it, it's true. He may treat you great, but he's rude to the waitress. He may have a lot of road rage or get bent out of shape over the tiniest of things. These are signs of someone that has a lot of anger in them and he could turn out to be abusive.

2. He tells you he loves you way too soon. Another thing to look for is his use of the "L" word. A lot of abusive men will start telling you they love you almost immediately. It's their way of reeling you in. They will say all of the things they think you want to hear. While it may make him seem like the man you've been waiting for your whole life, it's not your Cinderella dream come true. Making you feel wanted and needed is their way of keeping you happy. They feel like if you love them that you will stay with them. A lot of abusive men think of women as their possessions, not their equals. Making you love them is one way they can own you.

3. He makes you feel guilty. The longer you date, abuse may become a little more obvious. However, if you are still in denial you may not see this as unhealthy. Little things will happen, for example, if you go out to dinner with some of your girl friends he may not seem mad, but he'll make you feel guilty. If the relationship is still fairly new he's not going to be clear that he's angry. He's not going to tell you not to go, instead when you get home he may give you the silent treatment or pout. He also may seem to be in a bad mood for no apparent reason. These are all way that he can make you feel guilty. Eventually, you will become isolated from your friends, family, and anyone who really loves you.

4. He says degrading or demeaning things to you. This probably doesn't happen often. An abusive man will break you down little by little and it's such a slow process you don't even realize it's happening. They will say little things to you, maybe about the way you look or something else personal until eventually you will begin to believe no one else would ever have you.

5. He's kind of rough with you. Physical abuse starts very slow. In the beginning he may just be a little rough with you. He may grab you by the arm or grab your face and make you face him. He may not be punching you in the face, but these are signs that he is capable of it.

6. He doesn't want to break up. There will be points in your relationship where you have had enough and decide it's time to end the relationship. This will turn him back into the price charming you used to believe he was. He may apologize and promise he'll change. He may send flowers or gifts anything to try to sweep you off your feet again. Unfortunately, this "honeymoon" period won't last forever. Slowly his old habits will come back again.

7. Thinks he is always right. There are a lot of people who you may say think they know it all, but this is a little different. He probably blames others for practically anything he does wrong. He will always have a reason or an excuse for something. There is always a story to tell. If you are around other people he may act like he has to impress them. He may lie to make himself look better than what he really is.

These are all typical signs of men who can be abusive. It's important that all women know the signs because sometimes it is too late before you realize it. Don't let that be you.