Is Your Child Gay?

Do you think your child is gay, lesbian, or bi? Or do you know for sure, but they just haven't come and spoken to you face to face yet? The "coming out" conversation is a big deal, and as a parent you need to be ready for this possibility, this NORMAL prospect of sexuality. There are millions of gays and lesbians, and it is quite possible your child may be one of them. From a gay man who has been through the coming out experience, here are some beneficial tips you'd better keep in mind if you value your relationship with your child, and you think they may come to you and tell you that they are gay.

Coming out; it is one of the biggest steps and obstacles a gay person must experience, and push past. It's when the individual becomes accepting enough of themselves to let their family and friends know their sexuality and true nature so that they may feel comfortable and hopefully accepted amongst those that they love.

All too often I hear the horror stories of other gay and lesbian coming out experiences. I hear that their parents cast them out onto the street, or that they were sent to expensive boarding schools to try to alter their sexuality. Parents - denial is NOT how you handle this, there is but only one way to deal with it - you must accept it. By denying your child the acknowledgement and not being OK with who they are, you are making them feel like horrible people and that they are doing something wrong by having the natural urge to love someone of the same sex.

Regardless of what the ignorant say, and regardless of what those that sit in a church all day preaching, yet go molest small children say, being gay is not evil. Being gay is NOT unnatural.

As a parent, you need to understand that this is how your child is. For them, being gay is who they are, and you will never be able to change that fact, ever. There is a very high chance you can ruin a relationship with your child, possibly for life, if you degrade them for who they are when they come out to you.

Why is it that some parents are in denial or aren't accepting of their children who are gay? There could be quite a few reasons. They could carry absurd religious beliefs, they could have had bad experiences with bad gay people (don't forget, there are plenty of bad straight people as well), or perhaps they were just raised to hate. One of the more common reasons for anger and frustration on the parents side is the mindset that maybe they weren't a good parent. Maybe they could of done something better, or different, to alter the outcome of their child's sexuality?

Parents, realize that it isn't your fault. Also realize there isn't anything to fault for, meaning, there is no wrong in being gay, therefore there is no blame to be placed. Love your child, embrace and acknowledge who they are as a person. Everyone is different, and being gay is just a difference a lot of people have. Listening is the best thing you can do for yourself and for your child that comes to you and tells you that he or she is gay. Give them a hug, tell them you love them and that how they are is acceptable. Even if you still have a hang-up about it, keep it to yourself and give them your full support. You can work out your own personal fears and hang-ups about it later, but for christ's sake don't outcast your own flesh and blood and make them feel like the scum of the earth for being themselves. You had a child, and you owe it to them for bringing them into a world as harsh as this to give them your unconditional love and support, regardless.