Is Your Child a Quitter?

Is your son or daughter a constant quitter; a teen-ager who cannot resist becoming involved in every new activity that comes along; one who badgers you for paraphernalia he needs to participate, only to lose interest and drop out after the first or second class or meeting?

Is your house filled with enough barely-used baseball mitts, musical instruments, and art supplies to open a retail store? And, most importantly, is this behavior normal? Will it gradually disappear, or should you take immediate steps to curb it? If so, what steps?

First, ask yourself whether or not a problem really exists. Your teen's behavior may just be the result of normal curiosity. If so, he should continue his explorations, within reason. Eventually, he will find the niche he is seeking.

If you suspect a more serious problem, list each activity dropped by your "Quitter" in the last year, along with his reason for discontinuing it. Maybe he really didn't understand it. Perhaps the leader was incompetent, or your child felt, with or without cause, that everyone else was better at it than he.

If any of the above is true, perhaps you can persuade your son or daughter to give the activity another try. A friend or relative may be willing to provide extra coaching or tutoring for a difficult class. Check the leader out; if he really is incompetent, see that he is replaced. (You don't want anyone else's kids stuck with him, either.) Remind your child that being the best is not the most important thing in the world. There are always those who have more ability, so quitting will not solve that problem for long. Encourage him to be a sport and give it his best shot.

If your drop-out's reasons don't fit into any of the above categories, he may have developed a quitting pattern that can cause serious career and family problems later, unless steps are taken to curb it, now. Here's how.

Before allowing your child to add any new activity to his schedule:

1. Have him read a book or several articles on any
subject before becoming actively involved.

2. Require him to research the cost of an activity and to pay a percentage of that cost himself.

3. Require a ten-day wait after completion of
requirements 1 and 2 before embarking upon any new
activity. (Some extremely consuming passions have
mysteriously vanished following this treatment.)

4. Make an iron-clad rule that once your child begins an activity, he must continue until it is completed or until a specific pre-set date.

5. Encourage your teen to be more selective about his activities. Remind him that he doesn't have to
become involved in an activity "just because it's there," or because all of his friends are doing it.

6. Be patient. Re-training takes time; don't expect changes to come overnight.

7. Be tough; require your child to stick to the rules.

If you are consistent in applying the above guidelines, before you know it, your former "Quitter" will experience the satisfaction of completing something, and decide that being a "Finisher" is a lot more fun.