Is Your Child Ready for College

It seems like almost a given these days. A high school student graduates and the next logical step is college. However, each year parents send their 18 year olds off to a college when the 18 year old just isn't ready. It isn't to say said student will never go to college. It does not mean they are not smart enough. No they may some day go to college and excel, but maybe at age 18 they just aren't ready. Many times we make the mistake of just jumping from high school to college because it is what is expected. Really we should be going to college because it is the best fit for the student. That means it needs to be the best next step for the student.

Before a student goes off to college, he or she needs to be in a certain mind set. Each student needs to be able to understand and complete all the proper admissions and enrollment processes on their own. Yes that means the student needs to fill out their application. The student needs to call to make any necessary appointments and to determine what their next step should be. It is the student's responsibility to fill out any paperwork and do any needed processes. It is not the responsibility of the parent. Yes, even that crazy FASFA form. It is their job to do the work.

It is not the parent's job to do any of this. Actually, the parent is actually doing the child a disservice by doing all the work for them. Students need to learn personal responsibly. By doing the process on their own, they are learning valuable lessons. Plus in many cases the college or university will not discus any of the student's information with the parent. Actually, they are legal bound to NOT share student information without permission from said student.

If you have to be a helicopter parent and hover, this is a bad sign. Yes, some parents just hover regardless. Their child may be completely ready to make all their decisions on their own, but mom or dad (or both) just can't let go. Now, if the student is unwilling or not ready to make these choices on his or her own that is a huge red flag. Before you ask, "well what if my child makes the wrong choice." Yes, as parents you want to protect and insulate your child as much as possible. Will your child always make the right choices? No they will not. It is a part of growing up. Sometimes they will succeed, and sometimes they will fail. The question parents need to ask is: Can my child make these decisions on his or her own? If the answer is yes, then they need to step back. The child isn't mature enough, isn't ready, or just isn't willing to make the decisions that is another story.

Why is this the case? Even if the parent can be there and walk the student through the admissions process, they cannot be there in the classroom. The parents can not force their child to come to class. Colleges do not keep "attendance records" in the Registrar's Office, not will they give you grade updates. This isn't high school. Federal Law prohibits this and most times that information is just not available. Parents can't do their children's homework for them (this is especially true if the child goes away to college), and if the student is not ready to take responsibility for their own choices it could spell disaster.

Once again, this isn't high school. In many cases there are not mid term progress reports. Students are expected to be adults. An instructor may give out a syllabus on the first day of class, and they expect the student to follow it on their own. The instructor may not tell them what chapters to read, when things are due, or when tests will be given because all of that information is already listed in the syllabus. If your child is not ready for this kind of responsibility then maybe college will need to wait for a few years.

College is a wonderful experience. Education is huge key to the workforce and the social growth student experience can be amazing. However, to be successful in college, you need to be ready to take on the responsibility. It has no bearing on intelligence. Some very bright people just aren't there at age 18. In some cases going to school regardless can have bigger negative consequences. Students can take blows to their self esteem as they are put on academic probation or are even academically dismissed. They can become aggravated with the whole situation and just drop out. Both of these scenarios can have more negative fallout if and when they decide to return to school in the future.