Is Your Child a Reluctant Reader? How Parents Can Help

Are you the parent of a reluctant reader? As a homeschooling veteran of nine years, I have discovered one solution for this problem. My first child was such a breeze to teach to read. He knew all his letters, blew through phonics, made all his little blends so perfectly. Enter child number two. A totally different ballgame, she was sweet, smart, outgoing, a great conversationalist, and absolutely determined not to read! I had the same books; I did exactly the same things, all to no avail. It wasn't that there was a problem; she had no learning disabilities or developmental delays. That hardheaded little rascal just did not want to read! In fact, she seemed to take fiendish delight in letting everyone know that she couldn't read, and I do mean everyone. She knew her alphabet, but that was as far as she would go. So what do you do with a reluctant reader? Here's my answer: hug them, love them, read to them, don't give up!

My little miss was as stubborn as they come. We would sit down to try some phonics and she would balk, crossing her little arms, turning her head aside and refusing to open her mouth! "Honey, what sound does T make? Can you say "tuh" for Mommy? Tuh, come on, say it with me." Nothing. Not a peep. When pressed, she would answer "I don't know" with an unconcerned shrug. If pressed further, her only response was tears and frustration! Now what can you teach a crying child? Nothing! So what do you do?

What did I do? Let me let you in on my little secret; what I did was...nothing. I stopped pushing, prodding, and trying to trick my darling into reading. I had read and researched on how children learn, and I believed that she would read in her own time. So I continued to read aloud to her, which she loved; we must have read a thousand books. We made frequent trips to the library, where I allowed her to choose as many books as she wanted. I also chose books for myself, so that I would be able to set a good example by reading instead of being absorbed by the television. We would get our basket of selections home and spend hours pouring over the books she had chosen, reading and re-reading them until we could both practically recite them verbatim. Oh, I had relapses, when I would purposefully read a phrase wrong or pause at a word I felt she should know. She never fell for it. She would sit patiently, waiting for me to recover, and then we would continue to read.

Over time, she began to pick up her library books on her own, leafing through the pages and remembering the story. We continued to read together, and she became interested in writing words. She had learned to write her name, although the R was occasionally backwards and a capital letter might pop up in the middle. She became interested in writing words; she would ask, "Mama, how do you spell _____?" and I would call out the letters to her. Soon, she picked up a book...and read it. She progressed quickly to chapter books and now she is reading material listed for grade levels several years higher than her own. Best yet, she loves to read! She pleads with me to keep her library books for just a little while longer. She peruses the library shelves like she's looking for a friend. She rarely checks out movies or cartoons, but fills her own basket with carefully chosen selections. She will immerse herself in a book, soaking in the details. "Mom, did you know that..." generally precedes some new tidbit of knowledge, which frequently mom did NOT know!

Trying to teach your child to read, and not having much success? In teaching my own child, I learned a great deal. I learned to smile when she made her non-reading announcements to the world and not worry about it. I learned that it didn't really matter what anyone else thought because I was doing what was best for my child, and who knew her better than me? My reluctant reader taught me that true learning does not involve tears. She taught me that the natural curiosity of a child prods him or her much better than an overanxious parent. Read to your child; enjoy his wonder and amazement, don't "teach it" out of him. Hug him, love him, read to him...and never give up!