Is Your Church Spiritually Abusive?
Leaders have a great accountability for the people whom they shepherd. Yet, the church should not be left blameless for giving unqualified or undeserving leaders unchecked power. The terms, "Spiritually Abusive" are becoming common in Christian circles and it is imperative that every believer familiarizes themselves with the warning signs that their church leadership is becoming dangerous and out of control.
When it comes to the sin of "abusing power" it seems no one is immune. The kindest, gentlest servant of God may be tomorrow's next Jim Jones leading their church members into the wilderness of Biblical errancy and disillusionment.
There are four key areas where all church members should be cautious. By being aware of these areas, you have a good chance of identifying a spiritually abusive church and leaving before things get out of control.
First, you should assess whether or not the church is operating on performance. This means that if you feel that you must attend every service, or serve in certain areas of ministry to please the leadership, then the church is beginning to abuse its authority. There are many people who are afraid to leave a service for fear that they will upset the pastor or the leadership. When the church begins to dictate how frequently you can come or go to each service, or demands you time to "prove" your loyalty, it is a good sign that the church is infringing upon your free choice.
Second, you need to determine if the church is operating in fear or it's main mission- love. Fear can be used as a weapon, yielded in the hands of untrustworthy leaders. Whether it is fear to speak your mind, fear to come and go as you please, or fear that if you don't please the leadership of the church you will be somehow cursed, you need to realize that you are in a church that has become spiritually abusive.
Third, you should assess the amount of "loyalty" the leadership demands from the congregation or members. If you are not at liberty to disagree with the leadership, to ask questions and derive answers (involving the input of the leadership); then it is highly probable that you are in a spiritually abusive church. No man (or woman) should be exalted to a status that puts them above personal accountability or accountability to their church body.
Finally, you should assess the way the church responds to members who choose to leave the group. If you find that the leadership consistently declares that those who leave are cursed, crazy, or some other negative or derogatory term, then it is most likely that you are in a spiritually abusive church. The body of Christ is made up of many members and there is no "one" church. When a church begins to teach that they are the only church that is right, then you are waiting for disaster to strike.
By taking these points into consideration, and assessing the level of control exhibited by your church's leadership, you can determine if you are in a healthy functioning environment or a spiritually abusive church.
Published by Charisse Van Horn
As a freelance writer who works successfully from home, I focus on SEO optimization, keyword content, sales pages, newsletters, creative articles, and E-Books. View profile
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7 Comments
Post a CommentGod bless all of you who have gone through this kind of trauma. I know first hand how you feel. The pain lingers for many years. Don't give up.
I'm hearing more stories from people telling of how preachers are hiring private detectives, and phone taping, etc, to deal with people in either church, that scary!
I left an abusive church after attending for 11 years. Many others have been able to leave as well. It's amazing how after getting away from that environment you can finally see the forest for the trees.. Trees with bad fruit.
Also, these evil preachers aligned themselves with the worldly media to abuse me. They hired private investigators to follow me.(Some prominent ministers know all about this.) These private investigators followed me and I believe they lied about me to make me look evil. They even said they had a video of me. What LIARS. There is no video, there couldn't be, because I've never done the evil things they say. I am not paranoid or crazy. I know all this sounds unreal. But, I will speak up everywhere now. Who are the crazy ones? The preachers or the congregation. I trust the little people more than any big fat blabber mouth preacher.
Believe me, I know about abuse from the pulpit. I've had preachers point their finger at me and accuse me of things I've never done. They even described me physically on nationwide T.V. to abuse and acuse me. They looked at me from the pulpit and criticized my hair. It goes on and on what preachers have done to me. When that preacher publically pointed his finger at me, in his church, I should have immediately gotten a lawyer and at LEAST had my lawyer write a letter to him as a warning about slander and defamation of character. But, instead I remained silent for almost 10 years. When I finally spoke up they had slandered me to all of my friends and in the media. I still have not recovered from all of this. I still trust in God to avenge and vindicate me. I still LOVE God. He is truly all I have.
Please I attend WWIC .Talk about spiritually abusive. I think God put me there to learn what NOT to do!
Its a great article. Several years ago we came out of an abusive church with all the characteristics you describe. We managed to work well on a number of ministries for a number of years but when we dared to question the senior pastor on ethcial and moral issues using a biblical approach we were excommuncated twice. The first time an independant Christian mediator had us reinstated but the leadership couldn't bear us around and shunned, stalked our every move and refused to let us back into ministry. They woudl eventually admit they had no real cause in the first place for their harsh action except to stand behind the senior pastor. After the second excommuniaction we tried many times to find a path of reconciliation. When this failed we launched a web site to tell of our experiences and look for ways to heal those hurt in a similar way and to heal those that have the need to abuse and control others. Our story is at www.bleatinglambs.org. We are trying to encourage our readers worldw
This is a good article and the last two points about loyalty and people leaving also relate to groups within other religions, such as Wiccan Covens and Asatru Kindreds. I've seen toxic groups within those two belief systems, and they operate the same way as toxic churches.