Is Your Cockatiel Male or Female?

I found out the sex of my cockatiel (about 20 years old) in the most un-scientific of ways. I wouldn't recommend it. It ended in me screaming "I'm a murderer" in the wee hours of the morning many years ago. Turns out there are better ways to determine the sex of your bird.

I digress.

I inherited my bird, a cockatiel named Frank, from my grandmother, around 1990. She was aging and unable to care for the many birds she had. Nanny named all of her birds after people in the family. Frank, is my father, my brother, and my bird. Frank, the bird, it turns out is a girl.

Not knowing the sex thing can cause major confusion. Truth is, I knew nothing about birds, let alone trying to figure out what sex they were.

A year into owning Frank, I was working, deep in thought 3 a.m. in the morning. I checked in on Frank and saw something at the bottom of the cage. Earlier, my young son was playing near the cage, and I kept shooing him away. I associated the item at the bottom of the cage with my son.

I stuck my hand in the cage to grab what I though was an action figure head from the bottom of the cage. What I grabbed caught me totally off guard. It was a single, fragile egg. I know it was an egg because when I picked it up, gingerly, I smashed it, and the contents were all over my fingers. As Frank was in the cage alone, this egg was not fertilized, I had not ended my first grandchild bird's life, but I found myself crying, "I'm a murderer" to myself. I felt horrible. Frank took a decade to lay this one leg, and I broke it within minutes.

That's the day I found out Frank the bird is a girl. Not scientific, I know, but it led me to reverse engineering, so to speak.

It turns out all of this was a good thing. Frank had never laid an egg before. A cockatiel starts laying eggs when it feels comfortable, safe, and all the conditions are well. I was doing right by my grandmother's bird, no matter how inadequate I had felt.

After that, I decided to get Frank a companion, not for mating, but just for company. I came home with Elvis. I went to a specialized pet store as opposed to one of the big chains, so they picked out a hand-fed male for me. His cheeks were bright yellow, with an orange splash in the middle. Gorgeous. Frank, by comparison was washed out, pretty much solid gray with a little yellow in the cheeks. This is NOT a definitive way to tell, and can be misleading.

This was my first foray into trying to figure the sex of a cockatiel.

I took both to the vet, again a first. My grandmother never took her birds to the vet. He told me the only way to get a real answer as to the sex of a bird is through a medical test. It's expensive and hardly seemed worth it for the trauma it would have caused the bird. It's much easier now, and they can do it using feathers now.

As they started laying eggs, producing babies, two years later, I knew I had one of each. Again, not all that scientific, but if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, etc. In this case, if my cockatiel lays an egg, I think it's a safe bet to assume that it's a female.

After that, I went the medical/scientific route. I wanted to know anything I could find out about my birds. After all, I was starting to handfeed babies, all new territory for me.

What I learned is that generally the coloring is the main clue as to the sex of a bird. That said, it doesn't always apply to cockatiels. That medical test is the only sure way to know if you have selected a breeding pair.

During the mating process, they take on some very familiar (for cockatiels), traditional roles. It is amazing to watch. The male holds onto the back of the head. Frank the bird now has permanent bald spots---not a pretty look for a lady, I'll tell you.

When the female lays the eggs, she takes a shift, pretty much 12 hours during the day. As Frank sat, Elvis would search for things for the nest to make it easy for the babies to be. They reverse the egg-sitting position like clockwork. Elvis would take over sitting on the eggs, so Frank could clean herself in her bath, primp, regain her strength.

Frank has always hissed and had a negative attitude. It's why I got her a bird friend. She didn't seem to like humans. That magnifies for the female bird as she goes into the egg laying process. She gets annoyed, hisses and wants you to leave the area.

Oddly enough, Elvis died a few years ago, all of a sudden. Cockatiels mate for life, and I didn't think to get her a new companion. At 20 years old+, she just isn't up to all the fuss. Even if she hadn't laid eggs, and without the scientific test, there's no doubt Frank is a girl. The attitude gives it a way. A mother knows these things.