Is Competition in Schools Helpful or Harmful to the Students?

Would you repeatedly call your child a failure? Would you compare him or her to their siblings or your neighbors children in terms of intelligence? Would you tell your child that they do not have the right to express their opinion if it does not agree with what is considered to be the "standard" opinion? Would you rate your child on a daily level concerning how well they dressed themselves, how quickly they learned to be potty-trained or how thoroughly they brushed their teeth? Would you teach your child that other children who did not learn as quickly as he or she did were inferior and would not grow up to be in important positions in life?

This is exactly what competition in schools teaches our children. They are constantly compared with their peers and expected to all learn the same way and at the same pace. If a child does not conform they are considered to be mentally inferior to their peers.

My 23 year-old son was a brilliant, sensitive toddler. He learned to walk and talk at a very young age and had a beautiful free spirit. But, his brain didn't work the same way as the brains of many of his playmates. He wasn't a problem in the classroom really. He just preferred to sit and do his own thing his own way rather than to do it the way everyone else did.

When he went into high school, he failed his first year. He hated school. He felt like he was being constantly pressured by his teachers to learn things that made no sense at all to him. So, he refused to learn things their way. Eventually, the school decided to put him through some tests to determine his need for "special services."

To their complete astonishment, he tested out at genius level. Thinking that perhaps he had cheated somehow or it was a fluke, they retested him. He did even better the second time around. So, they sent him to a psychologist, a physician, and a social worker. Other than classifying him as socially immature, they didn't find anything wrong with him. They suggested a series of drugs to help him focus, cure his depression (he was not depressed), and help him to become more socially adjusted. They also suggested that he join some clubs and groups within the school.

On his sixteenth birthday, he and I went to his school, and I signed the papers to allow him to quit. He was much, much, much happier.

Today, he is a loving and compassionate soul. He has a job as a fisherman which allows him to be outdoors in the space he loves. He does not aspire to be anything more. He has his own apartment and visits often. And, there is not one single day that he regrets his choice to leave school.

Over the years, family and friends have suggested that perhaps he should go and get his GED. He always tells them that he doesn't need a piece of paper to prove anything to anyone. I admire his courage and determination when it comes to sticking to his principles.

School almost destroyed this precious soul. When he failed his first year in high school, he pointed to the big red F's on his report card. He said to me "Mom, you never once called me a failure.. What gives them the right?" I agree with all my heart and soul.