Is Divorce Contagious?

According to two recent studies, one at Brown University and the other at University of California, divorce is contagious. These studies cite that when a married person works with someone who is in the process of divorcing, it increases the married person chances of divorce by 75%.

These studies also claim that people with divorced sisters or brothers are 22% more likely to get divorced than if siblings are not divorced. We always knew that our families influence our decisions- good and bad. It's clear that some families find divorce more acceptable than other families. I, for one, am on my second marriage, while I have a cousin who's on her third, and my grandmother went through four husbands before she died. Divorce has no stigma in my family, yet my aunt has been married for over 50 years and my parents recently celebrated their 46th wedding anniversary. So, really. Are we that influenced by divorces or long marriages in our family?

What about our friends? These studies have proved that our coworkers have a significant influence on our home lives, but our divorced friends have the greatest influence of all. According to these studies, people with divorced friends are 147% more likely to divorce. To add to this line of lunacy, the divorce of a friend of a friend (if you follow) increases your own chances of divorce by 33%.

Seriously, who did this study? They didn't study me. None of my friends were divorcing when I was, and as far as I know we didn't influence any of them to divorce later.

Remember that statistic that crime rates are directly related to ice cream sales? The higher the ice cream sales in an area, the higher the crime rate. Oh but let's take a closer look at those numbers. It might actually be that ice cream sales increase during warmer weather. And the crime rate increases during warmer weather. So while both seem to be related, they don't actually influence each other.

While there may be congruence in a relationship, there may not be causal effect. In this day and age it would difficult to find someone who didn't know divorced people. So does knowing divorced people make you more prone to get divorced? I doubt it.

What I believe is really going on here is misery loves company and like attracts like. If you're seriously considering divorce, you're likely to seek emotional support through friends and family. Who's more likely to be supportive, someone who says, "Divorce is a sin," or someone who says, "My divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me,"?

Divorce is not viral. It's not air-born. Divorce is something that you consciously seek and pursue. You don't catch it and it's not contagious.

The Law of Attraction has been a popular movement in recent years. No matter how you feel about it, there's some truth in the concept that we seek- consciously or subconsciously- affirmation in our life. If you're considering divorce, you're not likely to spend time with people who condone you for it. I'm certain that it's the seeking of affirmation that skews the statistics, and not working in a cubicle next to someone or being related to divorced people. Furthermore, a 'friend of a friend' is more likely to become your own friend if you have common ground- like being in the middle of a divorce.

Sources:
http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/dpp/news/study-divorce-is-contagious-july-7-2010
http://blog.divorce-online.co.uk/?p=966