Is the Fear of Being Thin Keeping You Fat?

It sounds like a ridiculous concept. Why would anyone be afraid of being thin? Thin is, after all, what people spend countless dollars and hours trying to achieve.

You have joined gyms, joined weight loss programs and lost all of your weight. Still, after a few months, the weight starts creeping back on. You don't understand what it is that is making you return to your old eating habits. You don't know why you have suddenly traded in your workout clothes for a bathrobe and a box of cookies. The answer could very well be that you are afraid of being thin.

Being thin can feel great at first. You receive lots of compliments. You get to buy new clothes that are not off of the fat rack. For some reason, however, a feeling of discomfort starts to creep in. Some of the reasons for your discomfort could be:

You look in the mirror and do not recognize yourself. Sometimes you actually still see yourself as the fat person, and sometimes you see the new and thinner you. Either way, it can feel very disconcerting. You don't know this person, and there is a natural desire to feel connected to the person in the mirror. Unfortunately, that connection can take time.

Your family and friends start treating you differently. It can be difficult for those close to you when they see a big change in you. They are used to you being the way you were before. The person who used isolate from the outside world is suddenly more outgoing. The person who used to enjoy eating junk food is now snacking on yogurt and apple slices. The person who used to cook high caloric meals is now making healthy foods. The person who was a couch potato is now working out at the gym.

Family members can often feel threatened by the new change they see in you. I remember well when I began to lose weight. Suddenly I was more involved with friends and doing things to make positive changes in my life. I attended self-help meetings. I began working out regularly at the YMCA. I began to take better care of myself in all areas, and paid more attention to my appearance. I began painting my nails and getting my hair done. My self esteem was blossoming. My husband felt very threatened and would do just about everything he could to sabotage my efforts. He tried to keep me from my meetings. He later told me that he felt threatened by my weight loss...afraid that he would lose me. At times, my children tried to sabotage my efforts too. They had never seen me make myself a priority. Seeing me putting myself first for a change made them feel threatened. After awhile, however...they realized that nothing could stop me from doing what I needed to do.

Members of the opposite sex start looking at you whereas they never gave you a second look before. This may sound like a good thing to some people. For others it is very scary...especially if they have a history of sexual abuse, domestic violence, or rape. I remember when I had lost around 60 pounds, I was thrilled until I started noticing men looking at me and flirting with me. I did not know how to react and the feeling was very uncomfortable to me. My immediate reaction was to run and hide somewhere. Where did these feelings come from? I had suffered ongoing sexual abuse as a child by someone in my family who I trusted. It was soon after that the weight began to creep on...providing a buffer between myself and anyone else who might want to harm me. I knew deep down that if I was fat enough, no man would want me. It was my safety net. Feeling those feelings of fear come over me again led me to regain some of the weight I had lost. Only when I came to terms with my past was I able to face my future as a thinner person without any fear.

If you find that your weight is creeping back on, take a hard look at yourself and try and figure out the reasons why you are sabotaging your own success. What you discover may be quite eye-opening. You may even feel the need to go to therapy for awhile to sort out your intense feelings and come to grips with your fear. Just remember that it is all a part of the process of becoming a healthier you...both inside and out.