Is Foster Parenting for You?

Just to let you know a bit of my background before I go to the topic at hand. I work in the office of a private foster are and adoption agency. In my past, I have been a foster parent and an adoptive mother. I do know what it takes to become a foster parent as well as what it feels like to be one. It truly is one of the most rewarding challenges in life. I will not tell you lies and say that being a foster parent is all roses. It is a challenge! If you love children and I mean, children in general, not just your own children, then you are a great candidate for becoming a foster parent.

Every state has its' own requirements. I was a foster parent in Michigan although now I work in an agency in Indiana. I see differences but also improvements over the years. Some of the things to consider when thinking about becoming a foster parent are; Do you have the income to support extra children in your home? Do you have extra beds and bedrooms? What ages are you interested in caring for? Will you take sibling groups or medically challenged children? Do you want to foster children long term, short term or would you consider adoption? Do you prefer boys, girls, teens or toddlers? How will your own children or extended family members interact with foster children? Do you have a support system? Everyone has their own preferences and tolerance levels and that is nothing to be ashamed of. Not everyone was born with the same mental or physical capabilities.

After you have answered those questions and know what types of children you are willing to care for, look up an agency in your area. It might be your local Department of Children Services or one of the many private agencies in your city. Most will hold public information meetings to give you more insight than a packet they might send to you in the mail. The meeting is the perfect time to clear up any random questions you may have thought of regarding caring for foster children. Other adults may be there as well and ask questions you might not have thought of. Stable single adults, married couple as well as unmarried couples can become foster parents. Children just need a steady reliable adult in their life to keep them safe, warm and encourage them in every aspect of their lves.

When we became foster parents in Michigan back in the late 1980's, we had recently adopted our son in 1986 when we lived in Indiana. He had been born into the foster care system as his birth mother was a foster child herself. After moving to Michigan, we became licensed by the state a couple years later. We were foster parents for 5 years. The boys we cared for differed in their needs. Some needed more care than we were capable of due to mental issues stemming frm the neglect or abuse they encountered in their family home. They were moved to other foster homes with foster parents that had more experience or they were moved to residential treatment centers. One of our foster sons, we eventually adopted, which happens alot in foster care. Adoption isn't magic and it doesn't make problems go away. There are still challenges as with any natural born child of yours. Having their background information helps you to manage their problems in the future and counseling is available for some children, even after they are adopted. Take all the help you can get.

Most often, private agencies pay more per idem for the care of foster children due to more training for therapeutic needs of the children that come into care. Depending on the type of foster care work you do and who you do the work for determines the per diem that you receive each month for each child. Things that determine per diem would be age of children, sibling groups, medical and mental needs. Private agencies require approximately 10 more hours of training per year. In general, less training equals less pay. Also, receiving the training is what enables you to handle more difficult situations that might arise with a challenging child. When I was in foster care, we received more than enough to meet their needs. We were not doing it for the money as the money was not ours' to spend. We did it for the love of the child and to make a difference in the world and the life of a child.

If you would like to become a foster parent, complete an internet web search for "foster care" in your city/state and you sould find many private agencies as well as child protection services should show up on the list. Contact of few of the agencies and ask for information by mail so you can look over their requirements and make a determination for yourself which agency is best suited for you to partner with.

All foster care agencies need foster parents in all diverse communities. They are needed for long term, short term and respite care of children. Any little bit that you can do to help, even if you have room for only one child, believe me, it helps! Contact someone today!

Recommended reading for an insight into the life of one former foster child - "The Boy Called It" and "The Lost Boy", both by Dave Pelzer.