Is This What Friends Are For? Four Types of Friends to Avoid

I've been around for 22 years and I don't have a lot of life experience, but I feel I really understand friendships. I have had a few best friends and many casual accquaintenances.

While I would love to get closer with a lot of people I've met, there are others I just want to run away from. They aren't good in anybody's lives. I'm going to introduce you to some of the not so best friends I've had and how I've tried to get away. Hopefully, my methods of getting away will work for you if you have one or more of these friends in your life.

The Ongoing Pity Party

Everything is going wrong for this type of friend. She begs you to hang out and when you agree, she bogs you down with the latest tales of woe in her life. The guy she wants to hang out with is not interested, she had a fight with her mother, or she's struggling in school. Sure, everyone has a bad day once in awhile, but her life is a chronic one.

How to avoid The Ongoing Pity Party:

Try changing the subject at a break in conversation, or when you sense she may be done mulling over her sadness and "poor me" parade. If that doesn't work, remind her about the positive parts of her life. If nothing else, try to move on to a neutral subject of conversation.

The One Who Always Has an Excuse

This type will make commitments and end up cancelling at the last minute. She's either too tired, her car broke down, she has some sort of pain, or anything else she feels like coming up with. Sometimes, if she's not avoiding her commitment, she'll say she'll call you and then never does. How are you two ever supposed to hang out?

How to avoid The One Who Always Has an Excuse

Make it clear that her breaking promises hurt your feelings, but try to sympathize with her busy life. Ask her when she is not busy and can make time to get together. If your sympathy ploy does not work, you can distance yourself slowly without being too rash about it. Realize that maybe you two don't have a lot in common. Even two people who are friends for the longest time can grow apart when their lives change.

The One Who Acts Overdramatic

This girl may be a cousin to The Ongoing Pity Party. She may complain all the time and make minor issues out to be a huge deal. You get sick of hearing about her "horrible" life in a hurry when she barely has it that bad.

In other cases, the slightest things turn her against you. You didn't give her gas money for the 10 minute trip? She'll give a speech about how it's expected of you. This may turn you off to giving her what she thinks she's entitled to. You decide to not take her advice on an issue? As far as she's concerned, you are doing wrong by choosing your own course of action. She sees her word as the gospel that everyone should take.

How to Avoid the One Who Acts Overdramatic

If she freaks out on you for not following her advice, thank her very much for her it. Tell her while that it's very helpful (even if you are lying a little), you have a plan and you're the only one who can control your life.

If she flips out over a minor issue, explain your side of the story. Tell her that you didn't realize she wanted whatever she was expecting and make it clear that these expectations need to be outlined from the start. If she didn't want to take you home, she should've said that was a problem. These people often expect that you will understand their every need even if it's not communicated. Until we can read each other's minds, this isn't possible.

The One Who Never Responds to Any Form of Communication

This friend may be related to The One Who Always has an Excuse. No matter how many times you call, email, instant message, or comment her on Myspace, she never responds. She is also usually "busy", but not enough to check her messages. She just doesn't respond to them. How do you have no time in a day to send even a quick response?

How to Avoid The One Who Never Responds

The best thing is to make your communication less frequent. If she doesn't have time for you, then you shouldn't invest as much time for her. There is generally nothing nasty about her, so you could still hang out with her occasionally. However, friendships work both ways and each person has to be willing to invest the same amount of time. Otherwise, the friendship will grow apart. This can happen pleasantly but it's also a disappointment for one person.

If you have one of these types of friends, then it may be time to cut them out of your life and find better ones. There are also ways that these possibly destructive friendships can be mended. Before trying to ditch your friend, reason with them first. If that doesn't work, then you know it will be time to move on.