Is God Angry and Punishing You

I've decided to share a personal experience so that others that struggle in this area will not experience the season of depression that I did.

After slipping from grace and for a time, turning my back on my faith, I thought I was being punished by God for my sins, and rightly so I thought. Even after I had repented and recommitted my life I lived with the guilt of my past for many years.

And at the time I didn't realize it but I began to see God as I did most men, undependable and one whose love was conditional... making promises they did not keep and offered love with conditions (depending on what they wanted or could get).

I thought God favored those who were always good and never messed up. The rest of us He loved but only if we kept his commandments. Otherwise, He would pull back his hand and turn his face from us.

But then I heard a message and like someone turning on a light switch, my HOPE was restored and my heart began to heal. This was the scripture that was shared with me:

From Lamentations 3: 21-25 NIV

21 Yet this I call to mind

and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him."

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him;

Now I realize, God didn't change, I did. Even my view of Him changed lowering to my pit of despair. But I had no where else to turn. I continued to seek hard after Him and finally, He brought to mind the hope I have in him. His love never fails & never stops. Yes He was hurt by my sin and wanted me to stop. But I kept my eyes on myself and what I thought I wanted. When reached the end of myself, He reached down and lifted me out of the pit.

The words to one of my favorite hymns "Great is Thy Faithfulness" began to swell in my heart and echoed in my hear, "thou changest not, thy compassions they fail not, as thou hast been thou forever shalt be."

I realized God is not like man. He is longsuffering, not carrying a grudge (for the rest of my life), and His mercies are new every morning. Meaning I get a fresh new start with each new day I see.

Satan tries to fool us into seeing God as we do man. He wants us to think that when we fall and fail God, it's over we have no hope. We've fallen too far to be given another chance.

But God's grace is sufficient. And His word says "He is our portion." He is everything we need. We must wait on Him and he will keep His word.

When we don't see something happening, God is still at work, while we wait quietly and patiently knowing He will answer.