Is Your Heart Achy Breaky?

They say you never forget your first Love or your first lover. Well, you also never forget a horrific heartbreak. For me it was the one that came before my husband finally showed up.

I was 41. I was too old to be such a fool and too old to ever attract another man. I was too old to be starting all over again - financially, too. I was terrified of being alone. Physically and emotionally I was a wreck.

Today, happily, I can't relive the pain but I recall the dry sobs, the cheerless days, drinking alone, chain smoking and lying awake at night. I remember the fatigue and how I limped through the minutes, hours and weeks that came after he moved out. I was attached to my pain and detached from everything else in life. Is that how a ghost feels?

I've come a long way since then. Today I am 47. I married "the one," the perfect man for me on November 19th. Noway could I have imagined then that I would be loved or love again.

I hope that some of what I learned can help ease you through your heartbreak recovery.

First of all, don't rush to "get over it." Hearts can't be rushed. Feelings don't come with expiration dates. Take your life one day, one hour at a time.

Secondly, don't try to dull your heartache with pills, alcohol, food or sex with "Mr. Right Now." This just gives you more to clean up later. Two wrongs can equal something worse. Instead, be gentle with yourself and enjoy your alone time.

Now, here are some easy-does-it tips to help you feel better physically and emotionally. Feeling better in your skin eases the heart and soul recovery ahead.

Broken Hearts Need Sleep, Supplements and Comfort:

Sleep more, sleep better and sleep in whenever possible. Quality sleep can be hard to come by when you've been shocked by the loss of a love. How it happened doesn't matter to the heart -- a loss is a loss. Is your mind whirling at night second guessing, trying to figure our "Why?" and "What went wrong?" Or is anxiety, shame or fear of being alone waking you up and keeping you up?

Whatever thoughts or feelings are interrupting your sleep you must make getting the rest you need your TOP priority. Aside from sleeping eight hours, experts recommend getting to sleep before 11p.m. and sleeping in till 9 a.m. whenever possible. Why?

Our adrenal glands, a.k.a. "fight or flight" response system, recharge between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m., and again in the early morning hours. As a former adrenal fatigue sufferer let me assure you that you don't want to wear out your adrenal glands. They serve a very important purpose including maintaining your blood pressure, blood sugar and other metabolic functions.

Adrenal fatigue is very common in women of all ages. One trigger is an emotional shock like a death, desertion, divorce - the loss of a beloved relationship. For more information on Adrenal Fatigue, click here to read "Are You Constantly Tired?"
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/115900/are_you_constantly_tired_you_may_be.html.

If you're up half the night, those sleeping pill commercials might be calling your name. But, before you go there, give this a try:

Help Your Body Rest and re-Energize With Vitamin & Mineral Supplements:

v Magnesium. Take 400-800 mg before going to bed at night. Magnesium soothes the nerves and helps you sleep. Most women, light-hearted or broken-hearted, are deficient in this essential mineral.

v Vitamin C. Take 1000 mg around 2 p.m., along with a handful of walnuts. This combo lifts your physical and emotional energy.

v Add a high-quality multi-vitamin AND multi-mineral supplement to your daily regime.

Feed Your Body Right:

v Protein foods such as eggs, cheese, meat and poultry stimulate the mind and can keep you awake at night. Whenever possible, eat dinner a minimum of 3 to 4 hours before going to bed.

v Reduce consumption of simple carbohydrate foods and sugary desserts.

v Cut back on caffeine which amps you up than drops you down.

v Drink less alcohol. It is a depressant and interrupts your sleep cycle.

v Drink more water - a minimum of 8 glasses a day - starting with first thing in the morning. Hold off on coffee until you've been up for at least a couple hours and limit to more than two 6-ounce cups. (This trick helps balance my energy for the live-long-day!)

Sleep Naturally:

v The Magnesium mentioned above.

v Complex carbohydrates - cereals, rice and pasta can help calm your mind. Try eating a bowl of oatmeal about an hour before going to bed.

v Consume foods rich in tryptophan - beans, whole grains, rice, lentils, chickpeas, hazelnuts, peanuts, sesame and sunflower seeds, and turkey.

v Reiki, hands on healing, is available 24/7. I often use it to soothe my mind and body at bedtime. Visit your bookstore, research on the Internet or discuss with your wholistic doc. Get certified as soon as possible. It is the gift that keeps on giving ...

Comfort Your Body and Sooth Your Heartache:

One is a lonely number especially in a bed. Here are suggestions to turn your bed into a haven for your heart.

v Lower the thermostat. Sleeping in a cooler environment (between 60 - 65 degrees) triggers a hibernation response, quieting the body and the mind.

v Get comfortable. I just added a feather bed and feel like I am sleeping on a cloud! Can you add some down - change your bedding - add a couple pillows?

v Lavender your pillow. Sprinkle Lavender Essential Oil on your pillow and benefit from the power of aromatherapy. (I also dab it on the collar of my blouse or on my turtleneck, right under my nose, to carry its peace with me throughout the day.)

v Get in bed earlier and take a friend with you. No, not that kind. For a list of inspirational reads that were good bedfellows for me and my broken heart visit http://www.getreadyforlove.com/readinglist.htm.

Finally, give time, time. It takes time to fall in love. It also takes time to let go, detach, fall out of love and get ready to love again. Life is a process not an event, so is love.

Today I am grateful for that heartbreak. It made me grow, learn more about myself, my expectations and how to relate to others. It also freed me up to be available when Mr. Perfect-For-Me finally showed up.

You're next.