Is Your Husband Addicted to Video Games?

My husband is addicted to video games. He's been playing Eve Online for over three years. I guess I thought he'd get sick of it eventually. I thought wrong. The more time that went on, the more it affected our marriage. Whenever I complained about it, he'd spend time with me or do other things for maybe a day or so. However, he'd sink right back into his habit. Most weeks, he plays Eve as many hours as he would a full time job. He comes home from work, turns on the computer and plays until he goes to bed. Not cool. I tried a few things to get him to stop.

How do you get your husband to stop playing video games? The truth is, you can't. It's honestly not fair for you to tell him how he can and can't spend his free time. However, it is very fair of you to ask him to play less often in such a way that the video game playing doesn't affect your marriage. After all, you wouldn't want him telling you he doesn't want you to spend your free time doing something you enjoy.

Don't give him ultimatums or a time limit. Don't start yelling and screaming. Don't cancel his membership, throw away the games, or sell his Xbox. That will only create more of a problem.

Your husband probably doesn't realize how many hours he is actually spending playing video games. If you've tried everything to get your husband to stop playing video games, try doing what I did.

For one week, keep track of his video game playing habits. Write down what he does when he comes home from work and how many hours he actually spends playing. After you've got the tally, you may not even actually have to show it to him.

Sit down with him and have a heart to heart. He'll know you feel there's something missing in your marriage. He may even be playing video games because of it. Ask him if his week was perfect, what would he do (realistically) during the workweek and on the weekends. Ask him how many hours of undivided attention he thinks you two should spend together per week. Then, ask him how many hours he thinks is a good amount of time to be playing video games. He'll realize the number is bigger.

In fact, the number of hours he thinks playing video games is sufficient is probably half the number he actually plays. You can choose to show him your log, but be careful. He may not be happy you were logging this behind his back.

Now that you have talked about where he spends his time during the week, you can ask for a change. Instead of giving him time limits for playing, you can work something out to where you're both happy. One night a week is for each other. Neither one of you do activities alone. The kids go to a babysitter and you spend time doing something together. You don't have to go out anywhere. You could spend it cooking a nice dinner, watching television, or playing a game you both enjoy and can do together.

If your husband is putting other things aside such as household chores, you can both agree that when he comes home from work he needs to take care of stuff around the house before he sits down to play.

Set realistic expectations for the both of you that you both agree on. You'll find you can deal with your husband's video game playing habits much better as long as you're still getting to spend time with him and he's doing all the things he's supposed to around the house as well. It worked for me!